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My mom is sneaking around with a man she is too ashamed to introduce us to

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Question - (8 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My parents divorced nearly 3 years ago now and not long after I realised my mum was seeing someone new which turned out to be her cousin. This has been going on for a few years now but I feel like my mum is being used. She sneaks out at night and leaves me and my brother at home to go and visit him and ends up staying the night. She never talks about him to us directly but she will hint that she's going to see someone. I've lost respect for her not only because this is her cousin she is being intimate with but also because this has been going on for a few years and she's delusional to think that they have a future together. I've never met this man and if we ever did get introduced I would reject both of them, I resent him particularly as he has a reputation of being a cheat. He takes advantage of her by calling her in the middle of the night to come and pick him up from the pub and messes her around all the time, I know this because I listen into their phone conversations. I'm so angry at my mum I wish she could just be normal and have found a nice man who we could have met by now and enjoyed spending time with. She must know it isn't normal as she doesn't speak his name and always hides up when he calls her. When she's out of the house and my grandparents ring the house phone we have to lie about where she is, it puts pressure on me and I can't tell her how I feel because I don't want to upset her. I just fear the situation is going to get worse.

View related questions: cousin, divorce

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015):

I believe your mom is grown and you cannot make decisions for her. I think informing her about how you feel is the first step to confronting the situation. I know we all have different relationships with our parents and if your mom is one whom you can talk to then speak to her. And advice her.

If not then inform her of your awareness of the relationship and that you cannot cover up for her by lying. Be open to your mom she may be seeking a relationship out this, be open with her and make known your concerns and above all prayer is key. God bless

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYou mom is a grown woman and has to live her life as she thinks is right, however, that doesn't mean you have to lie for her.

I would tell her that you from now on will NOT lie to your grandparents when they call and ask for her. That you KNOW who she hangs out with. It might initially upset her, but I think you need to be honest with her.

She might be seeing this "cousin" because she is NOT really looking for a serious relationship or a good man, just yet. My guess is she thinks she is very discreet, but obviously she isn't.

You can't argue her taste in men. Even if you think it's a horrible choice.

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