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My friend wants me to have sex with her and I don't want to!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i am kinda in trouble here i have this friend i have known her since we were kids and now she wants me to have sex with her . . . .but i dont see her like that how do i tell her that i just want to be friends i dont know what to do i am confused?

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2010):

Country Woman agony auntPersonally I think you have had very sound advice from everyone.

At the end of the day if you are not attracted to this girl sexually and you value her friendship, you have to be honest with her.

Tell her you are flattered that she feels this way about you but you have NEVER thought about her in an intimate way and you could just not imagine having her in your life right now as anything more than just a fantastic friend that she is.

If you view her like a sister then maybe that is the way you need to explain it to her. The fact that you have basically grown up together since childhood seems to me like you could never view her as anything more than someone extremely special to you and that is a line you could never cross.

If she is the person you think she is then I do believe she would understand. Just ask her to not let this affect your friendship as it was obviously something she felt very strongly about. You could ask her if she has ever slept with anyone else and if she viewed you as her FIRST as such because she feels so close to you. That could explain why she has asked you rather than just seducing you instead.

Keep us posted eh!

BFN

Country Woman

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A female reader, Sammibear3 United States +, writes (3 February 2010):

Don't be confused. Just tell her exactly how you feel and how "having sex" can ruin a lot of things. Explain to her that you care for her too much and sex isn't just something you give out like that. If she doesn't understand, do you think she was a good friend after all.?

Friends should understand you and be there for you, always!

:)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

One more thing. If you turn this girl down with an explanation about how you only want to have meanigful sex with someone in a serious relationship that you feel that way about, etc, . . . then make sure she doesn't hear about you screwing some air-headed hottie 3 weeks later that you barely know.

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A male reader, caterpillarchapstick United States +, writes (3 February 2010):

it is likely that she has had a crush the entire time you've known her. be very casual when you explain to her thats not the kind of relationship the two of you have.

consider this however; she may think she is in love with you. surely you have love for her. can you think of two good reasons not to give her a chance? if you can, well, idk maybe just let her open up to you and you just listen.

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A female reader, WiccanWonder United Kingdom +, writes (3 February 2010):

WiccanWonder agony auntJust explain that you don't see her in that way, be careful how you word it. I say this from experience, because girls can be EVIL if they're upset (I know this because I am too :P).

Just say to her something along the lines of:

'You're a really great friend, but I don't want that to be make awkward or changed'

Hope this helps

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