A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:I have a question I'm very self conscious and vunreable and I dont know how to snap out of it. A little backround on meI;m 24 yrs old. skinny, many ppl say i should model big breasts, I have a graduate degree, and currently employed. I just got out from a 5yr (emotionally abusive) relationship and am looking to explore the world.One problem, i feel so INSECURE, it eating me alive. I constantly want to buy buy buy clothes makeup to cover myself up and make myself look like this other person that ppl can LOVE. I have a graduate degree but i never feel as good as the ppl in the suits in the financial district I walk alongside of . I never feel good enough, and thats y i got the graduate degree to feel "good ebough" cause everyone in my family is engeneers and chemists, or accountants. Even with men i feel so vunrable, the last one called me fat, even though i am 120lbs and 5'3 and other mean things.Hoa can i break this cycle, I feed my insecurrities with expensive things. I buy 1000 dollar handbags just to look professional and feel superior, but in reality i feel so low. I feel that no matter what i buy how many degrees i get, and how prettier i get(makeup hair extensions etc) this feeling of NOT ENOUGH, never goes away..Has anyone felt this way? It feels so lonely walking down the street ppl look at this beautiful object, but inside i feel so alone... I have a psychiatrist but he doesnt help, and I dont know if I can afford therapy..or even if that is a good option i tried 3 sessions and i walked out the lady kept repeating herself..does anyone have any advice or has gone through similar situations????
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 make improvements to yourself in ways that really matter to YOU not to make yourself look better on the outside. be a friend, be a helpful to your family, make it so that other people realise how good you are on the inside, do something for charity maybe. the insecurity you are feeling now is normal after you have gotten out of an abusive 5 year relationship. work on this with your psychiatrist i am sure you will get there in the end! it is good that you recognise your feelings. some people are empty and shallow but they are fine with that and they just transfer the bad feelings onto other people (maybe your ex was someone like that?) you care enough to want to change, so you are part way there already
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A
female
reader, alexia846 +, writes (29 April 2011):
alexia846 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks i.m not materialist i didnt mean to come across of it as that but it seems that no matter what degree i get, what i buy, who i see, nothing ever feels COMPLETE
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A
male
reader, tetsuoii  +, writes (29 April 2011):
Why do you fret? There's obviously nothing seriously wrong with you, and you just need to give yourself a break. I think your main problem is that you are superficial and materialist. Nothing wrong with that, those are important and useful traits - but you need to find some balance.Your mentality of comparing yourself to your peers can be turned around to your advantage; just compare them to something even better, and you will see that none of them won't reach the history books either. In fact success is not always a blessing, so why crave it? Focus on what's real, not just perceived status - try to be useful, truthful and work for the greater good - you will be a lot happier. Give yourself some slack (without sacrificing personal hygiene). I can totRead books, travel,
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