A
female
age
22-25,
cheertink14
writes:after two years of dating and being engaged i brought my best friend down to meet him because she was going to be my maid of honor. i went to college with her and she always tried stealing my boyfriends from me so after two years of being with him i thought it was time to bring her down to meet him and to give her a second chance in our friendship(side note-she is a lesbian now). last week he told me he wanted a break just to make sure we still want to be together after this long, and i agreed with that. the next day i noticed they were getting really close and called him on it. he told me that he is interested in her and doesnt know why and he didnt know if he wants to work things out with me or if he wants to try to be with her. i fell apart after that. but they moved out and they are staying in a hotel together. the last three nights he has been staying here with me and hasnt seen her at all. he told me he was ready to fix us yesterday morning and we had a great day just like we used to but then last night he told me he still wasnt sure and wanted to talk to her to see what she thinks. i told him that was his choice but he was only allowed back if he had his stuff with him and didnt contact her again. he came back to stop by and let me know hes still trying to figure things out and im fine with that, but then he went back to her. he still tells me he loves me and he misses me so now im just confused.Basicly im wondering if i should stay around or just move on, he and i both have hope getting back together but i dont know if i should just be waiting.
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a break, best friend, engaged, fiance, lesbian, move on, moved out Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, advicebitch +, writes (27 August 2008):
I just saw this post. I hope you DROPPED BOTH OF THEM!!! Let me stress both because in too many of these situations the guys involved get off the hook with two women vying for his affection. The one who he chooses feels like she has "won" so he gets away with his bad behavior (cause hey, if you call him on it you might lose him to the other chick). I know you love this guy and right now you probably don't want to think about living without him but I guarantee you that a few months or maybe a few years down the line you will either look back on this situation with regret thinking about how you SHOULD have told your fiance to f**k off or you'll be congratulating yourself for making a decision you didn't want to make at the time but that you're SOOOOOOO happy that you did.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): I hope you've already decided to leave. If not, LEAVE!
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 with a fiance and a so called friend, sweetheart, you certainly dont need enemies. Your fiance is WAY out of line, he is treating you terribly, Get out while you still can, dont take him back, look at this as a blessing, at least you found out before you got married. I know you have children together, which will make it hard, but its better for you and the kids in the long run, how could you trust him after this, he is definitely having his cake and eating. As for your so called friend, get rid of her, you dont need someone like that in your life, she sounds jealous and out to ruin any happiness that you can have. Good luck and try to be strong.xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Ouch - this guy really knows how to mess with peoples heads. I would really try and get out of both relationships as they are welcome to each other. Find a strong friend or relative that will hold you back from becoming weak again. You don't need this guy - and do think of your sexual health. He obviously isn't.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  + ♥, writes (12 April 2008):
 Wha??
Get rid of him!
I can't believe you'd even think about taking him back.
He's having his cake and eating it. He can't have you both and just switch from time to time.
Realise that you are worth more than that and it seems to me that you have very little respect for yourself to allow him to play with you like that.
Find someone who'll treat you so much better than that!
Move on because he'll just mess with your heart over and over again until youhave no self esteem what-so-ever and you will be unhappy.
I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh, but really, you NEED to get out of there.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): This is a blessing! You know now what kind of guy your man is, he will leave you again if you ever did get married. Come on, he left you for your 'lesbian' freind. He is playing you and your letting him, no wonder he's bouncing between both of you. Dump this guy and have some self respect
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Jesus Christ! Well I'd say what the hell are you doing accepting him back in to your home after he's done such a horrible thing? He obviously sees you as some sort of doormat - he can go and have his bit on the side cause he knows you'll still be there when he gets back. This isn't love at all. He can't love you if he's willing to hurt you like this. As for your friend I would have severed all ties with her a long time ago if she's been stealing your boyfriends. He is using you plain and simple - he knows he can have the best of both worlds and sounds like he is just stringing you along with not being sure what he wants - he knows that if theres hope in your mind with maybes that he still has his foot in the door. This might all sound harsh but hun you are worth more than that after being with him for two years and being engaged, all I can say is get out now - you are lucky you didn't marry this man.
Hope you make the right choice
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