A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together 9 years, and recently married. Pretty much right up to the point we got married, any purchase on our shared account was discussed and we were both able to get things we needed/wanted. We just moved to a new house and it has really gone downhill money-wise. For example, when he wants to drop money for surround-sound, a brand new television, two new gaming systems with plenty of games and the like, we have all the money in the world. As soon as I bring up getting something such as a birthday present for my mum or a new sewing machine because the old one is bad, he goes on a rant about how I'm selfish and I only ask for things for myself and its our money, not mine. How do I handle it? Am I just being selfish? Does he have a point? What do I do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (3 October 2015):
 I think you need your own money. If this means getting a job then fine, do that. If you already work then open your own bank account. Clearly a dialogue is needed here. Do you think that is possible? I guess you are writing in because it isn't.
You need to be financially independent.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2015): You both should sit down & set a budget.
Talk about your bills & what needs to be put into savings & investments first, then set an amount for each of you to spend after those things are done.
You should open two new bank accounts (can be joint or individual) specifically for this, and have money transferred from your shared bill-paying account to each of your "fun-money" accounts on a monthly, or even weekly basis. Then you will each have a fair share of the discretionary income to spend as you like, and you do not have to ask permission from the other person to spend your own allowance.
Hope this helps, best of luck!
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