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My kids' father left 15 years ago and now he's back and in love w/ me. But he feels bad asking his current lover to move out!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2007)
A female age , anonymous writes:

My 2 childrens father walked out on us 15 years ago and on Nov 7, 2006 came back into our lives. He owns a home and has a woman and her son (18yrs old)living with him. Not far from where we live. He says they are not happy and we have connected again and realize we truly love each other. Now today, Jan 4th,2007 he says he just can't bring himself to ask her to move out, he feels sorry for her. He pays for everything for her and her son and never gave us a dime all those years. He has been telling me for the past 2 months how much he loves me and wants us to be a family again. My kids are 18yr boy and 15 yr girl. He has told my son that he is going to move her out and we will be a family. Now I feel betrayed again. Should I wait it out and see if he comes through or let it go now. He is definietly the greatest love of my life and I have totally forgiven him for the past. Help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007):

take it slow. he may be into it for the sex. if he does love you he wont have a problem about the other woman, beleave me when a man is done with a woman he is done, after all its been 15years and you have children with him, think about that. he had no problem dumping you and the kids, if he did he didnt show it . did he stay in connect with you and the children , did he pay surport, what about birthdays ,holidays ,and how do the children feel they are a big part of your life , please dont be a fool.tell him to dump her and maybe you will date him, make him chase you ,men love the chase and the only reason men cheat is caues we let them do it, dont be so avabile to him . you have a life and kids , love does hurt

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A female reader, Reebe United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2007):

Reebe agony auntOh dear!

Please be sure this guy is serious about you again, and is not just looking for the easy way out!

The only thing i can sujest is to talk to him tell him your serious about your future with him and you will not tolerate him doing anything like this again.

Maybe if the currant lover moved out first and you tried a few dates and got to know each other all over again, not just rush into living together straight away. I'm sure taking it slow and steady will work best all round!

Good Luck!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 January 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntNever gave you a dime for all those years? And you have totally forgiven him for it? Wow, you are better person than I am that's for sure! However, I certainly would put my foot down and tell him to piss or get off the pot. If he keeps stringing you along, cut the string. You don't need to be duped by him twice. Good luck to you.

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A female reader, kath +, writes (4 January 2007):

kath agony aunti can relate to your cry for help, i to got left 16 years ago and back with the love of my life and yes we got/have difficulties. my addvice to you would be to tell him how you feal and if he starts the ball rolling then just make sure it dont stop before its reached the finish line if he dont then you have loved and lived without him for years.

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