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My girlfiriend is going to prom with another guy

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2013)
A male United States age 18-21, *breezy49 writes:

We argue about this all the time because I don't want her to go with him but since I found out I might be able to go to prom she told me no that since she already made plans with him she won't go with me her BOYFRIEND and this kills me inside

I don't wanna sit here and look like a fool and let everything go down like and some people say that she is messed up for taking him and I should leave her but I love her dearly but I feel like I shouldn't let her take advantage of me like this and make me look like a chump but if I was to do something like this there would be hell to pay , but now I recently found out that she has been messing up in school and she might not be able to go also so she is in the same predicament as me I asked her since she is going through same thing as me that she will still go with him and not go with me but she still insists that she will still go

I kinda suspicious that she might be having something going on with him but one day when I was late for school and didn't get there till lunch time. And me and her sit next to each other everyday at lunch and managed to see them sitting next to each other really close like shoulder to shoulder and laughing and giglening and stuff Idk what to do should I let some other man take my lady to prom or what? Please I need help!!!

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A female reader, st4rfish United States +, writes (25 March 2013):

st4rfish agony auntIf the both of you knew all along that you can't go to prom, then she has every right to take another date. It's not fair to ask her to go stag because YOU can't go to prom. Prom is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and it's only natural that she wants to make it as memorable as possible.

If you're finding out now that you *might* be able to go to prom, it's too late. She already made plans with someone else and it would be disrepectful of her to break those plans. Also your *maybe* status is not reliable. What if you make plans with her and you can't go? If you truly love her, you wouldn't deprive her of a fuller prom experience.

The fact that you're suspicious of them having feelings for one another is a different matter. The only way to find out is to ask her. Then you can consider whether it's worth staying with her. Both of you deserve someone who will give you their full attention.

I will tell this you as someone who went to prom not too long ago. Relationships will come and go, especially in high school. But prom is a night you will remember for the rest of your life, good or bad. So try to make it as wonderful as possible even if you can't go with your girlfriend.

If the three of you end up going to prom, be sure to give them space no matter now difficult. Of course you can ask for one slowdance, but anymore interference will make you the laughingstock of your class. Trust me, a similar situation happened to my friend and we'll remember for the rest of our lives.

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A male reader, xnickx United States +, writes (25 March 2013):

xnickx agony auntUnless there's really something there that you're not mentioning that makes you unable to separate from her, you can do better.

As a guy who just recently moved on from high school to college, and was in a very similar situation, I can definitely tell you that it's not worth it to go through that humiliation. I had the benefit of my girl going behind my back after I left high school and went to college. I never have to see her, the guy she went behind my back with, or the people I made a fool of myself in front of by defending her and telling everyone, "they're just friends" again.

From the looks of things, you don't have that advantage.

I would advise against doing anything rash or for revenge, but be smart. I think you know what you need to do.

In any case,

Best of luck

Nick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

You see the evidence in front of you when you saw both of them together in the lunch room.

Go ask another girl out to the prom and move forward.

If nobody wants to go with you then you missed the boat. Nothing wrong with being honest but you should of told her nothing official until a specific time. Then at time if she said what ever then you would of known her true intent.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

im sorry, she is not that much into you bro. dump her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

I know you love her dearly but it is clear that something is going on. Regardless if she has feelings for this guy or not, you need to let her go. You should find someone else to take to the prom, ask a nice girl who you'll have a fun time with - even just as friends. If your GF has a problem with this, then you know she's conflicted about her feelings. If she doesn't, it's time to end the relationship. A GF should want to go with you, and if you can't go, should go with her friends, not another guy. If it turns out you can go, she should immediately tell everyone and go with you. Want to know a trick? Don't say much, either say, 'that's fine, I'm going with someone else' and that's it. Going on and on puts you in a bad place. Be the bigger person and just find another date - hopefully permanently. This girl is bad news, and will continuously make you wonder about what's really going on. You'll be soo much better off without her! Please trust me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

This is probably going to be hard to take, but it sounds as if she doesn't consider you her boyfriend. I think the most dignified thing you could do now is let her go and tell her you don't want to date her anymore.

Why aren't you going to prom? You didn't explain why. If this is a choice on your part, she might equally think you don't care about her and she might just be moving on. If this were the case, I wouldn't blame her.

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