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My grandparents can't understand that I'm gay and keep asking me when I'm going to get a girlfriend! How can I get them off my case?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 17 year old guy and I have been with my boyfriend for three months. I recently came out to my parents and they were cool about it. However, my granparents are very traditional and they often make jokes about gay people. The thing is they keep asking me when i'm going to get a girlfriend so they can get some grandchildren e.t.c

How do I get them off my case? Should I tell them i'm gay, and if so, how should i go about doing so?

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntYou're only 17 and still very young (to them). I wouldn't tell them for now. Like you said, they're traditionalists, a different generation and they'll never understand until their dying day why you have to be gay so I would save yourself and your grand parents a whole lot of hassle by NOT telling them. It's no big deal to you or your parents but it would be to them so leave it, at least for now.

Regarding cheesy babe's joke Max... (why are men so thick! lol) she was saying hit them with a BIG problem THEN tell them about being gay, in other words it's not as if I'm dying here... I'm only gay after all! (as if, what's the big deal?) Right cheesy?

Good luck to you and your boyfriend love, I hope it works out for you both.

Eve

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2007):

vina_101 agony auntYour parents know you are gay right? So why don't you get them to explain to your grandparents? I'm pretty sure they would understand if its coming from them. Or is it your grandparents who have brought you up? If so or if you just want to tell them yourself then thats what you have to do. They are your grandparents and they love you I'm sure so whatever you tell them it won't make a huge differnce.

Sit them down and say, "There is something I need to tell you, you know how you always ask me about girlfriends? Well..." and take it from there.Do it when they are in a good mood by the way, that always helps.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007):

They have been planning and hoping about your future since the moment they heard that your mother was pregnant. They are going to need some time to "get off your back" and recover from their dreams being crumbled. And its not reasonable to expect them to recover when you havent even told them jack yet.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntWell you could get them off your case by going straight? :-P just kidding! Make sure you're definitely sure about being gay and not just confused. Once you've decided, the next step will be to come out. They'll eventually find out and stuff. But maybe now's not the time to come out as they still see you as a 17 year old and not a man yet. For now, I guess you could just tell them you're not ready for a girlfriend and you wanna focus on something else (like maybe work or education?) that's a good delay tactic.

Also I dont get the joke cheesy babe said. Someone explain please?

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A female reader, cheesy_babe United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2007):

cheesy_babe agony auntwell you could always pull the "i've only got 3 months to live...... only joking i'm only gay." but i don't think that would be the best way to deal with it.

grand parents obviously love you, but just not used to you being gay, if i were you i would just tell them that you are gay and that you are proud and nothing they say can change it and you are happy and if they loved you they would support you instead of making jokes.

get your parents to help and stand by you while you tell them if you need to. but confront them because its your life not theirs and they should support you in it.

hope i could help some

good luck!!!

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