A
female
age
51-59,
confused in WVa
writes:My husband of 9 months has suggested the idea of wanting to watch me have sex with another man, or having a mfm threesome. My husband and his x-wife had this kind of sexual relationship and he said it brought them closer together sexually. Fantasy's are ok with me, and I know my husband loves me. The question in my mind is WHY would he want me to be touched sexually by another? I want to please my husband, but am afraid that it would ruin our marriage, or emotionally destroy me. My husband isn't pushing the idea, and says that if I decide to keep it a fantasy that he would respect my decission. Is he really going to be satisfied with just me?Please help.
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sex with another, threesome Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): my bf also told me his fantasy about him wanting to see me having a threesome... mfm.. reading all your advise made me wanna cry... i must say my bf is honest to me but i stand on my foot and say no.. i don need to use another human to make me feel good. he doesnt force me although now i just bear and listen to his pathetic stories and dreams of me in his mind.. i must say i have 'hiv' in his mind! well... i feel you babe... be strong...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I am chinese and had the same experience.however I agreed to this crazy idea to please hubby. he was really excited and I felt not bad at my first time. The guy was one of his best friends and they were nice and did much foreplay .Hubby promised that was the first and also the last time. but I can say now I have done over 30 times mmf since my hubby could not stop. He even can not be satisfied with me sexually only. I am now in great pain also. I regret much having joined mmf , my husband was my first man but why he non stop inviting friends to enjoy me?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I am chinese and had the same experience.however I agreed to this crazy idea to please hubby. he was really excited and I felt not bad at my first time. The guy was one of his best friends and they were nice and did much foreplay .Hubby promised that was the first and also the last time. but I can say now I have done over 30 times mmf since my hubby could not stop. He even can not be satisfied with me sexually only. I am now in great pain also. I regret much having joined mmf , my husband was my first man but why he non stop inviting friends to enjoy me?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Hi, I am facing the exact same dilemma. I did not agree to it, and he accepts it but he says he is not fully satisfied with our sex life. I worry that he will do it anyway, with me excluded
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): If there is a doubt in your mind that this could ruin you emotionally then it already has and sure it can. Don't question yourself on this and keep to your standards of not particpating in this idea of your husbands if it bought him and his X wife so much closer together why is she his X wife. Why because it played a part in ruining their marriage, yes I know you're saying I don't have the rest of the details of their marriage but sex is a spritual gift from God and it is major and our emotions. How we react to things, that insprires us. I say don't do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): I think having a threesome is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things I've ever done. You're doubling your pleasure. Two sets of hands. Two sets of manhood.
As long as you both agree then go for it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): In the same boat, I just don't feel like it is our thing, I also feel that there shouldn't be any guilt for it or pressure. Husband or boyfriend, there shouldn't be any force to do that (MFM, FMF) or threaten of love, if there is..it ISN'T love.
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A
female
reader, lemontree  +, writes (4 November 2007):
I know we're all different, but I don't understand where the love is in all this. For me, there are two distinct sign of love: (1) when nobody else will do (2)you can be in a crowd, yet not notice anyone other than your lover. If you love him, why would you want to make love to anyone else?. If he loves you, how could he tolerate seeing you with someone else. What you do sexually, as a consenting adult is entirely up to you, but think abput tghe love angle
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (3 November 2007):
 I'm glad you are sticking to your guns hun :)
xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, x-Mischief-x +, writes (1 November 2007):
 well my advice is dont do anything you dont want to do its your choice it could bring you together but he should love you and i think you should have sex with him rather then other men but if he still wants to try that idea of him and you dont want to just tell him xx good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Hi Hun,
you said your husbands ex did this and it brought them closer sexually, Why if you love someone would you need someone else to satisfy you by satisfying your wife who's already satisfyed and happy the way things are, And it cant have brought them that much closer as he is with you, And wanting a third person involved again. Im a selfish cow to, My mans mine and im his and thats the way I will always see this.
Id be thinking there was a serious problem with my new husband if he wanted this hunny, fantasys are just that and opening a can of worms will only be the outcome for you as you will not have the same respect for him after he has watched some other man touching his wife, How could you, well It would change my feelings for my man just as quick as snaping my fingers...
This does ruin relationships unless your an agreeing partner both up for it 100% Hope this helps a little TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, confused in WVa +, writes (1 November 2007):
confused in WVa is verified as being by the original poster of the question Update! Thanks to all who posted their answers to my question. I have decided to stick to my guns and not do something against my nature. Old fashioned? YEPPER! Proud of it too. Just needed other's oppinions to put my worries at rest. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (1 November 2007):
It's not down to whether he will just be satisfied with just you hun. If it is then he shouldn't be with you.
If you really feel that you couldn't handle this then don't do it. Too many couples hop in to bed with a third party and think it's going to be ok when it really really isn't.
I won't have a threesome with my guy + another girl, not because I dont trust him, but what it would do to my head to see him with someone else. If that makes me selfish and a cow for wanting my guy to myself then fine I'm a cow and I'm selfish.
Talk to your partner about how you feel, really feel about this. I think your partner will respect your decision, especially if you explain that you only want to be touched by him. Talk to him about other things you could bring in to your sex lives, rather then another person.
Good Luck :)
xxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Confused in WVa (that's a given isn't it? - just kidding).
I totally agree with Waterloo Sunset. I don't get it. I think if I were a woman and my husband wanted a threesome with another man, I'd be headin' out the door - fast. Didn't you have an inkling as to his predilection before you were married? Was his first wife really O.K. with this, or is that why she is his ex-wife?
Stick to your guns and don't do anything you don't want to do.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Hello WVA.
I believe this is a dangerous road you are going down, a fantasy is one thing but the reality is another, i can see your concerns about this event, and you are justified to have your doubts, i personally cannot see why he is trying to ruin your marriage, by asking you to take the burden of this stress,I think that you should not engage in this event it will only come back to haunt you at a later stage, he told you that he and his ex did the same thing and it brought them closer together, if that were the case why did she divorce him.
Games are OK if both party are of the same mind and you are clearly not, i dont think you should do this, just to please your husband after all it is you who will have to live with the shame and guilt afterwards.
Hope this will help you,please make the right decision, the one that makes you the happiest, good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): It maybe brought them closer together sexually BUT it didnt save their marriage. I personally think that once in a marriage it should be about 2 people loving each other and sharing their life together. I also think that you should go by your instincts and that he married you so hopefully he should be satisfied with just having you for the rest of his life. If he isnt happy with your decision then you are better off without him. Im all for trying out new things but he should of went through all his fantasies etc before he committed himself to marriage x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): the only answer i can offer is if in doulbt say no, i do believe that these kind of fantasies can ruin relationships therefore if you go ahead proceed with caution!!
Good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I can never understand why some people want threesomes or anything like that. I feel you should put your foot down and say no without worrying about the outcome. If him and his ex did it then so what, that was then and this is now. You are not the same person as her. If he loves you then he will not force the issues, be content with the fantasy and not ask anymore about it happening in the future. Be strong and firm and dont do it just to please him, or divorce will be on the horizon.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, SeanJohn +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Too many things wrong here...
1st Newly married. Early days to test the relationship with something as emotionally trying as a threesome MFM.
2nd Alarm, his EX-WIFE....why? Threesomes cause misunderstandings if not handled well. Cause breakups.
3rd Most important. You are not 100% excited/wanting to do it. To do a threesome both partners must be excited and want the MFM.
Dont do it if you have doubts and the only reason for you want to do it is to please your husband. Do it for your own reasons or not at all.
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