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My man's penis won't get hard! Is there something wrong with me?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2006) 13 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2014)
A female , *oyoyo writes:

Me and my boyfriend have sex about 5 times a week, but the past few days he is unable to get hard. One night I gave him oral sex and a hand job and he orgasmed perfectly fine. Is there something wrong with me that my man's penis wont get hard or is it him? Any suggestions on what I could do?

View related questions: hand-job, oral sex, orgasm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2014):

I am the same way and I would like to know what to do

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A female reader, chcolate United States +, writes (7 March 2013):

Well my :/ and I have been married. Thirty two and he is thirty seven. When we met sex was great, now because he can't get up most times, he has tried to not have sex at all

I mean it's sad his penis doesn't work at all and there is no magic pill for this s^^^ in fact I'm thinking about osteoporosis he refuse to get help cause that means he he to face the fact and he wants to appear to be the man.

It's everyone's fault that it doesn't work.

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A female reader, Marlow24 Australia +, writes (5 March 2009):

It's not you, it's him! as they say. My husband had the same problem so naturally I thought it must be me not turning him on anymore until a friend told me about the magic pills. No I don't mean Viagra I mean the herbal ones. They are so good and there are no side effects except my husband is now always 'cocked' and ready for action. It's wonderful. The website is www.menonlyproducts.net and there is another one at www.stallionsexpills.com but they are both good. Marlow

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

My guy had a similar problem, he could only get sort of hard and wouldn't last. I found the solution myself and it reaslly works and doesn't have all those wierd side effects from Viagra. It's 100% herbal and he gets really hard but more important really thick and he lasts so long...even after he climaxes which now is always after me!Try www.menonlyproducts.net they really work!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

ji, my name is steve.I have had a problem with my dick getting hard/staying hard.All of my relationships have had this problem.I didnt get lad until i was 18...if you wanna call it getting laid.I havent had real great sex let alone real sex until about I have been getting it up fine and have long sex 10-15!It might not be alot to you women but i feel like a champ going 15 minuts.the problem is that the last 3 days it came back:(Finally about 20 minuts ago i couldent get it up.It was ackward being 3 nights in a row and all.First i blamed it on pills,then alchohol.I have no excuse tonight.My dick doesnt work and i fear it wont ever fully work to my liking.I want to try viagra but what 21 year old man takes viagra.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

My husband has the same problem. He had been off work for 4 months and returned to work a week ago. Thats when the problem started. I talked to the doctor and they said stress and anxiety can cause it to not get hard no matter how you try ex. oral, masturbation etc. Well after a week of worrying that his dick was broke he finally got hard today. he tried like hell but couldn't cum, its a start. Try to relax and not worry that only makes it worse.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008):

damn these men!!!!!! I swear men who can't get it up should get it sorted, get some viagra or other medicine from the doctor or buy horny goats weed from holland and barretts. it aint hard. lol! seriously my ex couldnt stay hard for me and it eventually killed our relationship coz I needed some sex, and I felt unwanted and undesirable and he jerked off all the time and spoke openly about it, basically I couldnt take it any longer because in the end he was just being inconsiderate. having a flacid penis is basically like having a sandpaper dry vagina or something. men should take a little pride and get it sorted instead of just ignoring it and thinking we women won't notice.

I'm honestly not saying this in a mean way I mean it in the best way possible. getting it sorted means happier couples or sexual partners or whatever. because when a guy can't get it up I know from experience it can be really

upsetting, insulting, and eventually annoying.

=)

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A female reader, bell21 United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2007):

Hi there I dont have the answer but me and my husband have the same problem. It happened last week. He wasn't well a few day before and we just said it could have been this, but still no change. I think personal its got to do with pressure. He said to me that when we tryed just after it happened the first time that he couldn't stop thinking about it and put himself under pressure and whats worse is that he doesn't want me to think it's me. all I can say is dont let him think your worried It'll put more strain on him to perform and show support and patience. I'll keep you posted.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007):

I don't have the answer for you but I've recently got the same problem with my man. I't happened a few days ago whe he was unwell and when we tryed again today he couldn't stop thinking about it and put himself under pressure. I think it's just all in his head and not to worry, give it time dont let him think you think it's got something to do with you show support and patience.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007):

When you find out,please let me know!! My new guy and I just had sex this morning or should I say we tried? Afterwards he talked about everything under the sun except about us. Finally about an hour later I said I had to leave. He walked me to my car but did not kiss me goodbye. All this after he all but begged me to show up this morning and make love with him. I am soooo confused. I have called him twice since then on his cell phone and he is not answering.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (25 October 2006):

Yos agony auntJust the lats few days? It's probably just stress, something bothering him from work, or money, or whatever. Talk to him (not in bed) about how he's doing and offer him a sympathetic ear. Don't go for sex unless he clearly wants it. We all have times when our sex drives suffer, unless it continues for a long time I wouldn't worry about it. Just be supportive.

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A female reader, xLEAHx United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2006):

xLEAHx agony auntHi Yo,

I shouldn't think its got anything to do with you..is he worrying about anything ? or feeling stressed ? this sometimes can cause a man errection problems..or is it only with you he can't get an errection with ?..you say you give him oral and he was ok, does this mean he had an errection then ? if it happens every so often maybe his got things on his mind ..get him to try watching porn or talking dirty to him ..if it continues ask him to get himself checked out...

GOOD LUCK

xLEAHx

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A female reader, Jenny Wren +, writes (24 October 2006):

Jenny Wren agony aunt1. Try not to worry. It sounds as though you have a healthy sex life and a little lull is not going to do you any harm.

2. There are lots of reasons why men can't always get an erection eg; alcohol,tiredness or worries, that have nothing to do with sex or their partner.

3. It is almost always easier for a man to get an erection with oral sex or masturbation, because he doesn't have to make as much physical effort as penetrative sex, and also because it makes a nice change to have someone else giving him pleasure instead of him always doing all the "work".

4. Give him lots of cuddles but try not to give him the impression that you are demanding a certain standard of performance from him, as this will make him anxious, and could make the situation worse.

5. Give him the chance to talk about any worries he might have, but bear in mind that some men find this difficult.

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