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My girlfriend says she can't tell when she has an orgasm

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Question - (7 August 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

my girlfriend told me she can't tell when she cums. i know for a fact that some girls do know when they cum. is something wrong with her? and is it normal?

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (7 August 2008):

There is almost certainly NOTHING wrong with her and she is NOT unusual.

The other responses here illustrate the general consensus, "If she doesn't know when she has an orgasm, she probably hasn't had one. When she has an orgasm, she WILL know!"

Unlike guys, who almost always discover their orgasm in their early teens, many girls need to learn how to have an orgasm. Although some women find it easier (less embarrassing) to learn alone, in private, others share this personal and very special learning experience with a partner they care deeply for. One of the most satisfying and memorable events in my life was the time I helped my wife to her very first orgasm. It happened about 6 months before we were married, we were both 22 years old(!), and the event is as significant (to me) as our wedding night when we took each other's virginity.

You (and your girlfriend!) may find some useful information in my response to the thread, "I am not sure I ever had an orgasm though we have a very active sex life..." at [http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-not-sure-i-ever-had-an.html].

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (7 August 2008):

O Connor agony auntif she had orgasmed she would definitely know. so she hasn't. nothing to freak out about now, its alot more difficult for women to orgasm. alot of women never orgasm through intercourse alone. clitoral stimulation is usually the easiest way. so take time during foreplay and try oral with her also. different positions will make it better for her also.

i have a great link to a website its sexinfo101.com

its the website i use and it lists everything you could know about pleasuring women and men, toys, oral, positions etc etc.

you should both sit down and take a look at it, its fun and you will both learn more!! good luck. email me if you want. i would love to hear wat you think of the site.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

i found that i orgasmd during forplay rather than actual sex,

explore each other , take you time, note what she likes ..........

get some 'toys'

warming lubricants etc that make the area more sensitive ...

but have fun whilst doing it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

Not all girls have orgasms - in fact less than you think, but the statistics vary greatly. As Tom said, if she had one she would know.

When you say cum do you just mean orgasm or do you mean her actually, cuming. Coz if you mean actually cumin its only a few number of girls that do that to my memory.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

i found that i orgasmd during forplay rather than actual sex,

explore each other , take you time, note what she likes ..........

get some 'toys'

warming lubricants etc that make the area more sensitive ...

but have fun whilst doing it

<-- Rate this answer

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

If she ever actually had one, I am pretty sure that she would know. If she is unsure, then she probably has not. Yes, it is "normal". Many women are not orgasmic intil they are older than your girlfriend. Don't be discouraged, though. It takes a special type of man and a special type of patience. As long as she at least enjoys intimacy, you can have a good relationship. I am not going into detailed techniques here. Do some reading and study and talk about it, but don't make her feel pressured and do not feel pressured yourself.

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A female reader, DoodlePixie United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

I find this a little odd, and it just makes me suspect that she's never had an orgasm. It's a case of YOU KNOW when you're orgasming because the feeling is so intense and different to anything else.

So she's either never actually had an orgasm or is a little weird, heh!

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