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My husband and I seem to be the opposite of everybody... I need sex 3-4 times a day!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I come from a prepared wealthy family vs his (2 sets of parents etc.).

I feel I am always wearing the pants in our relationship and for once I want to be the damsel in distress, rescued by her knight in shining armor.

See, I’m the one that brings home the bigger income (by a lot), he leaves almost all the decisions up to me such as buying our house, cars, when we should have kids, even what we should have for dinner, etc.

He works very, very hard at his blue collar job and I know he needs time to relax play video games or play basketball w/his friends, but I wish he would take initiative in things that need fixing around the house. I always end up doing it all or calling for it to be done.

I’ll put up with all of the above, but when it comes to our intimate relationship…I still have the pants in the relationship! I’m the one always asking for sex, I want it all the time if I could have sex w/him 3-4 times a day I would love it. He turns me down, says he’s tired. I know his schedule so I know he’s not cheating on me. I left sex up to him and had sex just once that month. Not to be conceded, but I am an attractive female. I take care of my body and think I would be a good catch.

I hear guys complain all the time that their girlfriend/wife doesn’t want sex etc / im like are they crazy? I’ve brought this issue up with my husband many a times and he just thinks its no big deal. I’ve brought up marriage counseling and he blows me off. I’ve literally cried in front of him because he makes it hard for me to respect him as my head of my household. I’ve asked him to go to the doctor with me to see if I need some kind of suppressant for my sexual appetite, as not to hurt his feelings and suggest HE needs something to boost his; and he tells me to stop being silly. He is a few years older and I thought that would make him more mature, but no. I feel I am babysitting him. I don’t want a divorce and I don’t want to cheat on him, what would you suggest I do?

View related questions: divorce, video games

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

I can relate, I'm in almost exact situation.. and still don't know what to do.. if you ever figure out how to solve it.. let me know..

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntBring it up in marriage counselling that you would like him to be more involved in the decisions in life. Maybe he's just feeling less like a man because he can't bring home more money etc (I know it's stupid but some men have stupid pride complexes) As for the sex, compromise is evidentally the key. You both have highly different sex drives. Tell him you know he doesn't always feel like sex but that you feel like it all the time and maybe compromise on having sex every other day or something.

CD

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007):

you need to use your inner woman.

seduce him!

don't ask for it, just one day be dressed in your sexiest undies and fill the house with candles and easy music. make him see what he is missing. but don't give it to him straight away, tease him a bit.

If he still says how he is 'too tired', then tell him seriously how you feel. If he loves you how much he should, then he should want to make things better by councelling etc.

Good luck!

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