A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I found out earlier this week off a good friend (female) of mine that my husband was having an affair with my mother. She said that she'd seen my husband passionately kissing my mother outside a well-known pub and whispering into her ear how sexy she was, and the two of them were laughing at each other's jokes. She said she'd heard them say about the affair going on for the past 6 months.I confronted my husband about this, and rather than deny it, he admitted the affair, and said he'd only married me so he could get access to her! He said it was an alcohol-induced passionate affair.My husband used to be so loyal to me, and romantic and loving, but this affair seems weird to me. I thought I loved him, now I'm not sure if I can even trust him again.Then I confronted my mum about this, and she said he made her feel "frisky as hell", and loves it. I asked her how it started, and she said it happened when having a few glasses of wine and that she loves him.I feel so disgusted about this and angry. I haven't told my dad yet, as he's currently gone abroad to Canada to see an old friend of his.How can I cope with this and what should I do?? (apart from maybe divorcing him)Suzanne
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affair, kissing Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Main Man +, writes (6 May 2009):
 If you haven't done already talk to your solicter about either a tral separation or a divorce. He has been unfaithfull to you with your mother. Who will it be next your sister (if you have any) or your girlfriends. Alcohol is no excuse for him cheating on you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): Kick him to the curb, and your Mom , too. Some lines one doesn't cross -- this line isn't even close to center court. You're young: Find someone who will treat you better than this -- it won't be difficult to find someone who will treat you better than he did, at all!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 January 2009):
 Wow, I would be super disgusted and get a divorce asap. No trying to work anything out. What an odd situation. I'm sorry you have ended up in it. Also I would pretty much stop talking to your mom, what a greedy woman, she's married but she snagged her son-in-law too?
There isn't anything for you in that relationship. He's a himbo with cougar tendencies..
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A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (31 December 2008):
 DIVORCE!!! i'd divorce them both if i could. they've both betrayed you and your father terribly. never see that man again and your mother needs to make a choice about who is more important to her. you or him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): I can't imagine what you must be going through! To be betrayed by your husband, is devistating enough, but your own Mom? No ,No, No !!!!! Not even cool! There is absolutely no excuse imaginable that anyone, even at their best, would cover this one! I am sooooo sorry for what you must be feeling. Don't take this from him! They can't even begin to understand what they've done! Inexcuseable!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, DearCassy +, writes (30 December 2008):
 I'm sorry this has happened to you.Your husband is a fool for doing this to you.And who would of thought,your own mother?!She's supposed to be there for you,not stab you in the back.Bump the counseling(Sam's answer),and hurry and get a divorce.This man doesn't need to be in your life.Once
a cheater,always a cheater.Tell your dad when he gets back.
As for your mom,Sam does have a point.She is the only one you got.You don't have to forgive her for it,but you can try to strengthen your relationship again.Talk about it,let
out all your feelings and anger and tell her how you feel.
You may not be able to forgive her now,but maybe in a few years you will,because we shouldn't hold grudges against each other.But divorce your soon to be ex-husband and get some money and get out.Hope we all helped.xxxx.he made her feel 'frisky as hell'.Lamest excuse I ever heard.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (30 December 2008):
 I feel your husband and you mother have acted in a very direspectful manner for him to come out and say to you he only married you to get access to her what is he nuts? he has put you through a marriage and everything that goes with a marriage for to be with your mother i honestly can't see how this will ever be put right i would tell your father when he gets home your mother has to face the music too she is cheating on your dad and you will all have to sit down and talk this through like sensible adults because you do not want to lose any of your parents although i can see why you would disown your mother ! My heart goes out to you especially at this time of the year this is awful for you and i truly hope you can find some peace from this mess keep us all posted.
Gina
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 You said it.. !! If you ask ME, I'd say there is Just One solution to this.. "DIVORCE"
You Husband and Mom are nothing more than "ridiculous" (plz pardon my language) . You should tell your dad everything and Kick your Husband out of your life.
He's already said that "YOUR MOTHER" was the reason he married you.. So, Kick him.
G'day
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A
female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (30 December 2008):
 I think if you want to save your marriage(and if he wants to, which sounds unlikely) you definitely need to get some counseling first. But just the fact that he said he married you to get to your mom is insane, and if that's true, then you really have no choice but to divorce him because that means he doesn't love you, and it is worse to be in a marriage with someone who has no feelings for you than to be alone. And what is up with your mom? I don't understand how she could do this to you. It almost sounds like a joke because it's so twisted and wrong.
You can mend things with your mother, because you only get one mom and it's her. But as far as your husband, it doesn't sound like he wants to be with you and I know you asked what you can do besides divorce, but that's the only thing that comes to mind in this situation, that is unless he genuinely wants to stay married to you, which is doubtful because he cheated on you with your mother and then turned around and told you that's why he married you(whether that's true or not). But, if he does want to stay with you, you guys should really consider getting some counseling. God bless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): I cannot decide whether your husbands or your mothers breathtaking disloyalty to you is worse. It is the cruelest of actions on both their part when the only people to hurt are members of their own family. It is truly disgusting and I am sorry you are in this situation. You need to tell your Dad immediately you can as it is better it comes from you than someone else. Your mother does not deserve any further 'protection'. You should be able to get a quick divorce and my immediate reaction is to get away (physically) from both people as quickly as you can. Consider your own stability and finances as a matter of urgency and clear as much money as you can from any joint banks so that you are 'secure'. Take what possessions YOU need - because lets face it your husband has taken just what he wants when he wants hasn't he. There is a part of me that can brush off your husbands revolting behaviour as a 'typical male' (sorry guys) although of course this stoops lower than most. HOwever.... your own Mother? Yuk. No - that is more than any daughter should stand. You need a long time apart from her, keeping in contact with your Dad, but do not torture yourself into thinking you need to somehow 'forgive' her - your main decision should be to protect yourself in every way you can and buy yourself time to heal which could be considerable.
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