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My girlfriend won't swallow. Can I talk her around to seeing it my way?

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Question - (11 May 2005) 92 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2010)
A , anonymous writes:

hiya, I was just wondering. I have been going out with my gilfriend for 3 years and I really want her to swallow my cum. Are there any ways in whichI can get her to do this? Thanx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010):

c'mon dude, am a guy and i could tell you this is not necessary. your girlfriend is not some whore in the street willing to swallow semen down he throat for some $$$. she is with you because she loves you and respect you and if you have that already then why ask for more, specifically, why ask for something as unnecessary as swallowing. I'm surprised that she actually allows you to cum in her mouth...thats already alot! enjoy you girlfriend, but respect her boundaries as she respects yours. I wouldn't like drinking down half-a-liter of squirt from my gf's vag either...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010):

Hrmmm. Let me see, have YOU ever tasted semen? Try it and tell the world what you think. Then think of what the big deal of this whole "swallowing" thing is. Have fun 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010):

It's interesting what guys say they have to have or really want from a girl. What would you say, gentlemen, if your girlfriend said that she wants you to be the recipient of a golden shower, and that you had to swallow every drop? What if she equates "love" to you doing that like some guys are equating with a woman's willingness to swallow?

Why does it matter if the woman swallows? An orgasm is an orgasm, whether it's vaginal, oral, handjob, or fleshlight. So what if the woman spits out your load, much less takes it into her mouth?? Sex isn't about just your load - it's about making love. Porn is NOT reality. They don't talk about diseases, foul tastes, men who ejaculate prematurely, or relationships.

To the guys who equate going down on a girl to a girl swallowing, most women don't shoot an entire mouthful of mucous-y snotty liquid that smells like dirty dishrags into a man's throat. I also know that as a rule, women are cleaner in their habits than men, who tend to be sweatier and shower in much less time with only a cursory scrubbing of their genitals, if at all.

For a man to break up with a woman because she doesn't swallow is as superficial as a woman who breaks up with a man for not earning $100,000/year. What is it that *really* attracted you to your woman? Was it because she walked up to you and whispered into your ear "Hey Stud - I swallow!" or is it because she's beautiful, kind, and caring, happens to think the world of you, and makes you feel like you can accomplish anything??

I've been married 12 years to the greatest man ever born in the world. There's plenty I do for him without having to swallow his fluids. I do not pressure him to swallow mine, and our sex life is mutually satisfying and has lots of laughter and fun and excitement for both of us.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

I personally think its fine.

My boyfriend eats fruits, veggies, etc.

just so it tastes better for me.

I swallowed after two years of dating,

and it was my choice.

maybe shes not ready yet.

dont rush her, she'll never do it then.

3L.B

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

I personally think its fine.

My boyfriend eats fruits, veggies, etc.

just so it tastes better for me.

I swallowed after two years of dating,

and it was my choice.

maybe shes not ready yet.

dont rush her, she'll never do it then.

3L.B

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A male reader, stagger Canada +, writes (1 April 2010):

I married my second, and current, wife 10 years ago. She had an aversion to giving head at all because of some past experiences. Swallowing was not even on the radar. I had alomst always been with girls who gave head and swallowed.

My wife is super horny and never get much sex from her ex. She has always had alot from me, inclduing having her pussy eaten regularly. After a few months together she started to give head, but was very clear that she will eat or drink anything BUT (read: not come). . . she never said come but I knew she meant it.

One night early in the relationship we were in a 69 position and she made me come. She swallowed. She has swallowed my come ever since. We have sex once a day and no matter what position we are in since the first swallow I pull out and come in her mouth. Sometimes I ask her if I can just jerk off in her mouth and away we go - fully clothed.

This week a close friend was at our house and she blew both of us and took both loads in her mouth - and swallowed.

My point is that this woman found sucking cock, much less having 2 loads of come shot in her mouth, revolting and now truly enjoys it. She is treated like a princess in bed and now gives head and swallows alot of come (mine), and once a close friend's.

A willing woman whom is treated well will be as accomodating as a willing man who is treated well.

I might add that I am a man penning this story and it is not a Penthouse Forum pitch. If you are with a woman who wants to fuck and have her pussy eaten, and you look after her, she will look after you (and even a friend on a rare occasion).

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A female reader, Appelle United States +, writes (18 March 2010):

I did not read all of the comments because there was a lot so if someone already said this I am sorry.

I love my husband’s cum and I think you should remind her that it is part of you and in loving you she should love all you, cumpletely. This was mentioned, try not to eat spicy foods. Also, work up it. After you ejaculate at other times try rubbing a little bit on her lips and have her lick it off. There really is a lot of protein in semen, so tell her of all the health benefits. You could even try tasting it in front of her showing her that it is not something that you think is degrading. And, really, think of all those poor little sperms that will be flushed down the toilet! Sad.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

well me and my gf have been dating for over two years. she used to give me head every once in awhile. she would never swallow tho. now she wont do it at all. says she doesnt like it it feels lk a chore. i always complimented her on it but she doesnt lk it so she doesnt do it. ill do anything to her and wutever she asks but when it comes down to me its all about her. be happy u get head cuz i havnt had it in 8 months now and im dying. i dont know what to do but im really sexually frustrated

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010):

Would you swallow a mouth full of cum? I thought not.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

I had a gf that swallowed every time after the first time she gave me a blowjob and got it in her mouth and said now what? I said swallow it.

