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My girlfriend constantly thinks I'm cheating. What can I do to change her way of thinking?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *ralldayerrday writes:

My girlfriend keeps thinking I'm going to cheat on her. Nothing I say or do works. We have been dating for 11 months. I really like her and she won't except that she has trust issues. If someone could help I would greatly appreiciate it. Thanks

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (10 January 2010):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntPeople who do this are suffering from trust issues and deep-down personal insecurities.

It could be that she's telling you this and subliminally she's really saying she's going to break up with you if you don't break up with her first.

Men and women do this. They don't trust you enough to actually love you, and then they turn around at some point and tell you they don't see spending the rest of their lives with you -- because they think you're either going to cheat or you just don't do it for them.

Its the old brick wall mentality. She's thinking you've got a wandering eye, in reality she's distancing herself from you and wants to blame you for cheating so she can come out on top.

The way you confront this is simple. If you really love her and you want her to give you a real chance, and not be a prissy little princess, its easy.

Sit your girlfriend down and ask her why she thinks you want anyone else. Really ask her what it is that makes her think you want to go cheat on her. Then tell her that you love her and care deeply for her and you need to know what it is deep down inside of her that makes her think you can't be trusted.

The other thing is you have to start looking into her heart and finding out what it is she wants out of her life, what she needs from you as her boyfriend and as the man in her life. What are her dreams? What can you do to make her life better.

If she can start sharing these things with you, and you can do the same thing for her; and the two of you work together as a couple, anything's possible.

However, right now she's got some personal issues and the only way to get her trust is to find out everything you can from her directly that will make her feel happy to be with you, and actually love you.

Now after all of that is said and done, every relationship takes work. You have to be into her, her world what she needs and she has to do the same things for you that will help you too. That's why people stay together.

Its worth a shot. I hope this helps you.

Otherwise, it could be she's seeing someone else on the side, and frankly she's cheating and accusing you of the same. Which, though possible, you didn't say has happened so I assume you're her main squeeze.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (10 January 2010):

This is really her problem unfortunately. She needs to get some self confidence.

You can try tough love and tell her that you can't take it any more and you'll leave unless it stops.

But she has to realise that her behaviour is just not acceptable in a relationship.

Good Luck!! xx

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