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My life turned upside-down as people consider me as an attractive girl and I was rejected by a not so good-looking person.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Friends, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2011)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have met this person in my university. He's not in my institute but still we met in the university canteen where he was campaigning about some event. We met twice or thrice. At first, there wasn't anything but after some time I felt something for him. I kknow it's strange but I started liking him. I wanted to be with him. I had his number and I texted him asking for a coffee. At first, he asked why and I said I wanted to know him. Then, he replied me in the late night about the day when he was free and we decided to meet after the two days. The next day I called him and told him that I like him. He asked me how can I like him without even knowing him. I just don't know what was happening. I don't beleive in love at first sight but it was more that just infatuation. When we met at the coffee shop, he told me that he doesn't like me the way a guy likes a girl. He asked me about my previous relationships and I told him that I had never been in any of them. He started laughing saying did I know anything about physical intimacy. I did feel bad. Just to make him like me, I told the next day that I wished to try something physical with him. He replied in affirmation. I called him and asked him why did he never cal me? He promised me that he'l cal the next day. Then we started having phone sex and I could feel that he wasn't even involved. He suddenly told me stop saying that was awkward. We started talking about other things. After that day he stopped calling me and started avoiding me. I asked him what happened that he is not interested in me. I felt bad and was feeling heart-broken as even after trying so hard I couldn't do anything. I thought that he might be thinking that i am a characterless person. My life turned upside-down as people consider me as an attractive girl and I was rejected by a not so good-looking person. I now feel that my feelings for him are very strong anf he is the one in my life. But he texted me again after many days and told me that I am a good person and wasn't just willing to play-around with me as our relationship would have never worked out. I just don't understand wwhy it wouldn't have worked out. My feelings for him are true and the only I know is that how do I overcome this as I can't force him for anything and he's probably right. I asked him to be a friend but he never replied. And I can't understand why. Now I want to move on as I know I don't have a chance with him. Help me whether I should keep trying or forget him.

View related questions: move on, phone sex, text, university

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011):

so if he was more good looking and he rejected you, you wouldn't be feeling so bad?

You don't love him. the reason you want him more after he rejected you is because your self esteem is tied up in your looks and if a less attractive person rejected you, you feel as if this means there's something very wrong with you so you're trying to get him to want you so you can see well at least a less-attractive guy didn't reject me.

get over it and re-examine your attitude toward outward appearances.

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A female reader, sha9991 United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2011):

Hi,

Firstly looks have nothing to do with anything,beauty is in the eye of the beholder,the main thing is chemistry and similiarties.

You have worn your heart on your sleeve to much,guys like the thrill of the chase,but you didn't give him a chance to chase you,cuz you chased him first! If a guy likes you he will call or text,cuz he wants to not if you keep being clingy and pushy,guys hate that(Fact) Haven't you heard the saying,everything you chase in life will ran away! This guy sounds like he just wants to friends with you and that's it!

My advice is,if you are happy to be just his friend? have some distance and don't see him as often,hang-out with other mates aswell.If you can't be just friends with him,then call time on the friendship.

I hope I have helped? All the best! :)

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A male reader, Captain Ziggy Canada +, writes (22 February 2011):

Captain Ziggy agony aunt Just because you're pretty, doesn't mean everyone will want you. Theres more depth to a person than that.

You cant change him though, he knows what he wants. Leave it alone for a while, if you're still hung up on him after a couple months, then try it again! If he's still not interested, then you will have to let it go.

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