We used condoms before that, but then it was pull out and let her suck me until I came in her mouth.

Damn knowing her, I am married to a girl who won't suck or do anything like that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010):

This is for all the women that have responded about it being all about taste. The taste of a mans ejaculatory fluids is directly related to what the man is eating and drinking. If your mans spunk tastes bad, than feed him different food. And yes, if a man drinks enough beer he may give a woman a yeast infection. And god knows how easy women can get those damn things.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

It's an ongoing debate. I think women should learn. women think that's sexist. But a blowjob isn't a blowjob if the woman doesn't swallow. How would women feel if thier partners decided that when being given oral, right when they were about to the man just stopped and said 'it tastes funny'. Sex is all about sacrifices. Women that claim it's degrading annoy practically every man. A man that says he agrees is lying because his partner said no chance. It's not degrading. I admit it's unfortunate. but that's about as much sympathy as I have.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010):

What are you some kind of freak dude? You've been watching too much porn. Girls dont want to swallow your load no more than they want to swallow your piss. It's degrading. No guy should ever ask a girl to do such a thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010):

My fiance' loves it but the texture and taste GAG the hell out of me - to the point I am vomiting. I have tried candies, flavored lotions, whiped cream stuff - still it gags me - it is like swallowing a HUGE mouthfull of watery snot not to mention the texture. (already ready to gag just the thought of snot in my mouth)

Maybe that is something you should think about is seeing it from her point of view.

On another hand it might help if you are going down on her all the time! She might be a little more willing to please you if you are doing EVERYTHING in your power to arouse her and make her sexually happy.

You can't force her to try it all you can do is ask and if she says no then let it be - don't put her on a guilt trip - there is probably a good reason she said no.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010):

I haven't always swallowed. All it took was a persistent, undemanding man. He made it 'my' idea. Once I tried it and saw how much he enjoyed it, I wanted to do it all the time. Most women want sex and want it with no inhibitions, but you guys have a little work there to make us want you. It's not the money, trips ~ while nice, but most women these days can take care of themselves. Any guilt-ridden comments are major turnoffs. It's the touch, the affection that drives me crazy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

I am a female and have only swallowed my boyfriends cum twice. The first time was a disaster so some tips - Make sure you are not lying down when you do it. Be sitting on the edge of a couch or something so it does not run out her nose!!

Make sure she is comfortable, tell her that it's something you really wan't and would apprecieate, even jsut to try once and see how she goes.

Maybe taking some sexual privladges away from her and say, if you won't swallow then I don't really want to be eating your juices either!! But be polite:)

Make sure you don't force her into doing soething she does want to.

And the last thing I can think of is wait!:)

I hope this helped a little :S

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 January 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntWow this is an old chestnut! A blast from the past....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010):

Don't force her into anything, it will get you no where fast. If you really need her to swallow in order to feel loved or validated, tell her this! Explain it's not just a way to get off, and that you'd appreciate it greatly if she did support you. I've had a lot of bad expierences with oral ( the guy cramming himself down my throat, holding the back of my head, forcing swllowing) and if she has too you'll have to make an extra effort to show you're willing to control yourself and will meet her halfway to make it a mutually enjoyable expierence that isn't about one partner dominating the other, but about wanting eachother to feel good. Oh, and to all the posters saying only femnazis think it's degrading, news flash, we girls have always been made to believe sluts and whores do nasty things like swallowing and anal, even if it isn't. If it weren't for all the negative Stigmas attatched (established by both Males and females) there wouldn't be such an issue, so please stop fingering the blame and get over yourself.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010):

I have no problems getting all girls I have had relationships to swallow. I believe your answer is in taking baby steps. First get her comfortable with you coming in her mouth. Gradually work your way up to it. I have been a relationship for three years and she has swallowed every load from day one. Even females who have never done it before my system usuallly works.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

To all the women on here saying that it's degrading/humiliating/etc. or that if he breaks up with you over this, you don't need him, this is for you. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years also, and I'd like her to swallow, but she won't because she thinks it's humiliating/degrading/etc. p />

I've got a good job, I buy her things she wants, I give her massages, take her on trips, open the door for her, etc etc. All I'm asking for (use that loosely as I asked once and got shot down and haven't asked since) is for her to swallow maybe a tablespoon of liquid every now and again?

So, this is a guy's thinking, and you should listen to this. It might not taste great, but it's not like you women taste great every single time we do it. I do it because I want to make my girlfriend happy. So when she won't swallow for me, it ultimately translates to this: She can't tolerate swallowing a tablespoon of liquid now and again in order to make me happy. When you realize how stupid that sounds, us guys begin to think: Hmmm... Maybe she just doesn't love me. And that just starts things downhill and towards breakup.

