A
female
age
51-59,
wolfspirit
writes:hi, i need advice, my husband of 1 1/2 yrs but been together for 3 1/2 yrs is a control freak,moody,and a very quick nasty temper(doesn't hit all verbal) when we meet he knew i had a teenage daughter which he got along with, now he hates her and tells her to her face can't wait for you to move out at 16yrs old,he gets mad over everything then doesn't talk to you for weeks at a time, doesn't want me to go anywhere with or without him,i have to everything for him even if i'm sick but never has to do a thing for me(he says), he fogot our 1st anniv., won't give birthday presents and told us last christmas last time we have christmas in this house its a waste of money and time,he has taken and used all my money now i have nothing,i even gave up everything i had including the rest of my family to move to his home country now i feel stuck here because of the money, i will take any help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): I understand your feelings. But you have a daughter to protect and your husband is an adult that needs to behave like one. Regardless of the problems your daugher might bring to the marriage, he is the adult here. If he truly loves you, then he must, if not love, protect your daughter. Please LEAVE this abusive situation, do it for your own dignity but specially for you daughter, she only has you to protect her. Maybe later, when your daughter is on her own you can work and re-constructing your live with him, alone or somebody else. Today I am doing the same. My husband hates my daughter and I am packing to leave the house and be re-united with my 16 year old daughter. He can kiss my ass. Please do the same.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Please don't let a man disturb your peace of sanity, it is selfish of you to stay in an abusive and controlling relationship. Think of your daughter, seek for your family for help or friends. Your husband knows you are helpless, show strength
your daughter needs to see that you are a strong women and nobody should tolerate such awful treatment from another human being Do it for your daughter!!! Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, asgoodasitgets +, writes (8 October 2007):
Hi i do so understand what you are going through i have a fifteen year old daughter whom my husband has barley spoken two words to since january if he does it is just to pick her up on every little thing. i hate my situation i keep thing it will change but it i am still waiting. he has an alright relationship with my son who is fourteen but he is adamant that my daughter is out of control when we sit at the table he blanks her as if she is not there ots got to the point where the kids won't even come in the same room as us i feel as i'm stuck i love him but hate him for what he is doing but feel i can't leave because he holds all the finances to everything. I do tell my daughter I love her and that it's not her but she hates me now because I am so weak I sit with jim every night as if i sit with them it makes him worse, I think my daughter hates me for not standing up for her but loves me to.
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A
female
reader, asgoodasitgets +, writes (8 October 2007):
Hi i do so understand what you are going through i have a fifteen year old daughter whom my husband has barley spoken two words to since january if he does it is just to pick her up on every little thing. i hate my situation i keep thing it will change but it i am still waiting. he has an alright relationship with my son who is fourteen but he is adamant that my daughter is out of control when we sit at the table he blanks her as if she is not there ots got to the point where the kids won't even come in the same room as us i feel as i'm stuck i love him but hate him for what he is doing but feel i can't leave because he holds all the finances to everything. I do tell my daughter I love her and that it's not her but she hates me now because I am so weak I sit with jim every night as if i sit with them it makes him worse, I think my daughter hates me for not standing up for her but loves me to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): Hi i do so understand what you are going through i have a fifteen year old daughter whom my husband has barley spoken two words to since january if he does it is just to pick her up on every little thing. i hate my situation i keep thing it will change but it i am still waiting. he has an alright relationship with my son who is fourteen but he is adamant that my daughter is out of control when we sit at the table he blanks her as if she is not there ots got to the point where the kids won't even come in the same room as us i feel as i'm stuck i love him but hate him for what he is doing but feel i can't leave because he holds all the finances to everything. I do tell my daughter I love her and that it's not her but she hates me now because I am so weak I sit with jim every night as if i sit with them it makes him worse, I think my daughter hates me for not standing up for her but loves me to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): I feel for you. I have a 13 yr old daughter who my husband argues about and gets in her face for every little thing. Makes fun of her and teases her when I am not around. He accuses us of being in Kahoots behind his back - being against him. It's not true. He's very controlling, verbally abusive. I am going to seek counseling for myself and I have prayer partners through the internet and by phone when a conflict or problem arises. Also, I stay in contact with family by phone. At this time, I don't tell them how mean he is, but just to know they are there for me and would accept me back if I ever needed help. My heart cries because I really want to be an example to my daughter. Thankfully she's stronger than I but I don't want her to go through what I'm going through. Just have an open line of communication with your daughter and constantly let her know how loved she is - how valuable she is and that obviously Dad has a problem and needs help. If he is crazy unreasonable and very threatening you must find a way to get out. Even get intouch with Domestic Violence agency to privatly place you somewhere without his knowledge and go from there. The man has the issues and this needs to stop - it's not a normal, loving life.
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A
female
reader, wiggles +, writes (27 April 2007):
 hi wolfspirit....
to acknowledge these serious probs your experiencing is the first step to dealing with them but first you need to ask yourself are you ready to deal with them,i can fully empathise with what your going through as i have been there myself, i would like to ask you a couple questions if you dont mind before i can give you my own advice to hopefully free yourself from this bully....
you say you came to he's home country to be with him, where r u originally from?
and has he always been this way towards you from the start ?
please keep strong cos with all the good advice from everyone on here it should hopefully guide u to happiness for you and your daughter.... x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007): Hun, you need to get out of this marriage. It is destroying you and your daughters life. She is too young to go through this. This is certainly not healthy for both of you. i am really sorry that you both have to go through this. End it as soon as you can.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): hi there i have to agree with the other post on here. although it can be very scary it will also be very liberating aswell getting your life back for you and your daughter. she is still only young and to be told she isnt wanted must be devestating to her and to see her mom going through this mental torture cant be good for her. i no its the last thing you want to do but go home to the people that really care for you. please dont worry about the money you can always get it back when hes not there to take it from you, what you need now is lots of tlc and loving from people who can support you and look after you. you need to be strong for you and your daughter now and show her that you dont have to be treated like a doormat that you can be happy on your own and just cause your on your own it doesnt make you lonley just a strong minded lady that respects herslf more than her husband did
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (26 April 2007):
 You need to take your life back. Your daughter is more important than this man, and so is your happiness for that matter. You say all this bad stuff about him, I think you've answered your own question and you just want other people to help you along to go through with it. He's obviously taken a lot of your self esteem away and you need to get rid of him and get it back.
I hope you have the courage to do this, you don't just have yourself to think about now, there's your daughter too. You're not stuck anywhere, you can go home to the people who love you and start a new and happier life there.
I know it seems scary and really difficult to do this but I think you have to. You'll get all the support you need but you need to look within you and find the strength to take your life back.
Good luck
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