A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelic08
writes:Dear Cupid,I met my boyfriend online 6 months ago, and in a short period of time, we fell in love with each other. Even though we live a world apart, but we eagerly started this long distance relationship. We keep in contact by phone calls and mails. But somehow, someway lately he's been lacking in trusting me. He said I was changing. And he turns to be a short-tempered guy. He started blaming everything on me. He asked me to come to the states where he lives now about 2 months ago, but according to what kind of guy he turns to be now, I don't know what to do. And what annoys me most, I just figured out that he's been lieing to me by telling me his age is 26, while I just found out that he actually is 32 now. I'm tired of all of the issues he has in trusting me, while on the other hand he actually lies to me about himself. He told me he even sold his house to start a new life with me. What should I do? Now I feel bad coz I couldn't make up my mind. Thanks.
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fell in love, long distance, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LJP2000  +, writes (11 July 2010):
I don't think that you should go stay with him. You are already having doubts about his personality and character (or lack there of). If he lied about something as basic as his age, then what else is he lying about? People often put on an act online, but it is only a matter of time before you figure it out. It sounds to me like he has a temper and he makes me uneasy.
You have to realize that it was HIS decision to sell the house. You didn't tell him to do so. He is trying to guilt you into coming to stay with him. No relationship should be based on guilt. You have a right to make up your mind, and not to feel guilty about it.
A
female
reader, angelic08 +, writes (6 July 2010):
angelic08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes, to be honest, the fact about him telling me that he sold his house for me make me feel unease. I tried my best not to hurt anyone but I'm afraid that in the end I'll just hurt him. My parents are against this, they said they couldn't let me go. I wish I could find a way to talk to him without setting any misunderstandings between us..
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A
female
reader, jvjvjvjv  +, writes (5 July 2010):
I'm sorry I have to disagree with the anonymous reader... why does this guy need to lie to you? it may be the way guys act if they are a bit insecure but he is giving you a slightly worrying message. He wants you to go to the other side of the world for him and so far what you are getting from him are odd lies and evidence of a short temper. My advice to you is not go to him whilst you have these doubts in your head as you could find yourself in an uncomfortable or even potentially dangerous situation. Get to know him better first, talk about the issues that worry you and get to the reason behind them. Why did he lie about his age? Why did he tell you about the house? (if that is true it's a bit rash, don't you think??). Ultimately if you are satisfied that his reasons are genuine and well-intentioned then you decide if you should go to him. At any rate, I'd recommend a holiday there (rather than staying entirely on his patch) - even if it works out fantastically, it's nice to have a hotel room for you to retreat to! Good luck. x
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