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A male reader, fat b gone United States +, writes (6 July 2009):

How badly do you want her to do it and what's it worth? Think it through before you take advice off the internet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008):

You can try and talk to her about why she won't, and why you'd like her to. Maybe she's had a bad prior experience. I know an abusive childhood - no details here, just trust me on it - kept me from wanting to do that for a long time, and I'm talking decades. I had to get very comfortable with myself AND my HUSBAND first, and then we worked at it together. I got to the point where I really wanted to, and we got it going! I do it - I love it - but that's ME. Can't tell you what someone else should or should not do - there are too many possible variables to make such a decision for someone else. I'm a different generation from all the other posters, but folks, there's really not much new under the sun..........

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

The girls are being totally unrealistic and seeing it as the guy attempting to 'degrade' or 'subjugate' the woman. He's not, he loves her! When a girl does this we don't think 'you dirty little whore, I have no respect for you', well, not if its someone he loves.

Its more like, men are supposed to be dominant, and if a guy spends most of his day going to movies you like, bringing you to fancy places you like, going shopping with you, listening to you complain about work or your friends etc etc then you should let him feel like a man once in a while and please.

That's what my ex was like. The better I was to her the 'better' she was to me. Its like Billy Connolly says, 'a woman needs to feel loved to have sex, and a man need sot have sex to feel loved'. Women get guys (well the decent guys anyway) to do all kinds of s**t, because they feel loved on an emotional level. You should try to please your man because you love him, so long as it is not something COMPLETLEY outlandish like a cleveland steamer or something, but then that all depends on your boundaries. He will feel loved because of it and be even sweeter to you. Plus there's less calories than a tictac! My advice to the guy is the same as some of the more realistic and mature women here;

do something for her that you dislike, it probably won't be sexuals though, but it doesn't have to be. SHow her you love her by taking her shopping or watching Sex and the City with her or rubbing her feet etc. Then just bring it up subtly and calmly, not pushy, and explain to her that its just something you would enjoy and that you still respect her but that its the same as when you take her shopping, you don't enjoy it but it makes her happy and you love her. that should work.

Women: grow up!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

to the guy who swallowed his own 'stuff' to get his gf to do it.....yuck! Never ever ever ever ever! Just tell her it tastes like chocolat, white chocolat.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008):

look my fiance wont swallow hell she wont even give me oral if i ask in are relationship oral sex is a treat a once in a while thing we do cuz we love each other. would i like her to swallow sure do i push the issue sometimes

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A male reader, bibeememo United States +, writes (13 September 2008):

it really depends on what the guy is eating. i had a girlfriend you used to want to swallow. but when my diet was crap she would comment on how horrible it taste. when i began drinking more water and eating more vegetables she actually commented on how sweet it taste! crazy but true

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

Does it matter? You cant make someone change their mind or do what you want them to. If someone wants to do something they will. But if you love her then why the hell would you make her do something she dosent want to do? I think you'r an idiot to be honest.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008):

Friend;

Considerations and viewpoints are the easiest things you can change in a human being, beleive it or not.

It has nothing to do with "Have to's"

Nothing to do with "mustn't's"

Some girls will opiniate on it as "degrading".

Others as "Altruistic, giving"

Others just "like it"

All is in the viewpoint.

As soon as you get into FORCE: "You must, you ought to" Bicker bicker bleh bleh. You came a cropper.

All is in the communication, what you like, the creation of the relationship with her. If she would see that you would really experience pleasure if she does and that you love her and she's your whole world and voice on the "not too bad" point of view, etc., etc., you might create understanding.

Yes, understanding. Not submition, not propitiation, not domination, not nullification.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

There's no way to get this girl to swallow you. Accept it and move on. Either get another girlfriend who will swallow, get a girlfriend on the side, or buy a hooker.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007):

i think she is not confortable with ur cum!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

Jeez. Look, I go with the -you can't 'force' her- crowd but *some* of the girls (feminists) on this forum are living in cloud cuckoo land. You think in this day and age that everything revolves around pleasing the girl in a relationship? Wrong.

How is it that guys have to please you girls with all the touchy feely BS, but we shouldn't ask for anything in return or we're being unreasonable or 'infringing' on your rights?

You get p1ssed if they don't get you a valentines card (I personally don't as I see it as commercialised BS praying on female insecurities). Hell, you even use what you get on valentines day as bragging rites to your friends! How shallow is that?

Anyway, back onto point; Guys like this sort of stuff. It's a guys way of feeling that you accept him physically - and that does matter a great deal. You know how you feel when he takes you out to dinner? or books a surprise weekend away for you both? - that's how a guy feels when you do this for him. Wanted, and like he's the most important thing in your life.

There are a whole bunch of outright expectations on a guy. He meets you out of work, picks you up when you've been on a night out and drives you home to make sure you get home safe, opens doors for you, carries the shopping about, takes his coat off when it's cold out and freezes his ass off so that you are nice and snug. Give this some thought for a moment, what wuold you think if you saw a guy asking his gf to hold the door for him, carry the heavy shopping while he carried nothing, pick him up or escort you through town at night and be the one watching his back? Sounds unreasonable doesn't it?

