A
male
age
18-21,
targ489
writes:This may be immature, but so be it. My girlfriend was casted as a whore in a play she is performing in. She asked me beforehand how I would feel about her running around stage in merely her underwear. I told her right off the bat, I really don't approve of that, is there anyway that can be avoided? She must not have said anything and now will be performing like so, she later adds that she will be kissing another guy, more than likely passionately. This really bugs me and I am not going to be the one to sit there and call that cheating, because it is merely her acting it out, but I just would like to know how I should go about this. Should I tell her that it bugs me? If so, how? Or should I just completely ignore it and bottle it up? Or what? I mean I don't want to get angry, but it really bugs me.
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female
reader, always.you +, writes (14 January 2008):
 well it is just acting i mean if you think about it there are tons of married actors and actresses that have to do it everyday all the time but there loved ones have to know that it means nothhing so you have to trust he but do tell her that it does kinda make you feel uncomfortable but that your not going to stop he from something shes loves to do
A
male
reader, targ489 +, writes (13 January 2008):
targ489 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all very much for responding and giving me such great advice. I am going to talk to her and let her know that it bugs me, but I am hoping like a few of you said that she will be okay with my uneasiness about the situation and try and comfort me, she is that type of girl so I am sure she won't mind. I do kind of have to step back and know that she means nothing by it and watch what a great show she will make of it. Thank you all very very much! =]
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (13 January 2008):
 I agree with Baby Duck. Maybe after you see the performance you'll realize it's nothing, just good fun. I've been in alot of plays, and dance shows and believe me it's just a creative outlet so allow her the freedom to express herself and she will be more centered and less rebellious toward you. Just think about how Hollywood people must feel when their mates have to do an all-out sex scene with a totally hot actor! We sometimes forget that they are real people too, with real relationships behind the scenes, a real boyfriend or husband who may be cringing while he watches his wife do a nude scene, or passionately kiss another man because the script calls for it!
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (13 January 2008):
 Don't assume she did not say anything. It makes sense that her character is running around in her underwear and passionately kissing a guy. Most writers and directors do not take kindly to actors telling them how to change the show. Actors are usually told to do it as written or be replaced.
Of course, this bugs you. Of course you should tell her. Holding your feelings in is not good for the relationship. Speak honestly and kindly because to do otherwise is not good for the relationship, either, not to mention damaging to the individuals in the relationship.
People often think that 'if s/he really loved me, s/he would or would not do this ...' and, to some degree, that is understandable. However, an actress needs to act. When a person denies their needs (do NOT confuse that with wants ... big difference) for the sake of a relationship, the relationship is doomed. If you need to have a girlfriend that does not run around in her underwear and passionately kissing other men, even if it is on stage, that is a perfectly legitimate need. No one should criticize you for that. It's just that you two will have to break up if you cannot find a way to accept one another's needs.
So, the healthy options are: you accept that she's an actress and she accepts that you are uncomfortable with some aspects of her acting. Either you will get through this, or you won't. It's not easy, but it's quite simple.
Best wishes to you both.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 Is your g/f willing and comfortable to act in that play which calls for those actions? If she wants to act in that play , there is nothing you can do to stop her.She wants to prove her acting ability and talents. It is only once and you will have to be open minded and take it in your stride. You can express your reservations about it and thats all you can do.
If you are going to make it an issue, your relationship may suffer.You just have to stick with her decision whether you like it or not. There is no choice for you . Think of it only as play acting.
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