A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for over 20 years and he has never been the romantic type but this valentines day he completely blew me off! Not even a card! Money is not an issue for us, he had the day off so he had time, and he didn't forget! I am hurt not because I wanted stuff, but because he just didn't care. Am I over reacting? Should he just get a pass on this one? After all, I don't care about the stuff and if he is just going to get me something to keep me from being mad, I don't want it! I want him to care enough about me to want to make me happy!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 February 2012):
 I'm not big on Valentine's Day, I don't like the idea of anyone telling me which day I should show my hubby I love him and HOW I should show it..
However, I still got him a card and his favorite chocolate - he got it on the 13th though.. Just because. I got nothing and honestly, I'm fine with that. Sometimes it's just nice to be the one to surprise him.
Valentine's was intended for single people, just like Mother's Day is for mothers.
Did YOU get him a card?
If you are unhappy about it, talk to him. Don't let it fester. Be honest.
The fact is, your man is not a romantic never was, but has he tried to be one? as in last V-day?
Sometimes you have to SHOW a man what it is you want/like/expect. So next time do something sweet for him, maybe he will take that hint and run with it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): If he has remained married to you for 20 years, he must care. Pigs ears and silk purses come to mind. If he has never been romantic and in 20 years you have not been able to change that. Then it might be time to give up trying and save your energy. You know he is not romantic, he knows you dont want things from him just for the sake of it! So being upset about it is just creating a no win situation for you both.
Maybe just focus on the things he does do for you. Hopefully they will be things that shows he cares.
If it is any consolation, most people i know...late teens and onwards, arent so bothered about Valentines Day. That is obvious by the amount of V cards still on the shelves in many of the shops around here. A lot of people seem to be subscribing to the idea that it is too commercial and its what you are like all year that counts, not just what you do on one day! It seems to be something the younger teens are really into, more than anyone else.
So if you have a good man and a long otherwise happy marriage, i wouldnt let one day a year spoil that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Hmmm.
Guy translation of your post- I dont care about Valentines Day and no matter what you do, I will never be happy.
Even though I am female and read it differently.
There is more going on in your marriage for it to get to the point where Husband would appear he doesn't care but if that is how you communicate- I could see why he wouldn't put effort into VDay.
Would you say other than that, your marriage is pretty sound or you more like two roommates living under same roof with sex privelages?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): My boyfriend is not into valentines day. He says its for the card companies to make money. I had a massive massive row with him two years ago about it. I told him i wanted to celebrate it even if he didnt and that people who say that are just cheap and lazy.
I think you need to sit down and explain what it means to you. Say you were hurt by not getting anything from him or by him not marking it by a small gesture. Say the least u want is a card and a box of chocolates standard. every year. Tell him its only one day in the year and that u deserve it. Or even better tell him your workmate bought you chocolates for valentines- thatll scare him! hehe You deserve the best and even if people cant afford valentines-everyone can afford to buy a card or make a card or do some gesture like make someone dinner or give them made up vouchers for washing up or cleaning or personal stuff. If you let this go and dont communicate with him, then he will do the same thing to you next year again.
I reached a comprimise with my boyfriend that i get the card and something small standard. Yesterday,he gave me a card , flowers and chocolates. Some people may say you're forcing someone to be nice to you, but i say its about standards u set for yourself. If you want romance and someone buying you jewellery and flowers for a surprise,,then watch a fairytale! No man is that romantic. Some girl along the lines had to tell him to be like that! So u tell your hubby now!
Best of luck and get communicating again!! If uv to repeat it more than one year , then instead of getting annoyed- think of it like how many times you've to tell guys to take out the trash! And just say ah men. How withering and chuckle to yourself instead.
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