A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend kissed her bi-sexual friend tonight at our house party. her friend is really ugly and makes my skin crawl. I saw them snogging and it was longer then 5 seconds and involved eyes clossed and tounges full on. it totaly ruined my night and sobered me up in seconds. i love this girl and i dunno how to tell her that its not OK to do that. it may sound a bit stupid as im sure it never meant anything as she was drunk it just hurt me. I know that she is scared to talk to me about it as she has avoided me all night and the girl she kissed (pissed off her face) was going on to me about how much she loved my GF and hoped i wasn't annoyed that they had kissed. this wasn't what i needed and only made things worse for me. being the "nice guy" i have steered clear and not said anything tonight. i know my GF felt really embarrassed about it but she hasnt got the guts to say anything to me yet so i am sitting up in bed writing this. later on in the night she proceeded to kiss another girl mate of hers (not quite in the same way) but touched tongues jokingly and made me feel like shit as i was doing my best to not be a dick about what she had done earlier. i feel like such a tw_t even writing this but seeing the girl i love kiss someone else with passion really hurt. how do i react? she must feel bad because she is avoiding even being in the same room as me. Do i do the thing i always do and be the good guy and put up with it for the happy times we have, or do i tell her its not alright and im pissed off....or do i pack my shit (living with her) and go back to my old house tonight? very confused right now, i understand girls experiment with each other for attention or whatever but is that ok at my expense?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): I am impressed with how you have handled the situation so far, its excellent. Making a big scene at a party would have been a bad idea, specially when people are drunk.Let her sober up, then talk to her in the morning. Talking and fighting late at night when drunk is a bad idea, and it will probably make matters worse, so wait 'til the morning.Now, it's not acceptable behaviour for your gf to kiss someone else. Bisexual, girlfriend, or total strangers. You need to sit down with her and draw the line with her for what you accept and not, and then you two must see if there are any ways to compromise. Some guys dont care if girlfriends kiss each other, and some are turned on by it. Then again others concider it cheating.
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 Kissing someone is kissing someone. The gender doesn't matter. If she kissed a man, you'd be right to be angry. She kissed a woman, and you still have a right to be.
But talk to her. Be open. Try to calm down before you do, because being immediately aggressively upset will just make her defensive and make everything harder. Be calm when you talk to her, but just make sure that you do talk to her and explain that it feels like cheating to you, hurts you a lot, and you want to know if there's something deeper here than a drunken experiment. The calmer you are, the more honest she'll be, but talk.
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