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My LDR boyfriend doesn't trust me

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2015)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've been dating my boyfriend a little over a year. We met online, and eventually met in person. As of right now we're LDR (long distance relationship.) again, just for a few more months. Ever since day 1, he has had trust issues. MAJOR.

At first it didn't bother me because, i thought it was cute that he cared for me that much... as time went on it got way worse, to the point where i was scared to meet him in person because he had anger management issues. I met him in person and he was NOTHING like he was online, he was so nice and no trust issues. We spent the whole summer together.. and he was like when we first met.

I have this guy friend, who i feel NOTHING towards noo feelings, just a really good friend who understands me and is there when no one else is.

We've been friends for 5+ years, and nothing has gone between us.. never done anything sexual etc. Like even thinking about doing anything sexual with him grosses me out. I have no history on cheating what so ever, never even thought of it. I love my boyfriend so much i'd do anything for him.. that i've shut out my guy friends for him, and half my life. And i'd do so much more.. i sacrifice so much for him. And i try to give him the world, as much as i know how .I reassure him .. I've done everything to proove why he should trust me. He's been cheate don multiple times in the past.. but he knows im not like that. He knows i hate cheaters, and i jsut don't know what to do. It makes me cry because i wnat him to trust me. :/

I love him so much, and i don't want to give him up.. i dont see a future without him. And we're not doing anything for valentines cause hes mad at me for talking to a guy :/ and it just breaks my heart that i do everything for him, and he still doesnt trust me.

I trust him so much i evven let him go to girls houses, i let him do ANYTHING.. heck if he slept over at a girls house i'd trust him .

He kicks girls out of his life thinking thats what i want. And thinks i should to But i dont want him to.. I trust him so much. Hes the only guy ive ever trusted like i do. And idk what to do.. :/

View related questions: met online

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntI do agree with the other aunties, that's why I advised living apart, to see if you can both live (and support yourselves) independently and have an "in person" relationship for 9+ months before assuming you could live together straight after graduating.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (15 February 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I am afraid that Aunty BimBim is quite correct. Graduating , or turning 18, does not mean automatically being able to earn and support yourself independently ( in case the r/ship does not work out and you need to get your own place / go back home FAST . Or even less it means that's a good idea just pack your bags and go join a long distance guy whom you have dated very little in person , and that you know next to nothing yet. AND, that displayed worrysome control issues- and anger management issues too ?! I huess the idea is that he is this way JUST because you are away from each other , and once you are reunited he will magically change personality and won't ever be jealous, controlling, overbearing etc....- personally I would not bet on that, I would think twice ( or thrice ) before planning my life, location and work around him, and if I should decide to go join him, I would have a good plan B , and the money to implement it.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (15 February 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI think you are being very economical with the answers to our questions because you don't want to hear our responses.

I am concerned that you are not putting much thought into how you are going to live after you turn the magical 18, from your answer I presume this means you moving to be with your LDR boyfriend, who is only 20 and already displaying disturbing instances of being controlling.

If you are determined to continue with this relationship my advise would be for you to work for 12 months or more after graduating and before you move anywhere, save the money into an account that only YOU have the details for, so that if you do decide to move away from family and friends you will at least have the cash behind you to return home when (please note I said when not if) you need to get away from him.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (15 February 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntDoes graduating mean that you will be packing up your life and moving to where he is?

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntWell, as with anyone - adults included, I advise against moving in together until spending 9+ months together without there being a long distance between you - otherwise, should you break up, one of you is stuck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he's 20. And i'm goiing to be 18 in jsut a few months which means im graduating.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (14 February 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI am also a little perplexed, how old is your LDR boyfriend, and how was he able to visit for the whole of the summer? Or you visit him for the whole summer?

Any answer that could be give would depend very much on how old your boyfriend is.

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntBefore I could respond to this, I need to know how 16 - 17 year olds are only going to be LDR for a few more months?

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