A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. Our relationship has had some issues firstly he has cheated twice that I know of. He tells me that will never happen again. I have to admit sometimes I feel a bit insecure because he didn’t really seem to understand how much it hurt me and he didn’t want to answer my questions about it. Anyways, he works part time and spends most of his free time on whatsapp talking to friends apparently. He is popular there is no denying that. Although I feel like maybe sometimes it’s another woman. I ask him and he calls me small brain and stupid and don’t try to control him. I feel it’s a simple question that’s yes or no. He name calls without answering my questions. I’m not sure if he will change his ways and he sure doesn’t make me feel secure. Any advice would be appreciated thanks
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 July 2019):
 He disrespects you by cheating repeatedly (twice that you know of but possibly more that you don't), he further disrespects you by calling you names if you dare to question him and tell you not to try to "control" him.
Will he change? Not a cat in hell's chance.
Will he cheat again? I'd put money on it.
You are worth better. You already KNOW what you should do but there is only you who can do it. I hope you have the strength to do it. If not, you will just keep repeating the same scenario over and over again.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 July 2019):
 Okay so you’ve basically set a precedent that it’s okay for him to cheat. Why would he stop now? He knows he can get away with it. He insults you and belittles you, slept with another woman and you’ve just swept it under the carpet.
Do you honestly think you can’t do better than this? There’s nothing wrong with divorcing someone, it’s not negative or frowned upon. It doesn’t HAVE to work just because you’re married. This guy doesn’t respect you and he will continue to treat you like a doormat for as long as you let him. It’s really obvious what you have to do here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 July 2019):
 What is it that you love about this man?
Why did you marry him in the first place?
Sounds like he has need for a LOT of attention from many people (my guess is mostly women) that is why he has a chat app and is MORE focused on being "popular" on an app then find a full time job and help take care of the household. I can't imagine a part time job bringing in much money to the household. NOT the action of a guy who loves and respects his wife, is it?
When you ask (and quite honestly - WHO wouldn't be curios about whom their spouse talks to all the time over an app?)
He doesn't respond to you, he just uses the offensive tactics of calling you names, calling you stupid etc. NOT the action of a guy who loves and respects his wife, is it?
He also cheated on you. He might REGRET getting caught but how much remorse is there if he refuses to be responsible for HIS own actions?
Trust is eroding. It won't be long before it's gone, and you will start to lose whatever loving feelings you have for him, you will RESENT the name-calling (who wouldn't!) and then you will start to REALIZE that maybe your marriage is NOT what you had thought it should be or hoped it would be... and then what?
I'd leave, divorce him and let him go be single, he already ACTS like a single guy. Nothing you mention in your post makes me think you love him any more and HIS actions are certainly NOT that of a loving husband either.
Id this really how you see your life ? 5 years down the line? With a husband who work minimally, who calls you names and don't really give a single F about you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2019): He cheated on what was the honeymoon phase of your marriage?This is not good.He will not change he has shown you who he really is.Please do not get pregnant.Leave the louse.
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