A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i found out my girlfriend started hooking she says she only been doing it for a month.she is a heroin addict that recently was taken off methadone. she says she is only giving blowjobs i know different.she said she started doing this because i am out of work and unable to support her habit.she has been lying to me about everything.she says she still loves me but i dont know what to do.she lives with her grandmother and if she found out she would lose her only stable thing in her life. i am so messed up and shocked this is going on.she talks to me frankly about what she is doing i hate this i love the girl but she loves the drugs more.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 December 2011):
 Well, if I were you, she would be in my rearview mirror.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 December 2011):
 Her drug addiction and the prostitution exposes both of you to enormous risks and not just sexual ones either. For this reason alone, I would end the relationship.
The thing with drug addicts is you can't really connect with them because they aren't all there. A big part of them is elsewhere and you don't know when if ever they will come back. This is no way for you or her to live, but you can only control what you do.
Walk away and sever all ties.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): I know you say you love this girl but she is a smack head. It will never be a normal relationship. Your life will be dragged down forever. She needs her fix and that comes first and above anything else. Walk away.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (24 December 2011):
 Tell her to go back on methodone.. being a prostitute to get drugs, isn't getting better, it's taking a step back.
Addicts can't love people, they can't even love themselves.. the only thing they love is the drugs, they will lie, cheat and steal and manipulate.. Check the web for advice on how to support people addicted to drugs... but don't trust her one little bit, bj's don't pay enough, she will quickly let men do anything as long as the give her the money she wants.
PS: Grandma's house isn't a safe house, she will soon start stealing and grandma will kick her out.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 December 2011):
 Sweetie, being involved with an active addict is painful and if you can get out you should...
SHE SAYS is not the same as SHE SHOWS...saying I love you does not mean they do... they have to show you... with deeds and actions... one of which is being a healthy functional contributing member of society.
You say you love her.
do you love her drug use?
do you love her lying?
do you love her giving other men blow jobs for money?
or do you love HER POTENTIAL... or the fact that someone is so co-dependent with you that you are NEEDED?
Co-dependency is very very much a part of addict behavior.
she needs you so you let her continue her drug use so you can be needed... classic co-dependent behavior...
IF you TRULY love her and want to help her and don't want to be selfish you will help her figure out how to get to rehab... why was she taken off of methadone... I know recovering addicts that have been on it for years and years...
I suggest you find a local Al-Anon chapter and attend meetings to figure out how to take care of yourself.
I also think that counseling for you to learn about codependency might be a good idea..
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