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My girlfriend won't let me take her to climax

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Question - (30 April 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I can't get my current girlfriend to cum. i dont think my method is to blame as she says she has never climaxed with anyone and i have never had this problem with other girls.

i always make sure to spend alot of time on foreplay alot of kissing, touching etc i spend quite alot of time on clit stimulation and with most girls i would make them cum at least once before penatration.

However with my current girlfriend when she seems to be reaching climax she makes me stop. We've spoken about it alot and have tired lots of things but all she can really tell me is that it feels amazing then suddenly she needs to stop.

i don't know what i can do to make her more comfortable during sex so we can get by this. i really love this girl and want to be able to fully satisfy her in bed.

View related questions: foreplay, kissing

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009):

Thanks for all your replies,

She has never reached orgasm with anyone or by her self, she has tired vibrators etc but said she didn't like them.

I do think it is probally a control issue and the feeling of loosing control becomes too much for her, I've tried everything i can think of to make her more comfortable with me and she says she trusts me completely.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

Sometimes it's just a question of control. There are women who simply cannot handle the idea of losing control, and orgasm, as far as I can tell, means a loss of control.

I had girlfriends to whom I could give amazing, earth-shattering orgasms. Who would call out to God. Through manual, oral, genital, whatever stimulation.

My wife? I don't know that it's *ever* happened for her. Goodness knows I've been willing to try *anything* to make it happen for her. She won't allow digital stimulation. She doesn't seem to care for oral. Satin has talked about clitoral stimulation, but that's off limits too. So I can only conclude that she cannot abide the idea of losing control.

So -- you guys need to talk. Maybe there's a trust issue, and that she just can't stand to let completely go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009):

trust your girlfriend in what she tells you. When my boyfriend and i are together, sometimes i'm unable to cum, but the feeling i get is amazing. It's not about what comes out. it's about what happens inside. sometimes the feeling is so intense you need to stop.

You're not doing anything wrong at all

=]

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