And like many of the more mature and balanced individuals on here have said, he does it for you.

Nuff said.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

My girlfriend said she hated the taste and was totally closed minded and decided about it. She always said how she would never let me come in her mouth and I never, ever brought it up, but we were finally talking with some other folks about it and she said that used the reasoning that a guy would never swallow his own so why should she? So the next time we were together i came on her, did just what you are thinking and it totally changed her mind. And all I had to do is to just do it once...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007):

The feminist agenda tells us that girls swallowing is a degrading act and should have no place in a healthy relationship. That's simply bullshit. It's about continuity, texture changes during 'the point of no return' can fuck up your concentration or worse, your orgasm. This whole 'it's nasty" thing is also a load of bollocks(lol), get over it. I've eaten peri roaches in Malaysia (Perisphaerus-foul little bugs that stink when you crunch them) now THAT'S nasty; ejaculate is just unpleasant. Granted, I ate those roaches for nourishment but come on people, it's about pleasing your partners! Hopefully some of you will wisen up. Cheers.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007):

Pal, it all depends on passion, love, committment. hest of lovemaking and most importantly, how she's feelin about herself! some ladies find this degrading, ... ofcourse if it's just sex!.. so love her, respect her, enjoy her. let her know the she's amazing, encourage her self confidence in what she's doing ...up to this point! love is a doing word, and that does not mean Intercourse only! play, laugh, dance, smile...leave her notes, flowers... SHE'S GOTTA KNOW THAT SHE'S YOUR WORLD! She'll do anything for you...Yes ANYTHING!! love life!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007):

Why do we continue replying to this post? I mean, I'm sure the guy who wrote this is either dead or not with the same girl who "won't swallow"...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007):

Not sure why guys are so obsessed with their women swallowing. Mine right now, won't even let me come in her mouth. You know what. I don't care. It's a special treat when she takes me in her mouth. The rest of our sex life is amazing. If she's not comfortable giving me head, so be it. If she does, and she doesn't want to swallow, so be it. I'm finished with it, it's hers now. She can swallow, spit, gargle, or wipe it on the pillow case. I don't really care. I love going down on her, if she doesn't enjoy going down on me, so what...she's worth that little "sacrafice?" for the other fun we have.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007):

Of course you can, why don´t you let her play with it. I did that, let her give it a name, and she will get more attached to your dick. Make out while you touch her clitoris, and surely she will be hornier. That is when you should try to get her to talk to your penis and stuff, while you continue masturbating her. good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007):

If you want her to swollow just talk to her i mean if you loved her you would not keep secrects. Tell her how you fell

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006):

no..........

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006):

Any man who would dump a woman for not swollowing is childish, immature and very self centred and does not deserve a girl friend. If a girl really doesnt want to do it she sould not be made to do it. Personally I do not like giving blow jobs and i dont expect a bloke to give me head either. And if the man cannot deal with that I am far better off without him.

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A female reader, lisa_01 Australia +, writes (30 May 2006):

lisa_01 agony auntWow i have never seen a post go on and on for this long before, for all we know the poster of the question may not even be in that relationship anymore lol.Poor guy i hope he did'nt tick the "Send alerts when your question is replied too?" or else his probably had his inbox flooded with all the answers over the last 12 months.

Anyway i though id add my two bob aswell :), well first off you cant make any female or male do anything they dont want, its ok to ask but if they say no accept it,dont try and fource it or make them feel guilty for not doing it. As a female i do enjoy receiving and giving, my bf and myself would give each other equal amounts of oral sex when we first meet, after time my bf started not too give as much as he recieved and now i give maybe 2 times a week and i have not received for almost a year now , iv never asked him to do it or pushed him, and im not worried or hurt and i certainly would never leave him over it,so the people who said that if a female didnt get oral sex fom there bf they would probably leave them ,that is a load of rubbish.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006):

And now a year later...

8]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006):

This is such bullshit.

All the so called women here need to get a clue. You expect your guys to eat you (which doens't always taste great either) and men are expected to just keep on slurping when you start squirting and cumming everywhere, yet you have the gall to bitch when we ask you to return the favor??

Grow up. Sex is about pleasing your partner and if he's done it for you then the only fair thing to do is open wide. If a girl can't/won't do that for me then its clear she's not really into me and she can take a hike, and all the women out there going, "what a jerk," can fuck off since it was a woman who told me that. She basically said that if a chick is totally into a guy she'll have no problem swallowing his cum and I agree as I'm the same way with women. I love my g/f to death and so I love her ejaculate no matter what it tastes like for the simple reason that its hers! If you love your partner *totally* you shouldn't have any problem doing this for them, male or female. I love swallowing my gf's cum, and she loves doing the same for me. Taste is irrelivant, it's a question of love and devotion.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2006):

