A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriends sister (41) will not move out!My girlfriend (28) and I (27) have been together for about three years...for most of that we have lived together. The first year my girlfriend rented and I moved in with her and not long after her sister followed (sister had lost her job at the time). I was ok with it. I don't mind helping someone get on their feet. In the past year my girlfriend and I have bought a house together and her sister moved in too. We let her move in so she could help us get on our feet with all the new and extra bills we would have. My girlfriend and I had decided on august as when her sister would have to be out of the house by. Here it is July 25 and she's still in my house. She claims to be renting a house from a friend but idk how true that is. I see more stuff coming into the house (did I mention she's a hoarder!) than going out. She has not paid any rent or for any thing in over two months. While she does not stay here every night and goes to her boyfriends house 2 hours away here and there I still feel as though she should be paying something. She still sleeps on the couch (her bed has to much stuff on it for her to sleep on) throughout the week and showers here. I've tried talking to my girlfriend about it but she just gets angry at me. Her and her sister are very close but I'm just at my breaking point. Any help in this is very appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2019): Are you afraid of your girlfriend? You are paying a mortgage on a property; and now you're outnumbered by your girlfriend and her sister. My friend, this is a matter of you getting-up the courage to do what has to be done. Just accept the fact that no matter what you do, it may not sit well with your girlfriend; meanwhile, you're stuck in debt with a someone who has put your back to the wall. You have a say, and her sister does not!
To other readers:
This is why you do not intertwine your credit and income with people who aren't your spouse!!! It's also what happens when you don't stand-up for your rights out of fear. You can't keep people happy 24/7 and never face disagreement. Do whatever has to be done, as long as it is fair and righteous.
Man-up, dude! Take your testicles out of your girlfriend's and her sister's purses! They've got one each!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 July 2019):
 You and your GF bought the house together so HALF of it is yours, right?
Which means YOU have as much RIGHT to have a say as to WHO can live there and what they have to contribute.
I think you NEED to tell your GF this isn't working for you with her sister living there rent-free and sleeping on the couch.
I can't see why you should just SUCK it up if you "own" half the house (so to speak) it's YOUR home too and having someone mooching off you and using her room for storage is NOT ideal.
It isn't going to go down "nicely". But I think your GF is being utterly unfair and unrealistic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should add that she already has one giant storage unit. As i said in the first post she is a hoarder.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2019): Simple! Insist that she put her stuff in storage. If she won't put it in storage, and your girlfriend doesn't back you up on it; start the legal work for eviction. Give her a notice to remove the stuff and place it in storage; or you will have it placed in storage and charge her for it.
Your girlfriend is sitting back, placing you in the position of looking like the bad-guy; while she keeps her hands clean. You don't have to put-up with it, and it's up to you to man-up to the situation. If you're worried about upsetting your girlfriend, consider this. She doesn't seem to care that this bothers you! Take charge!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 July 2019):
 Keep it simple. I just would tell both your gf and her sister " I have noticed that ( sister's name ) seems a little behind schedule in moving out, - I think we can allow an extra 30 days ( or whatever you deem appropriate ) to make things easier on her, but then, that's absolutely it, it is final ".
Maybe this does not sound too diplomatic, but, come on, your gf is an adult and hopefully a reasonable one, she can't possibly be surprised or upset or offended that you refuse to give free rent to a third party , if the initial agreement was different, right ?. And in lack of any particular emergency like a serious illness or accident !
Actions have consequences, at least in a normal, civil way of living- and who does not stick to the pacts, and does not pay their fair share- needs to be gone. That won't came as a big surprise to your gf or her sister either, I believe- whether they are very close or not.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 July 2019):
 Could you accept her in the house if she cleared out some stuff and slept in her bedroom, and paid a fair share of utilities and other costs? I can understand your girlfriend being reluctant to move her on, there will be all sorts of underlying emotional turmoil happening.
The fact the sister doesn't even sleep in her bed but instead the couch due to her hoarding tendencies is of concern. Do some online research about hoarding and the reasons for it, approach your girlfriend from that angle. As I see it your only options are to
1: leave things as they are and get more and more angry about it
2: renegotiate the leaving date and get your girlfriend to actively help her sister find a new place.
3: Get sister to clean out her room and sleep in her bed, and contribute to household running costs.
4: Issue an ultimatum but you have to be prepared to move out if things don't go your way.
Its a tough situation you find yourself in. Good luck finding a solution that fits everybody.
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