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My girlfriend doesn't even want to hug me!

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi thank you for taking the time to read this.

Ive been going out with my girlfreind for 10 months now and im having real doubts if she still loves me. Im absolutley in love with her, devoted and i would do anything for her. Yet i get no affection no love sometimes not even a smile, when we talk on facebook or on the phone she loves me tells me so all the smiley faces and hearts yet when we are together sometimes i just feel nothing for her. I went away on a school trip this week and i missed her so much messaged her everynight to cheak on her tell her i love her miss her and hope she is ok. I get all the awwww i love you too's but when i came back yesterday she hardly even looked at me but was smileing and laughing with her freind. (boy) when i came up to her tired to give her a hug she pushed me away as she does all the time. She will never so much as give me a hug.

I love this girl so much and the though of losing her brings me to tears but i cant keep being taken for granted anymore. I need love too, all i do is give it out. I had to walk away from her after because i was going to lose my temper with her freind who has been geting way to close to her for my liking. Im trying my best not to be jelous and i trust that nothing is going on, i dont like him but i respect her right to be freinds with whoever she choses. Im just trying to be the best boyfreind that i can to do it all right because that is what she diserves but im just feeling empty at the moment.

All my freinds are telling me that im sexually fustrated as i talk about sex alot , they know her views on pre marital sex, she is very public about it. Im a teenage boy with a girl i love of cource i want to have sex with her, but even with that i respect her and her principles and will wait for her as long as it takes, but im struggling with that too. Even if we dont have sex i just want a hug and a kiss something to show that she loves me and cares. Ive been trying my hardest but i just dont know what to do anymore.

thank you for even reading.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2011):

supermum agony auntUnfortunately, if you want to get this sorted, you are going to have to talk straight no matter how uncomfortable it is for both of you xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question


No she has not been sexualy abused when she wants to she can be sexual. I try to talk to her about it but the tought of making her upset is horrible and she feel guilty whenever we talk about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011):

I think I'm the same as you're girlfriend, and this actually tends to bring out almost obsessive behaviour in guys cause I don't let them get too close.

Just don't be too desperate so you don't push her away, but I'm sure it's all fine.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

supermum agony auntI am one of those people that does not like to hug. It is because I was abused as a child and now physical intimacy scares me. I don't kiss or anything, but I can show my affection online. Has she been through anything similar?

Either way, some people are just not the affectionate type, so I guess you have to think about whether you can live with that. But I do think you need to talk to her about your concerns with her, see what she says. If she is more comfortable doing things online, then ask her online so she can answer honestly without having to hide anything.

I hope things work out for you!!!!

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