I love how all the women answer with such finality, it's always tough sh*t or you eat it, see how you like it. I have been in two long term relationships in my life. My first GF loved to give oral and swallow. My current is learning the ropes of oral and had bad experience with being forced to swallow (prior to being w/ me) hence, she refuses to swallow now. As a man confident in my heterosexuality I can say, yes, I have tasted my own and yes it doesn't taste like chocolate milk, but the issue is not taste. It is your love for one another. We taste yours, you taste ours. Female secretions don't exactly taste great either, but when you love the one your with you establish a subconscious block on that. My only advice is subtle persistence. That along with the usual, (eat fruit, wash thoroughly, go down on her without using it as a bartering technique) and you might get her to come around. All you cast iron b*tches out there with your feminist ultimatums, BLOW ME!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006):

I have the same issue with my gf. She says she gets sick, because of the taste. But my argument is that her juices arn't quite the necter of the gods either. They are usually sour or bitter, and she also likes it when i lick her ass which i also dont have a problem doing ( cause im a freak Maybe?) I dont know and all the women saying that maybe men should try thier own come first. Do we make you finger your self and suck on your fingers before we will go down on you NO!So why sould we taste our own come. But i didnt know about the eating sweet fruits will make it taste sweet so i guess thats the only good advice out of the whole disscusion. Maybe that will help

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2006):

My GF swallows, but I've alsways felt that in the interests of fair play, it is only fair that you show an equal eagerness to swallow hers.

One thing you might like to think about doing is to cum on her stomach/breasts, then eagerly go down and kiss her there. Make sure some is on your face and lips when you come up and kiss her and see how she gets on with a small sample! It's very sexy for women to know that you are Ok with the taste/texture. I quite like mine and will share it when ever possible!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2006):

u cant make someone swallow they have to be comfortable with themself before...u should be happy some men dont even get oral sex!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006):

swallow your own spunk in front of ur girl and she will see it turns u on and she will swallow it then

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006):

Just make it seem like an accident, then make sure she knows how good it made you feel...;)

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A female reader, ask aunty heather +, writes (1 January 2006):

if you were practicing safe sex and were wearing a condom it woulodnt be an issue. you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink! dont force the issue upon your girlfriend or she will leave you!

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A female reader, Tinkz South Africa +, writes (22 December 2005):

Tinkz agony auntLook,

Why men like it when a women swallows beats me, but please understand that there is nothing worses than thick slimy liquid running down the back of your throat, and if you really want her to, make sure you CLEAN, don't go to the toilet just before. YUK!

Yes I may swallow at times, but thats entirely up to the mood.

Try and create a fun and daring mood. while she is busy with you, play with her, get her excited, tell her what she is doing feels good.

Boost her confidence, nothing works better than adding to a womens ego.

When they say flattery will get you knowwhere, they lied!

(just don't use cheap pick up lines)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005):

I give my bf head jobs all the time and i enjoy swallowing the cum mostly because i know the satisfaction it gives my bf. I really dont see what the big deal is, when i first became sexually active the first thing i wanted to do was give a guy a great head job, but my advice to you is that you cant force her to do anything yet i do not think there is any harm in you asking her and saying something like "how would you feel about swallowing my cum just this one time just so you can experience it" and then also tell her about how you find it attractive and what it does to a guy and maybe try to compare it to something so she understands where your coming from. I think it is important that in a relationship that a women at least do this for her man, i am not a guy and i do not understand what it does for a guy but my bf told me it is important to a guy if his partner does this, it does something speaical for them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):

you can't force her to do something she doeasn't want. if she doesn't like it leave it respect her feelings and do what she feels comfortable

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005):

If she hasn't seen it your way after three years of no swallowing, then she's very stubborn--and perhaps with good reason. Does she regard swallowing as inherently degrading? Has she had some sort of terrible swallowing experience in the past? You'd know better than me. All I can say is that if the "issue" of swallowing is among your biggest worries, you're actually in a solid relationship. Not ideal, but solid--and that's a pretty good accomplishment in this sordid day and age.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005):

Ask why she doesn't swallow. In my experience of giving head you have some really vomiting encounters. Have you tasted your cum before? Some cum taste revolting, and others taste quite okay. If you do taste yuck, maybe look at your diet.

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A female reader, iggyzap +, writes (2 December 2005):

maybe you can meet half way and agree that you can jiz in her mouth and she can spit it out. ohh and eat sweet fruits and avoid onions and garlic, things like that. what you eat affects the taste of your love juice

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005):

The only way is to let her do it on her own. If you've been trying to talk her into this for almost three years now, then chances are, she doesn't want to do it! It's important to understand her, and what she wants, even if you dont quite agree. Here's some insight for you, CUM IS GROSS, and women who actually swallow it are brave!!! Also cum isn't really what you would call nutritious, and ejaculating in the mouth isn't really healthy, so just food for thought. ;) -ALEY KAT

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A female reader, Jenna United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2005):

Jenna agony auntTry a night of full-on romance, dinner somewhere special, dress well, flowers, champagne everything, whatever she likes she gets including lots of oral sex from you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2005):

hey dude, here is the answer, cum in her mouth, and YOU swallow it first to show her your commitment. oh, you dont want to? then dont ask her to.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005):

I'm in a similar situation myself at the moment, So I can't offer advice, but I just want to point out to the ones saying that You're wrong for even bringing it up (Namely the women), how would they feel if their Guy/Girl refused to do Oral to them if they didn't like the taste? I'm sure they'd be pretty miffed. Give the guy a break, obviously he loves her and he's thinking that maybe she don't love him as much.

