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My husband of 7 years asked me to put my finger in his butt during sex... Does that make him gay?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *limadwalt writes:

My husband of 7 years ask for me to put a finger in his butt when i go down on him and his favorite position is doggy style does this make him gay?????

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A female reader, Negrita United States +, writes (15 December 2009):

I thought I was the only one gooing through this!!! I'm going through a hard time in my marriage and hopefully a little spunk in my sex life will help!!!

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A male reader, porrasa Canada +, writes (12 June 2009):

why do you say that. with all the news about anal sitmulation on men through their anus. ha asked you not a man. now hold on if i throw the question back at you, if you asked a women to put a finger up your vagina does that make you a lesbian?

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A male reader, previasc96 United States +, writes (19 August 2008):

He probably found out that anal insertion can be a plus for a guy and he wants to try it with you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

i noticed my boyfriend doing it to himself during foreplay, and i was feeling particularly open so i decided to (no pun intended) take the plunge... he loved it! I agree with India-- it's fun if you're open to it, and it can take your sex life to a whole new level... why don't you ask him to try out one of your fantasies now?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

As said: No! If he was gay, he would probably never ask you this question to be honest.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (11 December 2007):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntA lot of men like it. Causes them to cum harder.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (11 December 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey there,

This doesn't make your boyfriend gay in the least! This makes him a hole lot of fun and maybe a little kinky, but that's all good right? Sex can be adventurous and wild... have a little fun.

For men, in the bum is where the prostate is located. This is also known as the male g-spot, and it drives 'em wild. A lot of guys don't want to explore action in the butt because they THINK it will make them gay, or their afraid, or just too conservative, but the reality is - it's amazing and feels great (and doesn't make you gay in the least. The only thing that makes you gay is having feelings for men. Period.)

For you (if you decide to venture there), make sure your finger is nice and lubricated, and be gentle. It's pretty cool, you can feel his prostate get really hard right before he orgasms...

My boyfriend LOVES this. It's not an every night thing, but it's a "when-we're-feeling-raunchy" thing. I swear it's fun... be open to it!

Have fun, sweetness,

xxIndia

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A female reader, hit-the-road,jack... United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2007):

maybe he just wants to experiment and see what it feels like?

and amybe he loves doggy style just because its the position that feels best to him, not cos hes gay.

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A male reader, JohnR United States +, writes (10 December 2007):

JohnR agony auntI think it makes him very experimental and open about sex with you. I don't personally ever want to try that, but, and long as it's you (a female) doing that, I guess it could be part of expanding your sex life together. If he ever asks you to put on a strap-on though, I would run like hell and get him a subscription to better homes and gardens :)

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntHe isnt gay the fact he is still having sex with you should prove he isnt, he is just trying something new experimenting so dont worry

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A female reader, Blooregard +, writes (10 December 2007):

No, your guy may have his kinks but that certainly does not prove he is gay. If I were you I would not ask him that question as it may spring to his mind the next time you two are having sex and make things awkward!

My advice is to not read so much into it, don't worry :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

Ummmmm, nooooo, don't think so, really why would you ask such a question? The only thing that would make him gay is if he preferred having sex with men instead of you....he just happens to have some preferences where sex is concerned when having it with you......so put your neurotic worries to bed....and enjoy your husband.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (10 December 2007):

Yos agony auntNot at all. Quite a few (completely-straight) guys like this. Men have something called a prostate, that gets stimulated if you stick your finger in there. That is a big turn-on and feels really good for some. Just watch your fingernails (and general hygene).

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A female reader, jamiexox United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2007):

jamiexox agony auntalot of men prefer doggy style to any other position, y beats me but you just get on with things, my boyfriend enjoys anal sex as well, and would ask me mainly while being drunk to do it. I dont think this makes him gay, probably just curious as they get an intence orgasim from doing so, he has prob just heard the lads talking about it and their experience and decided to give it a shot, i wouldnt worry

xxx

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