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My last boyfriend put me down and I can't get over the things he said.

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Is there something wrong with me? I have been single now for about 3 years and in this time not one boy has asked me out it has really put me down because my last boyfriend said some really horrible stuff when we broke up and I haven't been able to get over the things that he said. What can I do to get over them?

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A male reader, gram Australia +, writes (21 March 2008):

gram agony aunthello,i was in the same situation as u are,my ex had no heart at all.what ive come to realize,is that number 1, its his opinion its not fact what he said,number 2,never listen to anyone that puts u down,degrades u or is negative towards you.chances are they wont get anywhere in life.number 3,guys like confidence in girls,as do u need to pick your confidence back up,stop self talking to yourself,like am i good enough, just stuff like that, because you are,everyone is its just the your brain and thoughts are doubting wether you are good enough.just hang around encouraging people and read some self improvement books to get your thinking right and confidence back. take care,graham

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

! get over it !there is no need for you to feel bad about yourself ,your ex was probably a jerk, dont listen to what people say people are always going to be talking , and if guys arent asking you out, its probably because you are not putting yourself out there! cut your hair,exercise and flirt!dont let any one put you down, enjoy life cause you only have one!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

Look when someone says ugly things about you don't take it personally. I mean that. When people act like that its about them, about their issues, their problems. It has nothing to do with you unless you choose to believe it. If he says, your a b@#4h and part of you believes it. Then you go around all insecure and doubting yourself. Thinking if he said that is it true? Who else thinks that? Its like poison. Don't take the poison. Don't take it personally.

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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (20 March 2008):

Realize that he had a problem if he stopped dating you. Breaking up is an emotional experience and sometimes we bite back when we realize we don't have complete control. Separate what he said in your mind. If one particular thing hurt you because you think the same about that thing, then attack it (i.e. he says your cold and you think your cold, so you try to share more) and fix the problem. Otherwise disregard what he said as a poor guy lashing out.

Best of Luck!

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2008):

starfairy agony auntThe thing is, confidence is very attractive. Guys won't be drawn towards someone who looks downtrodden, depressed, self conscious and unconfident. They want happy, smiling, shining girls.

You've got to get over what your ex said to you. He only said nasty things to make himself feel better, to feed his own insecurity.

Get yourself a new haircut, get some highlights, buy a new outfit, have a massage, be good to yourself, take care of yourself, get happy in yourself, and the guys will be lining up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

Honey, listen to me, there's nothing wrong with you at all. You're my age, you've got your whole life ahead of you, and I'm sure you're a wonderful girl with some great assets. Don't let this awful guy get to you! Often when a relationship breaks down, you say things you don't mean. Horrible things, just to hurt your ex's feelings. I'm sure he was just being spiteful and tried to hurt you.. I know, its so mean of him, but you've got to remember thats all in the past. Everybody has someone they're destined to be with, someone that thinks they're perfect no matter what, someone that will stand by them forever. So my advice to you is to go out and start looking for him. Meet new guys, help yourself move on relationship-wise. It'll make you feel better :] you can't let what happened so long ago get to you, especially when it was all said in the heat of the moment. You've got a great future ahead of you, so why not start it now :] good luck honey.

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