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female
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sarah6116
writes: I am married to a military man. He happens to be stationed in Korea where he has been the last six months. We were doing really well at first. We would talk on the phone and the webcam as often as possible. I even went out there to visit for three weeks. Now he hardly calls me. I've told him that my time talking with him is really important to me and that I feel like he isn't trying anymore. He gets angry and tells me how he hates being there and he just wants to come home. How he wants me to stop pushing him and it's not a problem with us. But if it's not a problem with us, why won't he talk to me about it? I feel like I am losing him and he doesn't even care. I go out of my way to wake up early and call before he goes to bed. I stay home from work so he can see me on the webcam. I feel like I am doing everything I can and I don't know what else to do anymore.
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female
reader, confused3473  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 Hi babes
I too am going out with a army guy He is the best guy that i have ever met in the world It is so hard when he is away but as it is his job he is busy and unlike me he doesnt have constant remders of me around
At one point even driving to mcdonalds reminded me of him He cant always contact me as he his working plus he misses home and im sure talking to me just reminds him of how far away he is After talking to him i can feel very upset as it brings home the realisation that he is away Im sure he can feel the same
Maybe this is why he doesnt contact you He realises how much it hurts after he has spoken to you It re opens the wounds He may think its easier not to call and not have the feelings He could just want to try to power through his service and see you when he gets back
I know how hard it is I feel like my heart is breaking a lot of the time
Send me a private message if you wanna chat some more I hope i can help
A
male
reader, martini  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 Sometimes, guys as with some women have problems on the side that affect our mood, and this causes us to withdraw. It's not that we don't love our woman or our man anymore, that we don't call them more. It's because the amount of stress we get, coupled with staying at a foreign country, missing home so greatly, and the thing is that it's not also that we don't want to tell you, but it feels like everyone is pushing us into some corner. Even though you do not intend it to be that way, it just feels that way.
Sometimes, the occasional letter, email, or postal box of photos from his family reminds him of why he is serving abroad. Gives him the comfort and inner refuge of knowing there is someone back home waiting for him. Instead of needing him to call you every day or see you on the webcam so often.
He wants you to be strong, emotionally and spiritually. You are the wife of a military man. It's hard enough that he doesn't get the physical and emotional comfort he needs in such a place.
There is a Chinese saying, "Sometimes doing too much is not doing anything at all." 8]
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