A
male
age
41-50,
*ussellh
writes:Well I've been with my girlfriend just over a year and our our sex life was very good excellent to say the least, I am 36 and my girlfriend is 49 and i love her so dearly but recently she has gone off sex and has lost all interest in making love as if it was over night.I have asked her if she wants to be with me or not and she replies she doesnt know and is going to start going to the gym to see if that makes any difference and gets her feelings back. When I ask why she has gone off sex she says she doesn't know. She says she doesn't want to hurt me or put me through this. I'm really in a bad way with this as I feel so sick, I can't eat or swallow when I do eat I throw up. I don't know how to get her back or what went wrong.I could do with some help here!thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, russellh +, writes (24 November 2009):
russellh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for that further discussion has revealed that she dosnt want to lose me but is feeling trapped and needs some space her daughter has recently came back from uni and dosnt really approve of me and she dosnt want to lose her daughter so i think she is shutting me out as a way of not hurting herself she dosnt know why she has lost these feelings or when it happened but was very sudden any advice on how to get these feelings going again i know she loves me (i think ) i dont know weather to stay or leave the feelings im having i dont really understand as i havnt had them before i dont want to lose her she means everything to me russ
A
male
reader, russellh +, writes (22 November 2009):
russellh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for that further discussion has revealed that she dosnt want to lose me but is feeling trapped and needs some space her daughter has recently came back from uni and dosnt really approve of me and she dosnt want to lose her daughter so i think she is shutting me out as a way of not hurting herself she dosnt know why she has lost these feelings or when it happened but was very sudden any advice on how to get these feelings going again i know she loves me (i think ) i dont know weather to stay or leave the feelings im having i dont really understand as i havnt had them before i dont want to lose her she means everything to me russ
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (21 November 2009):
 Your partner maybe experiencing the menopause, of which lack of sex drive can be an issue for some women. One of the reasons is that the progesterone hormone levels can drop with the menopause, along with a change in estrogen and testosterone. This can have a major impact on how a woman feels about herself and her sexual appetite. There are solutions such as hormone replacement therapy and a simple blood test at the doctors would identify if she is menopausal.
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