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My lesbian friend suggested we have sex before I can be her gf. Is this how it operates?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a virgin and a lesbian.

There's this girl who goes to the same college as me and she's also a lesbian. We met in our history lecture and have become tight. She's been out for 6 years and has had lots of girlfriends. She keeps telling me that she likes me bunches but wants to have sex with me before she can ask me to be her girlfriend.

I have those butterfly feelings everytime I'm with her or whenever we talk on the phone and whenever I think about her. Okay I love her but I don't want to let her take my virginity if she isn't going to ask me to be her girlfriend afterwards. I think she just wants to use me for sex. What does everyone think? Why does she have to have sex with me when we're not girlfriends yet? I never heard of having sex beforehand?

Please make sense of this ridiculous request that she told me. Thanks bunches!

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A female reader, SALLY (Mum to Lisa-Sue) Australia +, writes (4 February 2011):

Well, why don't you try cybering without a cam and then with a cam to see if you like each others techniques and then Actually HAVE SEX with her ... but Do Not Penetrate each other the first couple of times. you could masturbate and Penetrate Yourselves in front of each other the first couple of times, and then Go All The Way on The 3rd Time. This way you'ss see if You Are SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE before you Commit Yourselves and risk the Chance of Spoiling a Beautiful friendship If YOU ARE NOT Sexually Compatible.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011):

no offense but that thing you call your friend is NOT your friend. The only thing she wants from you is your cherry. She 's an idiot and she gives lesbians a bad rep. Don't have anything else to do with her. She's shitting on you and it's up to you to sock it to her by slamming your door in her face. What a nasty foul piglet that thing is.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011):

She's wack! Don't even give her an answer and cut off your friendship with. She's doesn't give a sh*t about you. All she wants to do is use you and a friend would never treat you like this. Get rid of her!

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A female reader, Fallen angel 92 United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

Personally I think she is just using you for sex if she doesn't want you without sex then she will probably only want you for the sex afterwards. Losing your virginity to someone who doesn't really care about you can't feel that great.

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A female reader, Drat001 United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

How old is this girl? It sounds like she's trying to be a sex predator. Get away from her.

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A female reader, BrownEyesGirl United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

BrownEyesGirl agony auntthats ridiculous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011):

Trust your instinct on this one...do not compromise your virginity. She sounds as if she is just looking for a good time, you have no guarantee she will commit to you.

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A female reader, anonymous105 United States +, writes (29 January 2011):

Agreed. Definitely not normal, she shouldn't ask that of you.

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (29 January 2011):

I agree with the other advice, I suspect this girl is going to hurt you if you allow her to. She's thinking of herself, and not you. Someone who genuinely wants to care about you would never say such a thing.

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (29 January 2011):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntYou are very right to be concerned.

You only get one first time time and what this girl is asking just does not make sense to me!

If she cared about you there is no reason you need to have sex with her before a relayionship!! i have never heard anything so crazy and disrespectful.

You should be in a happy relationship and feel ready and comfortable when you sleep with someone, not have to use sex to bargin a relationship.

Of course it is up to you but if it was me i would be telling this girl there is no chance and that you are so much better than this!

Good luck

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