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My girlfriend's family hates me, I think!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey a few things have happened involving my girlfriends family that have pretty much made me wanna call my relationship a day.so here we go

1.i bought her dad a dvd for a christmas present,he said he watched it and enjoyed it.me and my girlfriend were looking thru the dvd case to find a film and i came across the dvd still in the cellophane.

2.the dad often answers the front door and turns around before even saying hello to me (if he does at all on answering the door)

3.me and my girlfriend were eating a meal and we hadn't finished eating our meal her mum asked if we could clean up when we were finished (which we were gonna do anyway) so i finish my food and my girlfriend is still eating and her mum says "can't your friend do it while you eat" me being the "friend" she's referring to.

i no that family will always put family first and if we've argued and they have seen then fair enough if they have a bad impression of me.but i am always polite and i always make effort. so what do people think am i overreacting?

thank you to anyone who answers

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (9 June 2012):

Anastasia agony auntWow...that's what Dad told you? So he doesn't have any respect for her either then...sounds like so to say..a trash family to be honest. Any father who can't hold their daughter dear to their heart and respect her isn't worth any salt at all. That's just horrible.Really horrible.

I think you now have another issue though. You seem like an upstanding guy, respectable, a gentleman and well brought up...if this relationship is kept and goes further into marriage or even if you and her end up having a baby....do you want your family growing up in that type of environment?

Remember children are products of their environment.

This family has a serious lack of manners and etiquette.

I really hope you make the right decision.

Good Luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

can't hear*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks a lot well the first night i was allowed to stay over i spoke to the dad and asked if he was sure he was ok with it and he's reply......."if your gonna ride her make sure i can't here" what a way to talk about your daughter i think this gives a good insight into the kind of guy he is.i will talk to my girlfriend today

.thankyou

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (9 June 2012):

Anastasia agony auntHi,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through that with your girlfriend's parents. I think it's rude and disrespectful that they need to be like that.

I don't know that I have enough information to give you really sound advice though. You're just coming out of your teenage years or are out already. Have you hung out with the wrong crowd or are they aware of any arguments that you and your girlfriend have had? You seem to be a good guy giving Dad gifts and clearing the table and things. I can't imagine why they would be like this towards you. They probably are under some false opinion from something they have seen or heard...or just simply you're with their daughter...some parents are like that...so protective it borders on ridiculous and rude.

The best advice at this time I can give is talk to your girlfriend seriously. Let her know that you feel uncomfortable and so uncomfortable around them that it is affecting how you engage in your relationship. You are seriously questioning if you can be a part of the relationship wholeheartedly when you know everytime you go over there you need to endure this level of rudeness and disrespect. Let her know that you don't deserve this and won't put up with it for much longer. It sounds cruel but no one deserves to be disrespected regardless of love or what ever. You have value and you show respect to them...don't ever let anyone make you feel like how you are feeling now.

I am not sure if you are brave enough for this, but perhaps you can ask them to chat with them for a few minutes and ask if there is anything that you have done to make them feel that you are not a worthy companion for their daughter as you feel sometimes uncomfortable because of how they speak to you and treat you. You might be surprised the reaction you get. Some parents ...unfortunately just want to see how much "balls" their children's partners have...it's very dumb but some parents do it to see if the person could stand up for their daughter. Yes Yes very stupid.

All said and done, go with your gut. Obviously you don't like how you are being treated and it's so bad that you are thinking of throwing the towel in. Give a try or two to reason with her and them why. If after all your efforts, you are still not getting anywhere and it still continues....then my friend you need to move on from that one....it will not get any better.

Hope I helped.

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