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My GF said the open box of condoms belonged to a friend, but I wonder...

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2006)
A male United States, anonymous writes:

I let my girlfriend borrow my car tonight to pick up some items from her mom's bf's place which she didn't get anyways. When she came to pick me up so I can drive her back home, her purse was open and it had a opened box of condoms which she normally does not have on her to begin with. I asked why she had them and said it was her guy friend's who had them in his pocket and gave them to her while he was emptying his pockets. She said she didn't do anything nor would she, and was upset I would accuse her without letting her explain. Should I believe her?

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2006):

Wendyg agony auntFact is buddy whatever the case is here and it does all sound rather suss.... You dont trust her! Rightly or wrongly there is no trust in this relationship, without that you dont really stand a chance. You need to confront her and tell her what you think, if its innocent thats the risk you take. It could be innocent i dont know, it could all be a case of 2+2 = 5 and its all circumstantial and coincendental or she could be cheating... you will have to take the risk and ask her, you know her and deep down if you dont trust her now, even if you are justified to do so its going to be a long road. Unless you have this out with her your not going to know and thats going to cause strain anyway, but deep down i know you dont trust her, so i think to keep yourself sane you have to move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

grr.. to make a correction.. her friend was a guy... i'm just upset now..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well as for why she didnt get the stuff was because her mom told her to leave it and it will make the move fine. as for the friend I didn't ask her about that, but she says she was her ex.. and she told him I was her cousin. which in itself was troublesome for me when she told me that..

But well today.. I was going to hang out with her, but her phone got disconnected and was calling me from a private number, so i go by her house to wait for her to call.. I goto this one park where we buried her dead hamster to make the grave a little more tidier and right by there was a condom wrapper the same as she had on her last night. and it appeared to be fresh as well.. so to me that tells me right there she has done what she said she didn't.

Moreso.. at one point when I brought up the fact that she hasn't told him she's takenm she said it was none of his business and that he never tells her if he's dating anyone... but then later one he suddenly has a girlfriend he had sex with prior to going out with her,, why he had the condoms in the first place..

i dont know because if I tell her what I found, she'll say I shouldnt have been thinking it and that it was just some other couple there, but in the whole time we went there there wasn't really anyone else there and it's odd that they'd be using the same kind of condom. but i dont know.. ugh!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006):

i would have the same reaction as you, it seems pretty obvious she has been up to something. have u asked her why she didnt get the stuff she said she was going for?

have you asked her why she was with this friend instead of at her mums bfs?

have you asked her why she didnt tell you she was seeing a friend and nt going to her mums bfs?

do you know this freind? could you ask him why he gave her a packet of condoms?

has her behaviour changed of late?

when she explained did you believe her?

did it seem as though she was lying?

answer all of these questions and i think you will get your answer. i think you should listen to your head rather than your heart on this one, she may not doing anything wrong be but you dont want to be treated like a fool

hope i help xXx let us know how you get on

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A female reader, Smiler +, writes (29 June 2006):

Smiler agony auntHey Babe

Well some of the things you just mentioned don't seem to add up do they? your quite right... i mean she borrowed the car to get stuff from her moms bf's that she never got? condoms in her purse that she never usually carries? why would her guy friend empty his pockets to Ur g/f and give her the contents? all sounds very suspicious to me but you asked her straight and she said nothings going on right? so to be honest she already doubts that you now don't trust her, that's not a good feeling not to be trusted... but your also assuming that straight away she's cheating.. not good again, honestly i think she's right and not cheating she is happy with you why cheat? you are being a little paranoid babe loosen up a little your g/f wouldn't be so obvious if she was stupid enough to cheat... she would of been hiding the condoms hoping you wouldn't see not leaving them in her purser on full view don't you agree? don't let paranoia spoil what sounds like a good relationship apologise for assuming and accusing her of cheating and not trusting her explain why and I'm sure she'll be fine :o)

I hope my advice was of help to you in this situation :o) and good luck with it. If you ever need a friendly chat of shoulder to cry on or just more advice I'm always here for you

You Take Care X

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2006):

Wendyg agony auntYes it seems a bit suss, but if thats all you have to go on dont assume shes up to no good. But you seem to have already marked her card without really listening to her explanation, so is it that you didnt trust her anyway ? We need to give people the benefit of the doubt, until proved otherwise. If you love her, trust her. A box of condoms doesnt mean anything, shes hardly likely to put them somewhere for you to see in any case, for instance she could have just taken one or two and put them in her purse so that they were hidden away rather than still in the box. Its feesable that this guy just emptied his pockets and she thought no more about it. She told you that she wouldnt do anything, so you have to trust her, if you really think that she did cheat then you need to have it out with her, but you might need more evidence than this, and be careful because if it is innocent you may lose her!

Take care x

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