| A
female
,
*vanna22
writes: I just got a new boyfriend a few days ago. He's black and I've never dated a black guy before. I showed my mom some pictures of him and she FLIPPED OUT. We're spanish of light complexion. I look american cuz I have blonde hair. All of my friends think that this guy is very attractive. A lot of people tell him he should be a model, but my mom is soooo against it. She thinks I should dump him. I told her that he wants meet her and she said "I don't want to, don't EVER show these pictures to anyone or tell anyone about this. He's sooooo HORRIBLE looking, is your self esteem really that low for u to go out with someone like him???, If you go out with a white guy, don't ever tell him you dated a black guy or he'll kick you in the ass and leave you right away, you're gonna get AIDS from him and he's gonna cheat on u like crazy, all black people are the same. Can you imagine what ur kids will look like if u guys ever got married?" When I heard this I was so devastated, i don't know what to do now cuz I like him, and he respects me and likes me too, but my mom won't ever accept this. She told me I was crazy. What should I do??? My mom also thinks that all white people are the same and that they only care about money. I was telling her that she's ignorant for being so stereotypical. When she sees black people, she only sees the color of their skin and nothing more. She's so ignorant and i'm so upset bcuz of the way she talked about my bf. Please help.
View related questions:
aids , money, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): If he is nice keep him. Your mom is crazy to be a racist. If he treats you with respect, let your mom know all his good points. She should eventually accept him.
A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Oh .. so many parents are like this. nothing new... especially the korean parents where i'm at... they refuse to let their kids associate in that way with anyone that's not korean... same for my parents... can't date anyone non-asian... In some cultures racism is just a part of them.. and these "korean" students accept it and heed their parents' advice because they think so too.. but as for you if you really like the guy and he shows that hes nice to you and he cares, then keep doing it until your mom really causes some real trouble
...............................
A
female
reader, crystlay  +, writes (21 December 2006):
at the end of the day he is ur bf not hers u can date who u want regardless of the colour of their skin. ur mum needs to learn its the personality not the colour...which i'm sure u already know. give her time and i'm sure she will come round.
good luck
mery christmas and i hope i have helped
-x-
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): Racial ignorance is rampant everywhere. You can't just simply talk to someone and expect them to change over a weekend. Unless your mom is willing to let go of racial discrimination through whatever limited knowledge/wisdom she has of people of colour, she will not change until something dramatic happens to her, or around her.
In short, you can't really do anything for her. She's a lost cause until she is willing to stop 'being lost' on her own. Until that happens, I suggest you continue to date this guy. Just make sure you are dating someone who is a good person, lest she dings you for it if you two get into a mess of a relationship.
...............................
|
