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My husband says he loves me but he is verbally abusive, sees me just once a month and cares more about my family than he does about me

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Alright, something has been bothering me lately it's about my marriage. I don't know if my husband really loves me or he is just faking it. he tells me he loves me but there are things he does that makes me wonder if he really does. He always find Something bad about me and makes it a big deal. For example I asked him about some documents awhile I just asked how the docs were, I didn't question his way of doing or processing them, he suddenly raised his voice at me like I did something bad to him. I asked where those docs because they are important for our business. He said I pissed him off and he called me names like bitch, hoe. btw, we only see each other every month.

Oh One more thing, I appreciate the fact that he is close to my family but there are some instance that I feel like he prioritizes them more than me. for example when I invite him to go out, he asked about what my family says about it if they wanna come too, if they have some plans too. didn't even think of spending his time with me after not swing each other after a month. my family's words versus my words to my husband its either theirs or he will have to think about it. I find it unusual because I see my friend's husbands they are so not like that. They are being prioritized or something. why is my husband like that? Am I the problem here? Is he faking his feelings for me? Why is he pleasing my family more than he pleases me? what is his motives? why does he care more about what my family has to say more than how I, his wife would feel?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

We can't really say why he is doing any of this, and he probably can't either. This is not normal at all. He doesn't love you and it seems he is with you for financial reasons which may be why he is closer to your family. Are they helping him and including him in a business? Take back your power and boot him out of any role in your financial well being. Your family is very stupid if they don't back you up in this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

hi! thanks for your advice. I just wanna ask something, what do you think the reason why my husband considers my family more than me? why is it that he always wanna please them more than he pleases me? I really feel like it's weird. do you think he has some other motives or am I just analyzing it Way too much?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

NO this is not normal. NO his treatment of you is not healthy. No other men are not like this. No he doesn't respect you or treat you with kindness and love.

YES you should get counseling by yourself and separate couples counseling with him. NO you should not make any children with him. Your father should have a talk with him. If it continues, LEAVE and divorce him.

This is not a normal marriage at all.

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