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My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2009) 16 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My latest boyfriend refuses to lick me clean after sex, is it too much to ask? It's his mess after all? All my previous boyfriend's were happy to do it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

i think the real issue, or at least part of the issue,could be the idea that it would not be forever private under any and all circumstances! people may be willing to be much more uninhibited if they could ever know for an unchangeable fact that it wouldn't ever be revealed.people often don't do some socially more taboo things for this reason,whether they admit their inherent distrust or not,and with good reason.forever is a long time not to ever bring something up to anyone at all.

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A male reader, loyal United States +, writes (20 February 2009):

Wow what is the world cuming to nowadays lol. I consider my self a beast in the bedroom but licking someone clean after ive pulled the jaguar out the garage seems a little to freakish. My suggestion would be to voice your opinion on the subject, if he says no and its really that important to you, put some bait on that fishing line and go fishing for a fresh catch..there are plenty in this Great blue sea.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009):

He shouldnt be forced into something as big as this, it is not fair if he is uncomfertable with doing something like this then you should just leave it. Also good for him for keeping strong and not giving in to it!

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

Fiona xxx agony auntI agree, that you cannot force these things on people, I don't like the sound of it either ewww.

Different people we sleep with holds different memories that you associate with that person. This is clearly something that you remember well in that respect. I suggest you look back on those sexual memories in a fond way and keep it in the past so to speak.

Each experience with a partner is different and there is little point in trying to make things different, like it was with an ex so to speak.

Just think of it in terms of sex was good with my ex because of .... plus sex is equally good with my boyfriend, but in a different way because of...

That way if you do comparisons it's in a good way and you are valuing what's good in your current situation and not wishing him to be different.

Fiona.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 February 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntSee if he would be willing to use a wet/dry vac...could be fun.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

that is disgusting! i don't blame him for not wanting to do it. would you finger yourself then suck your fingers after? you probably would, as you don't seem to think there is anything wrong in it. ew.

if he does not want to do it, you can't force him to. i suggest you use a condom or put some tissues or fem fresh wipes near to the bed! or simply take a shower together afterwards.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (16 February 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntUse a condom, problem solved. I trust that you have been checked for STDs if you have had previous boyfriends, and I expect he's likely had previous girlfriends too, so it's a good idea for him to see his doctor as well.

Once you two are both deemed disease-free by your respective doctors, then perhaps you should stop comparing him to previous boyfriends. That tends to end relationships, rather than strengthening them.

Take care!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

ah in all fairness he's a human being, not a cat. Have some respect for him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

personaly,i have never licked my cum out of anybody,or tasted it for that matter,it just dont appeal to me. that would be like me demanding that a woman licks and cleans me after ive been inside of her.if she wants to thats fine,if not,thats fine too.but its wrong as hell to compare him to your ex

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

TELLULAH agony auntHey!

Maybe you could get together with the guy who lets his dog lick his penis?? The dog I mean not the guy!!

LOL

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

Joke question...

This person needs to find some hobbies, or a partner to make her fantasies come real...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

But in reality, the mess from penetrative sex is not all his, is it? Unless of course you remain completely dry throughout. Would you want to lick him clean of the mess you make on him? Perhaps you already do. You can't force someone to do this sort of thing if he is unhappy about it- what sort of relationship is that? And as for the aunt above who says "if he really loves you he will do it", I think that is an extremely unrealistic, immature and selfish attitude. And just because other people have done it before, doesn't mean it's your current bf's thing. It's very unfair and destructive to compare him to others in this way.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

TELLULAH agony auntErgh! thats gross. I wouldnt do it either if it were expected of me. Surely its up to him if he likes it or not???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

People are different depending on so many things like how they have been brought up, likes and dislikes and so on.....

Talk it out with him first and know how feels about the issue. It's just like how other chicks like sucking the penis while others find it disgusting. Maybe he is just not used to doing it that way, thats all, NO BIG DEAL if you ask me.

good luck....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

I don't see what his problem is? I've been with my partner for over 20 years, He has licked me clean from day one each and everytime we've made love.

I suggest you put your foot down and make him realise that unless he aggrees to it, he will not be allowed inside you.

If he really loves you , he will do it.

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A female reader, Chi.Cosplay United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

Chi.Cosplay agony auntHey,

Maybe he isn't used to doing that and might feel a bit uncomftable in doing so?

I think you should talk to him about it and find out why,

maybe he does not want to because he does not like the idea of this but I am sure that if you get him to try at least once that he may change his mind, you shouldn't feel that this is a problem, everyone likes different things, he might just not be interested :)

Hope that helped in anyway

:S

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