A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have had so much emotional trauma in my life for the past 2 years, father died, step father died , best friend died, mother fell, in coma in another state, had to leave work for six months, me being sick for 3 months, EX b/f who was not there for me who was a sevee alcholic but I didn't realize how bad - found it he was taking medication to stop him from drinking and had emotional abused me but I did not realize it just thgought I was so depressed from everything. Anyway I was very very weak and not myself almost like a breakdown. I met this great guy whom I loved then and still love him. I just wasn't ready too much baggage and stress for me but especially for him in a new relationship. I am now back to myself and he is back in my life but he says as best buddies. I do want something more and perhaps he does too since he really loved me. He has been there whenever I have needed him. the question is; Do you tink he was giving me the space I needed to get strong again? It was extremely stressful for us and he has enough stress in his own life. It was really a hard time esp. with a new relationship. But I do want to be with him and feel that he wants to be with me. Typically, when a man from my past wants to be friends it has always meant he wants me back. Would this guy be any different? Or should I just move on? It is hard for me to move on since I love him. he has not had a g/f since me, infact according to his cousin he hasn't called inayone g/f for a very long time. Any suggestions on what to do? I really do not want to be hurt. yes I know we shoud talk about this but I feel that it is too soon. Or should I just move on and say bad timing and let a man who I have never felt love like this about go?
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a break, best friend, cousin, depressed, emotionally abusive, hasn't called, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Talk about it. You've overcome a lot of trauma over a short period of time. Do you really want to add a "what if", wondering and realizing all you had to do was ask? At least you'll know what he wants. Don't move on without knowing. If you ask and it's not going to be, you can move on knowing. Don't be worried about your friendship. A friendship like this is better than not being friends. It sounds like if you two are not ready for a relationship, you're friendship will still be. I hope all works out for you. Take care.
A
female
reader, malibugirl  +, writes (20 July 2009):
I think counselling if you are not there already could be really helpful to you to support what you want out of relationships. I think it could give you the space you need to discuss what to do objectively. men are usually straight forward and you can take them at face value. Chances are if he says he just wants to be best buddies, that's all he wants. You need to decide, can you be friends or will it be too difficult and will it wreck your head and send you into more emotional turmoil. I think if you do really like him, it could be worth stating how you feel, nothing ventured, nothing gained, if you ask a question you have to be prepared for the answer, whichever way it goes!! Best of luck with it!
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