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My friend will have threesomes with my girlfriend, but refuses to with his girlfriend, why is he being selfish?

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Question - (2 January 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I’ve have had mmf threesomes that had involved girlfriends and my best friend. After we did the first time he asked if we can do it again with other girlfriends. So at least with 4 different girls we’ve had threesomes. It has been cool, and its not been an issue with him hooking up with my girls away from me. But my thing is anytime I ask him to get into a threesome with any of his girlfriends he declines. I don’t think this is fair.

He tells me his girlfriends don’t feel right about it, and he doesn’t push it with them. But then he so easily jumps in with my girlfriends. And he’s even asked them straight out in my presence if he can get into a threesome with the girl I’m with even before I ask her. Usually they say yes…he is a good looking guy, good package and all, can’t deny that. That’s how it usually has started up. I’m was in a no win situation this last time; they both wanted to do it, before even asking me! Its like I cant even get into a serious relationship before he gets in and were in a threesome. I have not minded the threesomes, we all have fun, but I can see it will ruin my relationship with the girl.

I don’t know what to do here but I think I should be involved with a threesome with one of his girlfirnds! This just isn’t right. How can I convince him that he’s wrong for not allowing me to get with his girls and he boldly gets in with my girls.

View related questions: best friend, threesome

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009):

Well darling I am in a very similar situation! We are a gay couple and my boyfriend was diagnose HIV Positive in December 2007! beforehand he was sleeping around like there was no tomorrow and myself having been Positive for 20 years I took care of him and helped him going through the initial shock of the diagnosis. then because of an Epidydimiis problem he was unable to have sex for 8 months! being the type of faithful devoted partner for me I will not think of having sex with anybody else but my boyfriend so I was patient and prayed it will sort itself out! Very recently we agreed to try a threesome to help spicing up our relationship but of course that particular time it ended up in a row because the other guy was so drunk and picky about anything we did that I threw him out of the house(not naked of course as I am a hostess with the mostest so I waited for him to get dress naturally!;-)

You might feel that your partner starts ignoring you which sows the seed of doubt and insecurity in the overactive mind. I would advise you to sit him down(like I did) and express your feelings so as to make the things clear to him and let him know how you feel. at least come to a compromise to discuss the 3somes together and most importantly agree together because if you start feeling like it is being imposed on you and you just go with the flow so to keep him by your side it shows that your relationship is starting to flag and run out of steam. communication in a couple is paramount to make sure both parties grow in harmony and love each other unconditionally!

I hope it will be alright and sort itself out to both your satifaction!

Pascal

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A male reader, funkykev100 Canada +, writes (1 December 2009):

you have been used and tossed you know that?

start a new relationship with some else who will treasure you and won't screw with another guy without your permission.

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (12 November 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntI think you are feeling that your freind is not fair to you because you can't sleep with his girlfriends but that's soemthing that has to be okay with them not him. If they are choosing not to sleep with you maybe its because you are a second rate guy with a small package. You clearly are not all that hun!

You have to do a little growing up and accept that your friend is more desirable than you.... accept it and stop crying like a baby! if your girlfriends are so willing to hit the sheets with your friend then maybe you should just break it off with your friend. But that is taking the cowardly route. What you should do is stand up and be a man and never allow your friend to make that move....letting him seduce your girlfriends makes you look like a pussy! No wonder they end up breaking up with you ..its not about your friend fucking them..its about you LETTING your friend fuck them.

Grow up little boy!

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A male reader, 17Irish17 United States +, writes (5 March 2008):

Forget the 3 some with his gf's...He's no friend at all. It's all about him. He has already demonstrated he will not change so why try? It will not stop.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

First of all this guy reminds me of the type of guy who wants to be a swinger and bed your wife, but you can't bed his. Secondly..where do you find all these girls who willingly engage in threesomes? I don't have a bit of a problem getting sex from most girls, but if I were to suggest a threesome, I would be told to get lost and never see them again. The girls I meet love sex, but privately. No threesomes. Either this is a BS story, or you are meeting the type of girls I never meet, and I have met some rather kinky ones.

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A male reader, BadVoice United States +, writes (2 January 2008):

You sound like a idiot to me. Why do you continue to punish yourself? Don't you know how to say no more?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

What is your priority? Keeping your so called friend happy or establishing a decent, long lasting relationship with a beautiful girl of your own? I hate to say this but all this sharing is ruining your chances of a stable relationship in the future - you may never be satisfied with just one woman. Please take a break from all this and think carefully. You might meet an amazing woman in the future who is absolutely NOT into this kind of thing. Although you are still young how long do you plan on maintaining this kind of lifestyle? Good luck

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A male reader, tcasc United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

If you want to establish any sort of exclusive relationship on an emotional level with your boy friend don't go in for threesomes of any sort. If you want a meaningful relationship with any man don't allow this sort of activity at all. Fine for him but he will not care for or respect you.( he will tell you her does of course but you would be foolish to believe him) He wont allow you to have a three some with any of his girlfriends either because they refuse as they see through the situation or because he wants an exclusive relationship with one of them!. Sorry to be harsh but you must respect your self, find a man who just wants you and only you. I am not a prude about sex, i have had such an experiences but they were among friends ( ok close friends) but thats absolutely all they were and ever could be. So ditch him, find some one worthy of yourself. An emotional connection is closely tied up with a physical one , unless there were other extreme factors never allow your man to have another woman. If he really wanted you, he wouldnt want that would he?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

I think its high time you reevaluated your friendship.

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A female reader, hellogoodbye123 United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

if his girlfriends don't want to you can't force them to and if you're starting to get negative or jealous feelings from this perhaps you should stop before your friendship is ruined by it.

Also you speak as if you have no choice. next time he asks to have a threesome with your girlfriend and you don't want to share her just say no, whatever he or she says.

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