You can't blame him for feeling insecure!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005):

Many from both males and females will ask each other to do tasks, sexual and non-sexual, that one may not want to do. Uncomfortable, or just unwilling.

If she is unwilling to do so right now, do something for her that you normally wouldn't, and that may just turn her mind into giving a try or even actually doing it.

As a tip, eat PLENTY of sweet fruits during the day prior to the act, as it will sweeten it and she may be more willing then as well.

Another one that was missed here is... Try flavoured condoms. She can't swallow with that, since her giving oral sex is mostly something for you and and not her you'll be at least giving something for her as well. I have to admit, I personally haven't gotten flavoured condoms as they aren't sold normally at 7-11 as they only carry normal ones. I just feel weird walking into those sex shoppes. Sorry got carried away.

Overall there really isn't a way to make her or force her, but ways of possibly convincing her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005):

Ah, a fun issue. I'm personally a fan of swallowing. I enjoy it, and I think it's VERY sexy. I know girls who don't swallow though. I think that she should at least try it. A lot of girls here are saying that you have no right to ask it of her. Bull shit. Girls ask a LOT of men, and something that small shouldn't be slighted. If it's important to you then that's how it is. Emotional relationship are based on PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS. Just ask her to try. If she can't, or it feels weird, leave it at that or move on. It sounds so crass.

Some of you girls need to lighten up!

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A male reader, Torn +, writes (2 November 2005):

This is all good and well but if she won't then you don't and how fun is that huh people?? Sounds like a really awesome sex life huh?? "No I won't...then I won't either"...yea' sounds great. If you women do not want to swallow then at least compromise and spit but not doing it all is totally ridiculous and a bunch of BS!! I do it for my woman all the time and guess what?? She does it for me..why? Because we love each other and it feels incredible, but hers doesn't shoot so I actually get a below the nose facial:)!! Come on...stop all this BS and just do it, but only if it is with someone that you are serious about and not some guy/girl you took home from the club.

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A reader, schlottjl United States +, writes (15 October 2005):

schlottjl agony auntTo all those reading this old Q. I am seriously hoping that the last few guys are kidding. Otherwise, I fear for any woman who dates these jerks.

JIK you guys want to know the real truth- MOST women will not swallow. If you fancy forcing her to do it, you either will not get another BJ until you leaver her (Moderately unhealthy chick....) will instantly lose her and the trust of the girls she tells... (Healthy and less than you deserve. Or, she folds and dies slowly a little each day the abuse continues. Of course, she only does this if she is used to and expects abuse.

I have polled hundreds on this subject and over 80% liken it to swallowing urine. So if you will drink her pee, she might see your devotion to the act and so long as she at least gets a mint, MAYBE....

But even as I would go to the point on just before, ask yourself why you have to have this one thing. Oral sex thru ejaculation is a one sided proposition with nothing but cost for the girl. You do come off as selfish if you are not willing to degrade yourself equally. And I fear that is what at least this questioner and the last few guys are getting off on.... Ladies keep that in mind when doing something you are against. To push so hard for that extra act, is a red flag that you have entered a place where love has nothing to do with it. While you may think that doing this will bring you closer, I guarantee, it will cause him to disrespect you even more. You will have become a slut to him. This is only a test. Passing the test is resisting doing anything you are not comfortable doing. If he dumps you for it, consider yourself informed you were only a sex toy and not a human being to him in the first place.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005):

Why is this such a difficult issue?

You want her to? Then ask her to. If she doesn't want to, then she doesn't have to. But all that is incredibly selfish on both your parts.

Very simple, if your girlfriend asked you to do something, then do it! It does NOT matter that you like it or not. It does NOT matter that it tastes bad or not. It does NOT matter that it "grosses" you out. It does NOT matter that you have the right to say no. None if that matters!!! You do it because you want to be with her and would do ANYTHING to be with her. The fact that she asks has NO bearing on that she loves you or not, it only shows what she likes - and what she likes is YOUR responsibilty.

UNLESS what is being asked is 1) morally wrong 2)REALLY unhealthy, 3)physically impossible to do.

So if you want her to do it, then I cannot fathom any reason why she should not do it once in a while.

BUT...remember, you had NOT better say no when she asks you to eat her out while she's on the rag!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2005):

you can't! she doesn't have to if she doesn't one to. it's stupid to force her or even think to long against her desision.(besides it is a nasty habit!)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2005):

If you cum while youre in the back of her throat then she won't taste it anyways! That's my favorite way to do it when I give head. My guy says it feels awesome and I don't have to taste it!

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A female reader, Delila +, writes (31 August 2005):

Ask your girl friend if she would mind if you could come on her face or breasts or stomach instead of in her mouth. She could still bring you to orgasm with her mouth but avoid the embarassment and rejection you may feel when she has to spit it out. Seminal fliud is actually very good for the skin.

