A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi aunts i wonder if you could all help me! The thing is im a very head strong person and ALWAYS let my oppinions be heard and stand up for what i think is right!i dont let anyone make my decisions for me and i dont let any man control me! lately though all my friends (even the male ones) seem to think ive turned into satan when im around guys! i must admit at times i hate every single man but this is because of my past. (not going into that)ive also recently let my guard down and tried to be free caring and flirty and it feels like my heart has been ripped out and put through a shredder all because of this one guy!i let myself get to close to him and hes just totally rejected me! i done this for my friends as they said i should try to be more open and happy so i thought id give it a go and now i see it was the BIGGEST mistake ever! im now more stubborn than ever and im losing my friends because of it.im fine with my female companions (to a certain extent as i cant stand all the "oh does he love me? why did he say that? oh hes sooooo gorgeous.") crap!as for my male friends they are scared to come within 20 feet of me incase i lash out at them and start one of my *very colourful* conversations towards them!but to me its all the males fault anyway!if they wern't so Pig headed and wore looser boxer shorts to let the circulation flow to their brain then they might think a lot better!This guy has REALLY hurt me though. he kept telling my friends (and myself) how interested he was in me and i thought "O.K why not! Guys cant be all that bad if every women wants one!" So i hung out with him, went out for drinks with him, texted him even kissed him quite a few times and i was starting to loosen up, then comes the bombshell! He walks straight passed me, looks at me, laughs then walks away! (with a so called friend of mine!)now shes going on about how great he was in bed and he has the nerve to text and phone me asking why i wont speak to him!!!!!i have simply had enough of men but im loosing friends because of it and my family are finding it hard to deal with to! (my 3 sisters all have boyfriends and i live with my dad! you can imagine the atmousphere.) im not a silly little girl or anything like that.i would just like to know what i can do in this situation (with this guy) and any advice you can give me on how to control this "satan" like attitude towards men!
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): I have to say that not all men are like this. You have to let go of your anger some how and i too think some counselling will help. You need to be able to talk to people, who you dont know, openly and freely. Get it all off your chest. I have been hurt very badly in the past and to carry the anger on is not good. It also affects our health over a period of time. I went through a very bad spell of depression. Go along and speak to your doctor and get him to arrange some counselling. You need to release this bad energy.
take care and keep in touch if you want.
xx
A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Would agree,There are many men and generally people assholes but Do as You implyed Your strong woman so Would you let them get into ur life and destroy It??! Is it worth?
The best is really to speak with someone, professional,this Guy hurt you and thats somwhere inside u locked and you will have problem coping with it if you dont use the "defense mechanisms" to help you...Counselling can help you really, and in the mean time just Think How Unworthy he Is to deserve any single Thought of You !! Move on... there are also Good people still and real Men !
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Seriously... as a guy, I'm gonna tell you to calm down.
You are gonna find a lot of guy's are assholes (women are no different) and the sooner you come to terms with this the sooner you get over it.
The thing about men is we are not all assholes. A lot of us a sweet and kind and the sort of guy you seem to want in your life.
The problem lies in you inability to let go of some jackass that didn't live up to the perfect man persona. You need to let go and forgive him. You will never be happy as long as you are so angry at him. It doesn't not do to dwell on the things that were and forget the things that are and can be.
Let go of that anger and move on to the next guy that takes your fancy. And believe me, chances are there will be plenty before you find a guy that doesn't disappoint. All you have to do is keep your independent attitude, its quite healthy to not take shit from guys that are a-holes, but don't be afraid to let someone else in, cause some day you'll find a guy that won't make you feel as if he slit you open and poured hot coals into your body.
Above all, try not to blame all men for the actions of one. We are all individuals, not to be compared to the next model.
Hope you can find a way out of your quagmire and find a guy or gal that makes you happy.
With Regards
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Most of the time when people (of either gender) say this, it goes back to them putting themselves around the same kinds of wrong people over and over again.
People complain that all men/women are like the ones that they gravitate towards, but they won't ever move out of that habit. So they insist on going through life either alone & angry, or else finding a parner who shows all signs of being a certain way and then turning out NOT to be that way when you get to know them better. Which is pretty darn rare.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (17 November 2007):
I agree with flower girl. To react so badly because of how one person has upset you suggests that you might have some deeper issue of fear and rejection and it is one incident that has brought it out.
Dating brings with it letdowns and heartaches for both men, and women, and to a large extent it is a learning process. It helps you learn more about yourself, and it surely helps you learn what kind of person would be best to be your partner. It is an important skill to be able to experience negative things but not to allow them to wreak your life, likewise you can either learn from what happened and become a stronger person and better friend or you can become a bitter distrusting people who isolates themselves and ruins their chances of meeting a nice guy one day.
People tend to get in life what they expect will happen to them; and if you expect that men will treat you badly then that is exactly the kind of guys you will ever notice.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Hi,
I think if you have had a previous bad experience that has made you feel this way about men, then it may be possible that the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is by getting some counselling, you may think i am talking mad but i have had experience of this and i know counselling helped the person alot and now looks at men in a completely different way.
Don't let the way one person has treated you ruin the rest of your life.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
