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My girlfriend looks at other men in front of me!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2005) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2010)
A male , anonymous writes:

why does my girlfriend check out other guys?And sometimes in front of me.It makes me feel like i'm not good enough for her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010):

Oh come on! It's normal for girls to check out other guys when they're with their boyfriends! You shouldn't act verbally and/or physically abusive to her like most average guys do. If you're being bothered by it, break up with her. Besides most girls just do it on purpose without paying any attention to the guy's feelings and such.

I mean, if I was looking at and/or flirting other guys with a boyfriend around, he'd sure call me a "slut" and/or punch the h**l out of me or even tell my family! It's common in my culture.

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A female reader, Bonnie Lass +, writes (24 November 2005):

Her looking at another guy makes you feel bad? I would wager a guess that it is more that you are "allowing" yourself to feel bad. It is a very common trait in many people to believe that their partners should never look at someone else and especially with "those" types of looks. If she is looking at someone else perhaps she is admiring something about them or finds them attractive. If that is the case and that bothers you then I would say that you may just be slightly insecure in your own appearance or status with her and that is where your feeling of "bad" is coming from. Because another man in handsome/good looking does not mean that you are not and you should consider whether internally you feeling jealousy or fear that she may find someone else.

Another thought that you might really consider is the negative that you are placing upon your relationship. "SHE" makes me feel bad. Only YOU are in control of your emotions and if you truly take time to recognize WHY you are feeling badly I think your answer will be found within yourself. When you identify the WHY you can then share with her as your best friend and you and she both can then effectively come up with an amicable solution.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005):

I think Tim's answer was a little out of order, as are the rest of his answers. It doesn't mean she doesn't fancy you. Everyone(boys and girls) often look at people of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean they are going to cheat or hurt you. Me and my boyfriend always comment on the good looking guy or girl in the bar, it's about controlling jealousy. If she didn't like you she wouldn't be with you.

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A male reader, Tim +, writes (22 November 2005):

Tim agony auntwell she might not 100 % fancy u means or ur not her type watch out she could hurt u sooner or later, i dont blame u she hasn't found her dream guy ;) yet, she has accepted u temporary and waits till wot comes along before u get hurt u more keep things clean and tidy and ask her why is she dpoing all this infront of u?

Good luck

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A female reader, iggyzap +, writes (21 November 2005):

the key is communication. Let her know how you feel and see what she has to say about it. Its not right for either person in a relationship to make the other feel bad about themselves so once she knows it bothers you then she will stop or be more discrete about it if she loves you. if not then she owes you a good explanation of why she does it. then it is for you to decide what happens next. femles go through this all the time with men and you do need to keep i mind as we do that there is no physical contact, just looking, but i do understand that it hurts the same.

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A female reader, emoish_crayon +, writes (21 November 2005):

as long as she dosent touch you should let her look. dont you trust her or something?

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A female reader, sexseahot United States +, writes (21 November 2005):

sexseahot agony auntYou really need to talk to her about this and ask her why she does this. Is your relationship on good terms when she does this? Think about aspects of your relationship and if she is satisfied with all of them. It's usually ok to look as long as you don't touch, but sometimes if someone feels uncomfortable about this situation and would like them not to, that's when you have to sit down and have a talk with them and let them know. If you feel you are not good enough for her, let her know that's how you feel. Maybe she doesn't notice how you feel and she's most likely not doing it on purpose.

As long as she's not going up to guys and talking to them also or letting you know what she thinks about some guys' looks, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about, but just in case you should bring this up to her and let her know how she's making you feel.

Good Luck!

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