Delila

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005):

Here's your answer......leave her. You've invested 3 years into this woman and she can't bring herself to swallow your semen? Unacceptable. The last time I checked, when giving oral sex the man doesn't even have a choice, "drink up buddy". Trust me...if the tables were turned, she'd leave you. Never physically force a woman to do anything, you're above that. Just let her know that you have been more than understanding with this issue, and if she is not willing to at least attempt the act, then apparantly pleasuring you is not one of her priorities. Remember one thing, you are a man with undeniable needs. A woman should compliment, not complicate your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2005):

well pal, what you need to do is have some testicular fortitude. Next time when you feel like you're going to nut, grab her ears and paint her tonsils. The whole experience will leave her going... "WOW!, he knows how to take control of the situation"..and respect you for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2005):

This guy probably doesn't see a problem with swollowing cum. LMAO! suck it and see baby if you like it you swallow it! If you liked/loved/respected your girlfriend then you would respect her wishes!

By the way I love all the FEMALE answer to this :o) Nice Girl power!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2005):

Most people are unaware but usually the problem goes much deeper if there is an oral tug of war. It wont really make up for the other things he or she's done. If she doesn't swallow, what does she do? Is that enough? If she swallowed would that make everything equal? A lot of women swallow believing the man then owes them oral, or a valuable gift. Don't buy into it. Or, you could be like many women and demand oral sex if the relationship is to continue. For many women no cunnilingus is a "deal breaker" do the same to them :)

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A reader, carolyn +, writes (17 July 2005):

aw, poor guy..his girlfriend won't swallow....have some respect for her. if she doesn't want to do it, don't force her to do it...if she wanted u to do something u didn't want to do you wouldn't do it would ya.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2005):

If your girlfriend won't do it, the answer is simple: be a man and find another broad.

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (1 July 2005):

Please dont get a blow up doll! This sounds awful and I can't imagine how seeing your man with a blow up doll would be a turn on at all, I'd be sick!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2005):

You can always try one of those life-like blowjob dolls. First, let her stimulate you to the very edge. Then, when you are about to blow..*use the doll's mouth instead.* The more life-like, the doll..the better the experience. This may even add a new dimension, and turn her on visually; taking the pressure off her, to swallow. Experiment, play around with it; be creative. You just never know. As they say, two heads are better than one!...'so to speak'...and in the end, this may greatly 'relieve' your girlfriend, as well as yourself. Best of luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2005):

Obviously there arent many guys in this conversation. guess what — it totally makes a difference if a girl swallows. it feels so good and continuous. just imagine if some guy were rubbing you, and always right when you were about to climax he switched to a less preferable technique. the warmth and wetness of the mouth is incomparable. also, women taste funky too you know. but that's part of intimacy. let's be honest. sometimes the juice is thicker too. it can be thick and funky. but to satisfy my woman, i'll make that adjustment in my mind. i'll think of it being her juices, that are specific to her. if a woman wants to satisfy her man, she will swallow. there are no if ands or buts about it.

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A reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):

If the girl says no....then NO means NO !

There is an episode on Sex & the City about swallowing cum.

Kim Cattrall dates a guy who wants her to swallow his cum but she says "his spunk tastes like javex & fish"

Swallow a shooter of your own spunk...on the rocks!

If you enjoy it...then "CUM & GET IT"

Continue swallowing your own cum and stop hassling your poor girlfriend !

Obviously you don't LOVE her or cum would not be an issue.

I hope your girlfriend dumps your sorry ass.

Losers like you "Cum and Go"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2005):

Would you swallow clorox bleach if your girlfriend asked you to? No, didn't think so! In my opinion that's what it smells and tastes like! The only way she will see how much it means to you, is if you cum into her hand and taste some yourself. And just don't lick a tiny bit, swallow all that comes out onto her hand. After all, that's much she would be swallowing- a mouthful. It's GROSS? Hell yeah, it is! Just goes to show how much we women compromise ourselves to make you men happy. But you have to do something for her. Give and take, baby, give and take. Lots of luck, but I believe she has already made up her mind.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005):

Ok first find out why you want her to swallow it .. and then find out why she doesn't want to and if her reason doesn't seem " a good one " for you then I guess try and work around it and see if she'll try it .. personally I dont see what the difference is if she swallows or not. You dont get any pleasure when she does it .. so I don't see the point .. but then again I'm not a guy so yeah ..

best of luck

jess

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2005):

I don't blame her personally! I mean why does she have to do it? Is it really important!!! As long as you love her, nothing else should matter so deal with it!

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A reader, LoveDoctor +, writes (14 May 2005):

Do you know what it taste like it taste's like a salty kebab or pickled artichoke mash (not very nice) if she does this for you:

1)make sure you have washed

2)make sure you won't give her any STD's

3)give her something you don't like doing in return.

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A reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (12 May 2005):

Avoid dairy products such as milk, egg, cheese etc. this give cum a very foul taste. Apparently, fruits give it a sweet taste.

