A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am dating my boyfriend from last two years. we met through Facebook.In the initial stage of our relationship when we were in long distance. we used to Skype everyday.. almost every day we used to do naughty stuff on video chat. Whenever we used to talk on phone we used to sex chat. It lasted for 4 months. After 4 months we met for first time..we started dating in person. On every weekend we used to sleep with each other.. this thing lasted for 8-9 months. after that we again got into long distance. Now the problem is .. he is not interested in doing naughty stuff on video chat or sex chat on phone. He says.. we had already done everything in person.. now it feels weird talking about these stuff on phone or video. these things doesn’t turn me on. But whenever we meet.. we do these stuff.. do you think it normal… or my boyfriend is losing interest in me.
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female
reader, BloggerChick  +, writes (13 July 2016):
 Been there sister... Except I didn't have sex with the guy. There's this saying I've heard quite a lot: "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Or in this case, why bother with an actual relationship when you're getting sex regardless? Basically in the beginning, it was exciting, this sexual buildup you could call it, when you guys were sex chatting and there was suspense because you hadn't had sex yet. Once you had sex the suspense was gone. You said it yourself, "He says.. we had already done everything in person" and is "not interested" in sexual chatting. Seems to me like he was for the sexual side of a relationship only, the sex basically, and now that he's had that that's all he wants. I've been involved with this kind of guy before, except the difference is, when he realised that I would not have sex with him at all, he was suddenly not interested. Personally I don't think this can qualify as a relationship, at least not on his behalf. Ever thought that maybe he's only pretending to really care about you to just get into your pants?Here's a challenge for you: put off having sex with him for say several weeks and just date. If he hangs about through that then I guess I'll admit defeat but until then... I agree with others that he may be just in it for the sex, sorry.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2016):
 From your original post it sounds like your relationship is sex based, you say it is not and you are still together, but what does he do for you now as a boyfriend? He cooked, but does he send flowers? Chocolate? Buy presents, has he made plans to visit you, for you both to be together long term? I think you like him more than he likes you, that is how I feel.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 July 2016):
 I ask because it may be relevant to your issue :
how come you are back to long distance now ? It was something inevitable, or his personal preference ?
Who visits whom and how often ? Is it always you going to him ? If so, why ?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 July 2016):
 I don't know if there's any love expressed besides the physical. Anything relationship that is based on sex can not hold a person's attention for long. If you just see each other as an outlet for sexual desire, then the connection stops whenever the deal is done. But when you have feelings for each other then you will care what makes the other happy. A long distance relationship only works when one day it won't be long distance anymore and you get married.
For me, even if I am in a serious relationship, cyber sex gets old pretty fast. I agree it was a built up because you didn't know what to expect the first time. Then when you get used to each other there's no point in imagining it. You either get together or you wait. Pretend sex is not everyone's cup of tea. Real interest is shown in how he's planning the future with you two, and not how horny he looks towards you in Skype.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat is not true. we are still in a relationship. he talks about future a lot. he is very loyal to me .. whenever i visit him he cooks for me.. he take care of me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2016): He never really had interest in you. It was all about sex.
It all built-up to getting to meet you, and having real sex.
Now that's done, and so is he.
Don't fret yourself. Let it go.
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