| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has a married friend that won't stop hitting on her. He is married and he and his wife are expecting a child. He constantly sends text messages to my girlfriend; from work and several when drunk after work at the bar. This upsets my girlfriend, but when I have suggested that she might want to sever contact with him (and that it be HER choice to, no ultimatums) and that he isn't much of a friend, she says that he is harmless, and lets it continue, or says she doesn't want to talk about it. It was really bad at one point, and she said that she would end all contact with him... but it still continues. I feel like calling the police and saying that this guy is basically stalking her, or take some kind of action on my own. At the same time, it makes me wonder why she lets it continue.
View related questions:
drunk, stalking, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): Sounds like you and your gf are just dancing around this issue and it's not producing results. Judging by your second post on this issue, this has got out of hand. It's time to get tough. Cut all contact. There are boundaries in both these committed relationships, that are being seriously breached, here. This married guy is a cad with no character...and he's way out of line. What kind of low-down slime is willing to 'step out' on his pregnant wife? I am glad you are discerning your gf's behaviours. Her words aren't matching up. They are telling me that she's finding it difficult to fulfill her first commitment, which is to you. If she won't take care of the 'problem' you may have to make this an either/or situation. How she responds to that, will tell you where her comittments and loyalties lay. I would tell her that and tell her you are withdrawing all contact with this man and you expect her to do the same. Give this problem back to her and tell her what you want. The only reason she's doing this is because she feels safe in a relationship with you and you are permitting it. If she refuses, you make this plain and simple. Tell her-she can have him or you. But not both of you. Perhaps then, she will wake-up and discover what life will be like without a loving, committed man by her side. There is nothing like an interested 3rd party circling and waiting to come in for the kill. Knowing this will continue to make it difficult to for your gf fully commit and give her best of everything to you. Get rid the ass today and have a serious chat with her. By the way, does his wife have any idea what's going on? Out of all this, she has my most sympathy. My heart goes out to her and that baby. A good lesson to learn here..be careful with whom you choose to marry and begin a family with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf it were just 'friendly' I would leave it alone, but this 'friend' has already said that he would leave his wife and expecting child for my girlfriend.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (1 March 2006):
 She likes the attention. She's probably not going to act on it but is a little needy. The guy is a jerk. Make sure she knows that. This is how many people take the first step in the wrong direction.
...............................
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 March 2006):
 Because secretly she likes it, she feels flattered but does not want any kind of relationship with this guy other than the texts.
I suspect he may want more though and this could present problems in the future.
What she tells you may not be strictly true and so you should not interferre in any way.
...............................
|
