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My girlfriend has gone away to college, I'm scared she will cheat with her guy friend

Tagged as: Long distance, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend has just gone off to college and we are taking a small break since we will both be at college for some time. We still love each other but when she was leaving she was so excited to go to college that she didn't seem like she would miss me at all. She has also been texting this guy whose going to school with her non-stop and it scares me that she may cheat on me. Even though we are on a break, our relationship isn't over and it scares me that she may decide to completely end our relationship and be with some guy I don't even know. As of now we will be talking everyday and keeping in touch as we always do, but I am still not calm at heart and am picturing the worst. How do I know she still loves me and that she won't go running off with some other guy? I just don't want to keep my hopes up only to have them crushed later on. She has made it clear she loves me and always will, but just needs a little time to figure things out.

View related questions: a break, crush, text

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A female reader, iloveblue Canada +, writes (28 August 2011):

iloveblue agony auntI think I agree with walshie93 on this one.

I don't want to put your only hope down but the chances are that you will succeed in your relationship with this girl is at best 50/50. You are still young and about to go to uni yourself. Don't you feel excited too about the new changes that will happen to your life? Your gf seems to be planning on her own, plan for yours too.

Lastly, your girlfriend's behavior really does seem like she's heading towards the day she will just break the news to you, that she no longer wants the relationship. If I were you, but do take some time to think carefully, have the courage to speak to her and discuss about the status of your relationship. From there you will know if it's time to go your separate ways. Being in a new school with new people is the best time to actually cope up from a break-up. It's a totally new environment. And who knows? Before you even know it, you may be dating an interesting girl by then.

Best of luck to you.

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A male reader, walshie93 United Kingdom +, writes (28 August 2011):

walshie93 agony auntListen to me now and listen to me good.

If you love someone, you do not go on a break. If you love someone, you do not constantly text another boy. If you love someone, you'd be in tears leaving them to go to college.

Short, sweet and blunt. She wants to break up with you.

Relationships are built on trust, fidelity, love and all of that which you hear about in films and television. Does this sound like a happy relationship or hang on, I'm sorry, 'a break'?

" though we are on a break, our relationship isn't over and it scares me that she may decide to completely end our relationship and be with some guy I don't even know"

Take my advice and end the relationship if she is unwilling to stay together.

This is my favourite part here. "I just don't want to keep my hopes up only to have them crushed later on. She has made it clear she loves me and always will, but just needs a little time to figure things out."

Are you blind? Are you deaf? What is there to figure out? If she loves you, she loves you and you two stay together. She is really figuring out her way out the relationship. Granted it may not be as cynical as that but she is going to college and you aren't there. People shouldn't really go to college in a relationship, it spells bad news.

You are going to have your hopes crushed if you rely on a long distance 'break'. You two won't get back together the more time you spend apart. So end it now and be happy it happened.

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