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My Husband Reads Erotic literature

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Pornography, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2014) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I just happened to see my husband's browsing history while searching for a file . He seems to be reading erotic stories involving incest between mother and son .. This is the second time I ve seen him read this topic of erotic literature .. The first time I just let it go since I thought it was just a guy thing .. I'm a bit concerned now .. Can some men clarify if this needs to be discussed or is it just a harmless guy thing .. Btw he watches occasional porn like once a month or so and he is normal otherwise ..

Thank you

View related questions: incest, porn

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014):

I can understand people being bothered about porn because those actors are real somewhere. Literature is text. So whatever he is doing it's his mind, at least he's not looking at a picture of someone who's real somewhere.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntI had to laugh at th"is normal otherwise" comment as if he has joined a fringe group of not normal wierdos or something. Deep breath, he's as normal as they come.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014):

Its nothing to be concerned about. I too, am extremely turned on by incest novels. I think it's entirely about The taboo aspect of it.

There's something very arousing about going where you're not suppose to. I can tell you right now that its not a reflection of how I feel about my mother. I accidently saw my mom naked once and I couldn't masturbate for at least a month until I could get the mental image out of my head.

I just know it's about being somewhere that everyone says is wrong because I have no sort of attraction to any of my family memners.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for the clarification .. I was just worried if the mother thing is a bit weird will let it slide by .. Thank you

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIt's fantasy. And maybe this is one of his favorite taboos, not because he wants to have sex with his mother, but because it's "forbidden", "wrong", "naughty" - apparently, incest ranks pretty high on the erotica list, as in it's highly popular. Part of the attraction is the "illegal" aspect of it. And the whole, I would never do THAT! plays a part too.

But PLEASE do remember that that, it is acceptable to keep a fantasy to himself. Surely your fantasy world is your own private mental domain and yours to disclose as you chose. IF he hasn't DISCLOSED it to you, don't go dig or pry.

The best comparison I can give you is... It's like heterosexuals who can enjoy gay porn without HAVING to try it. It's SO different from what they are used to and what they enjoy, but it makes their body react.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (2 September 2014):

Ciar agony auntThis is not a 'guy thing'. Many men and women read erotic literature.

This is not something that needs to be discussed. Perfectly normal (assuming the literature is not about raping or killing children or animals or something).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2014):

I don't think this is anything to be overly concerned about as long as the relationship isn't being affected and you trust that he isn't going to cheat. Reading erotica that is based on taboos such as incest doesn't normally mean that they would like to act it out in real life even think about doing something like that themselves. Have you ever read any erotica? maybe the two of you could talk about the type of erotica you both like (without any criticism). I think that talking about your likes in a positive way could help break down any walls and put you both at ease about the whole situation. x

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntMost men prefer porn in visual ways vs erotica. Women tend to go for the erotica more than the film.

If it's not spilling over into real life and it's not impacting on your sex life negatively then I would just let it go and know that's his choice.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntEveryone has fantasy from time to time. I's no big thing!People get all bent out of shape over porn. Why? It's such a dumb thing to fret about.

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