A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been in a long distance relationship for 4 and half years now , and in 1 month I could finally move in with her and we could start our lifes together , even yesterday we were planning what car we should get etc. (she is Norwegian I am romanian)But today in about 30 minutes it all went to hell. One thing lead to another and to her saying that it's over and she doesn't love me anymore....while she was crying ... I asked her if I can come for a few days so we can discuss this together face to face and not thru skype vid call..(im romanian she's norwegian) but she won't hear of it....I think she still loves me but wants to break up with me...whenever i ask she says it's unfixable and that she doesn't want to fix it and that she doesnt love me...Ever since then (3 days ago) , I was able to make her a bit more friendly...(not deleting me from her contact lists , not removing her In A Relationship status until christmas , etc. Also once a day or once each 2 days she chats with me or comes on skype to watch a show togetherI love this girl...I can't live without her , she's my whole life , as I keep typing this I realise , words can't tell how much I love her....Please.....help....
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 It sounds to me like she could still love you, but she may fear that if she moves in with you, she may be making a mistake. She may need some more time.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (8 October 2012):
For one thing...you shouldn't move in together period if she is feeling this way. She could be second-guessing her original decision after being in the LDR for so long. Call it all off and give her some space. In fact, I would tell her that is fine. I know you have waited long enough, but pressuring someone who is already stressed about this decision is not going to help your cause. Tell her the pressure is off.
I know this is hard on you, but moving in with an overly-emotional girlfriend who really do not want to live with you will be worse. Best bet is to give her time. It's possible she's lost the emotional connection with you from the distance and is no longer sure of what she wants.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 October 2012):
 you must be in such pain... 4 1/2 years of LDR is hard and I would be crazy.... we barely made it a year.
if she is the same age as you then you two have been together through the formative teen years and as long as it was online and only seeing each other occasionally it was safe and fun...
now that you are ready to move and real life is looming she is probably rethinking this.
if you are moving for a job then do so.
if you were moving JUST for her... I'd hold off...
in fact, if she won't tell you what is wrong, then she does not want to fix it.
you may have to let her go.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 If I am honest with you I think you need to let go off her, you are living in an illusion that you can some how make her change her mind and fall in love with you, but that is just not how it works and to me it sounds like this woman has made up her mind, I can understand that at the moment you are hurt and you are in denial so you are going to keep telling yourself that you will get her to change her mind, but you are only going to keep hurting yourself, you need to accept that she does not want to be with you and end this. Maybe some space apart without any contact would be good for you both and give you both time to think, maybe give her a chance to miss you and see if that helps, but it certainly won't help trying to hold on to a relationship that is already over.
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