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A reader, Rainee United States +, writes (12 May 2005):

Rainee agony aunt If your gf isn't into doing oral, always take into consideration:

1) Be clean! Take a shower and rinse properly (and tell her that you did/do so). Nothing kills the mood like thinking "eww, did he just go to the bathroom...?"

2) Reciprocate. Sex should be give and take, not just give/give, or take/take. If she's doing something she really doesn't want to do, just for you, you should be willing to give her something in return. You know what I mean.

3) Misgivings. Oral sex can transmit STDs just like any other fun sexual encounter. If you haven't been tested, get it done now! I don't know about you, but I find it very sexy knowing that the guy I'm with isn't about to give me something that will kill me or make me miserable the rest of my life.

4) Positioning. Let her take the lead, she can find what's comfortable for her (and when she's comfortable, you're comfortable!) and it will keep you from inadvertantly gagging/choking her.

But from the way you word your question, it sounds like just the swallowing is the problem, and not the actual doing of the oral.

It mostly probably has to do with the smell and taste of the cum itself. Cum can come (no pun intended) in all textures and flavours - thin and bitter, creamy and sweet, on and on. What you eat can affect the smell/taste: avoid bitter stuff, like coffee. Go for sweets, like strawberries. Thickness has more to do with age, I think. (older=thinner?)

Let her have her own repetoire of flavoured lubes to help. Experimentation with those are key, as none are exactly the same.

The matter of your health can affect it too - my fiance was on a medication briefly which had the most unpleasant side effect of nasty cum. Honestly, if you can take some of your own cum (just a little, don't be chicken) and get a good whiff/taste and are just grossed by it, how can you expect her to swallow it?

She may be afraid the sudden rush of liquid might gag her - always warn her ahead of time of what's coming (ok, pun intended) and have her, at least for the first time, place just the tip of your penis in her mouth, so she can control the amount that actually gets to the throat at a time. Not unlike drinking from a squirt bottle.

Remind her that you really love her (well, you've been together 3 years, I hope you do) and you want to share this fantasy of yours with her, and if she loves you the same, she'd at least give it a try (disclaimer: does not apply to criminal acts!) just as you'd try out any fantasy of hers.

And you could always just point out that because of pre-cum, she probably already has swallowed some of your cum. *You might just have to take that as consolation for a the fantasy.*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005):

Well I was the exact same way. My boyfriend wanted me to swallow because he would always get out of the mood because he blocked. So he told me that he loved me and that he thought that I could do it and we would see it the way that it happened at first.. so I gave him head and got him off and he came in my mouth. The trick is that your girlfriend knows what she is getting into. Just when you let her know that you are so so so close to blowing she should put your head really close to her tougne and then when you start to cum a lot then she should start to swallow. For the taste issue. Let her eat a mint mentos before you cum in her mouth and drink some water and she will be set. So try that and see what happens. And when she sees that it turns you on and it wasnt that bad I am sure that she would try again! Practise and encouragement makes perfect!!

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A reader, Annuescha +, writes (12 May 2005):

I know some kind of sweets they sell in sex shops, where you take one sweet or more before you give someone a b/j...it takes the weird taste out of your taste buds, maybe it can help!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005):

Your girlfriend probably wont swallow your cum because it is nasty. But, yet it might be because she really doesn't want to. If you really want to convince her to swallow your cum maybe you should try talking to her about what you want her to do while you and her are having sex, and she might consider doing it or you could ask her why she won't swallow your cum and try to convince her that cum is not that bad.

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A reader, Dotty +, writes (12 May 2005):

Hmm, well no, sorry but it really is a personel decision. Most girls are raised to think YUKKIE when it comes to swallowing. Be verrrry patient with her and subtly keep trying to get her to even try swallowing. Talking about it can be good to see just where her issues lie regarding it. The last thing you want is to turn her off completely, if she is at the blowjob point now be happy with it and maybe deeper into your relationship she will be eager to try it. Good Luck!

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (11 May 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntTry swallowing it yourself and then you can find out exactly what it tastes like. When you have done this, then decide whether you would wish to inflict this on your girlfriend.

Seriously, if she hasn't swallowed it in the last three years, chances are that she either doesn't like the taste or simply doesn't want to do it which really is her perogative. If you are enjoying the oral sex that she gives to you, then perhaps you ought to be satisfied with that? I realise that it would be more pleasurable to come inside her mouth as opposed to not coming inside her mouth but if she really doesn't like it, you can't force her. Why not ask her if she would like to do it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2005):

It sounds as if you are a female asking the question!

You wouldnt rape her(force her to have sex with you without she wanting it)?? Why force her to swallow then if she doesn't want to?

Perhaps you should cum into a capsule, close it and get her to swallow it, then she would've swallowed it but not got to taste it.

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A reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (11 May 2005):

Devil's Advocate agony auntJust tell her that it's good for the complexion, not to mention full of protein...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2005):

You should try to see it her way too. Let her do what I did to my husband. I let him cum in my hand and made him taste a tiny bit, then maybe you'll see why A LOT of girls don't swallow

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