A
female
age
41-50,
*indi
writes:hello. I hope that i can get deep analysis of my situation help me find an answer of what shall i do? i had a boy friend for 5 years and during my friendship to him i started working in a company. At company, i met a deputy manager and we used to work long hours and we used to laugh together. this deputy Manager is 55 years old japanese man. he is single and never been married before. Once he knew that i had a boyfriend and he started to treat me really bad. he fights with me all the time. he even tried his best to fire me. during this time, my boyfriend has found another job abroad and he left. one year ago we broke up as he can not come back where i am. My boss told me that that deputy manager should know about this break up as he might change his hatred against me. nothing was changed. i even tried to approach by inviting him out - he refused - by talking to him and he refused saying " do not disturb". Every time he refuses me i got so mad and the reason that i go to him over and over is that i liked the idea that he was fighting and attacking me that much because he loved me. anyway he refuses me and i want to win. I am also so lonely and need his kind of love. he is straightforward guy. acts like boss all the time. he claims he is an asset for the company. and i think he is just hard worker. there is a cultural gap as i am not japanese and maybe my approach is not that strong. but i know i cant approach any more as i always get the " NO" " Do Not Disturb". i am 39 years old - hard worker- strong personality and pushy and i do what i want most of the time.He was never married as he has a problem which i never knew about. but he used to have a girl friend. what shall i do? how do u analyse my attitude and should i approach him in another way? do u suggest another approach? what do u think of this man.
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female
reader, Hindi +, writes (24 October 2011):
Hindi is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni need more help
A
female
reader, KlassyKirsty  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I do not comprehend why ur deputy manager would develop a vendetta against u for having a partner :S my only suggestions to offer you are (a) either he got insanely jealous for u being attahced to someone else and he desired that off you or (b) unless his peculiar demaneour is like that with other female co workers and colleagues when they are attahced, he feels that it would tarnish their career woman reputation, or (c) none of this boyfriend stuff is related to his behaviour, he may acutally be having a crisis in himself rather than with you, something much deeper/personal.My advice is to stay in ur bosses good books, not by getting into his bed, intimate relationships with managers and bosses end in tears the majority of the time, but to remain courteous towards him, if he refuses to fine tune his conduct towards u big style, thats his problem, not your social error :)Continue the determined, conscientous attitude that you have got and embrace it, just be thankful that you have not got your deputy managers :)good luck xxx
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