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My girlfriend complains that it hurts to shave "down there" but I don't want to go down on her if she doesn't!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2008) 15 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2013)
A male Chile age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi, I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months now and i have gone down on her twice. The first time i did it was the first time ive ever done it. So i liked it. But then te second time i realized that i didnt like it so much. Mainly because of all the hair down there. We talked about it and she said she would shave it. But everytime she says it she always comes back the next day and says the she´s scared to shave it because it hurts. Is there any certain method that she should shave it or anything like that. I know she wouldnt come on here to ask so im going to ask and suggest it to her later on. I know that it makes a girl feel cleaner and better about herself. So theres no doubt in my mind that she will thank me for it later. Please help.

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A female reader, pixiedust18 United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2013):

Hey, if trimming don't work, which it should! Then maybe get her to try veet hair removal cream its pretty simple and you don't get shaving rash or any of the other horrible things that come with shaving down there. Hope it works :)

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A female reader, CutiePatootie United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

I have the same problem.. as do most of the girls out there do. What i do is shave every 3 days and like if you do it very slowely and carefully it shouldnt be AS bad... but it still hurts and is very uncomfortable.. and when it comes back its stubbily and bummby and its a lot less attractive than if she just trimmed it :(.. but if u r both sure this is what u want then tell her when she gets out of the shower to put perfum on it.. just dab a little bit on.. it makes it really red but in about 10 minutes the bumbs go away and stay away ... good luck

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A female reader, LaurenElizabeth United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2009):

Well i must agree with youre gilfriend it does somtimes hurt,Im the same with lads, all the lads ino hate girls that dont shave so im forced to :/ but i do feel cleener and prefure it myself even if it does hurt well i sugest that if your girlfriend going to shave then to use a realy thick shaving cream // shower gel w.e she shaves with and use a good shaver. Dont shave every single day because when she tries to shave the stubble away it will just make her bleed just shave like evry 3 to 4 days. xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008):

I use the venus razor and I have gotten razor burn and it was really sore. I have even had infected hair follicle this is what works for me. I have learned everyone is different and it is really a trial and error thing for different people. I wait to shave last and then when I get out I pat dry then use this Noxzema spray called Soothe and Smooth. It does not let me get irritated, red, or bumps anymore. It is hard to find at certain stores. I had to go to a few to find it after I tried it. I found it CVS yesterday. I was out and had been using the gel stuff and lotion type stuff and it was not working. I felt like I had a rash because I was so red. This is a miracle for me.

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A male reader, D34D_1C3 United States +, writes (6 October 2008):

i don't know what you guys are talking about, but i shave my genital area every morning, as do almost all of my male and female friends, the itching and discomfort sucks for a while, but after about a week, that goes away as the skin starts to toughen up as a result of the frequent shaving. And every person that i know who does this says that it makes them feel so much cleaner as well as more aroused during sex, so tell your girlfriend to shave a few times every week, and if you do it as well, you should both be on your way to having hairless fun in no time

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (1 July 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntIt does hurt a bit - for me, shaving is a totally awkward and not too pleasant activity. The worst for me is when the hair starts to grow back! Horrible, horrible.

I would either ask her to trim up or you buy her a gift certificate for a bikini wax. With a bikini wax, at least she won't get stubble for awhile! This way you'll pay for the first couple trips to the salon and she'll get so used to being waxed that she'll take it up as a permanent habit!

xx India

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

Have you shaved your pubic hair, questioner? Do you know that it is very itchy when it grows back? I don't find it makes me feel cleaner, just incredibly scratchy and uncomfortable. Humans have pubic hair for a reason; having a very hairy bush is one thing but so long as it's well-trimmed why should your girl be uncomfortable if you won't do the same?

Hair removal creams and bikini waxes are a much safer option than taking a razor to the genital area. But it's her decision. If you can't handle a girl who has some pubic hair, prozzies tend to shave everything down there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

Hi

None of the depilatory creams are for the intimate area. I tried it anyway, and where it got onto the inner labia it burned terribly!

I have shaved using hair clippers, but if they are blunt, the can pull the hair (ouch).

Best for me is putting on thick layer of conditioner (as for head hair) and leaving it to soften the pubic hairs for a while and then shaving with a safety razor-the ones that have little wires running across the sharp surfaces of the blades (Schick II lady razors) and that seems to work well.

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A female reader, Jade Harmony United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

Jade Harmony agony auntYou could shave yours and then show her! Say "Look Sweetie, I shaved mine so now so should you!" just kidding! There's a special shaving gel I use called something like "Bikini Zone" and it's blue. It's nice and refreshing and prevents me from getting shaving bumps. That is true that you can't make her do it if she really doesn't want to but maybe you could just pick some up at your local drugstore and take it home for her to try. If you want to make an "adventure" out of it, maybe you could offer shaving it for her! Just be extra careful! Good luck!

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A female reader, mimisoph3 United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

mimisoph3 agony auntshe could try waxing it hurts but it will be soft of a while

or she could try hair removal cream..or a really good razor

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

I shave completely and it does get sore. After she does it give her a good soft lick to help with the burn. Remind her to use lotions to help with razor burn and realize she can only probably shave once every three days at the soonest or she will hurt herself more.

As far as creams have her try it on her leg first then armpit then down there. I have heard so many stories of people who used cream down there and thought they were going to die after. I used it on my legs and thought they would blister so I can only imagine what an allergic reaction down there feels like.

Have her try different razors and make sure they aren't dull. I have found that mens razors work best for some reason.

Overall if she cant do it then you have to accept it. If need be she can use scissors to trim which wont be uncomfortable at all pain wise.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

To say the least shaving down there kills on girls I dont no about guys I dont think they have to but for girls every step we take we can feel the pain down there and it reduces the sexual plesure for everyone! Because its not like shaving legs it dosent go so smooth so sex just hurts not fun at all however triming it down helps so much and with a simple hand mirror she can do a simple clean cut all around that feels clean and nice =•)

Hope I helpd, sky

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (1 July 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, has your girlfriend tried depilatory creams? This stuff you spread it on, wait 15mins or so, then wash or wipe it off. Shaving can get uncomfortable especially when the hair is growing back... and waxing.. well that is better left to the very brave! If your girlfriend is dead-set against any of these options, suggest as part of your foreplay to give her a trim with some blunt tipped scissors...... Good Luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

it wouldn't hurt so much if she just trimmed it down rather than fully shave. i'm a girl and i chose to fully shave and yes it does hurt. its not unbearable but it does get irritating. if she doesn't want to i suggest u just ask her to trim it.

another thing to think about: do u shave? if u don't, try making a deal with her that if she does u will. and if u do try reasoning with her that if u can handle it she should too. u shouldn't expect her to do something you are not willing to do. if u can come to a compromise that would be best, whether its you both shaving or both trimming, but whatever u do, if one of u is gonna be doin it, the other should too.

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A female reader, Tremor Australia +, writes (1 July 2008):

Tremor agony auntIt really depends on how much shaving you mean - are we talking a tidy up here, or the whole scary Brazilian thing?

If it's just that the hair is too long, then perhaps a trim would be sufficient. I know a lot of women who prefer this method - it keeps it tidy, it beats shaving, and it's a whole lot less painful than waxing.

If the hair really has to go, though, I'd recommend waxing over shaving. Shaving always carries that risk of cuts in awkward places. With waxing, it takes longer for the hair to grow back, and there tends to be less of the ingrown hair.

However. If your girlfriend really does not want to shave or wax down there, then you can't make her. You may well just have to suck it up and deal with it - a little hair between the teeth never hurt anyone.

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