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My friend of 20 just got engaged to a 68-year-old. What problems might they expect?

Tagged as: Age differences, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am a 23 year old girl and my friend is 20 years old.

She told me she has recently got engaged to a 68-year-old man she met in a pub - he is the owner of it, and that he is a decent person, was what she told me.

She asked me what problems would she would face as a result of the age gap if they did get married - what are they??

Advice appreciated

Kayleigh in Redruth, Cornwall

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

Personally if your happy then go for it. Age is just a number! Dont be dis-heartened if people talk, they always will they are normally the most shallow people who lead such boring lives they have to discuss yours, Goodluck x

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A female reader, pinkandfluffyhandcuffs +, writes (3 February 2006):

IS YOUR FRIEND MAD!!!

WHEN HE DIES WHICH IS GONNA BE SOON SHES GONA BE DEPRESSED FOR AGESSSSSSSSSSS TELL HER TO GET A LIFE! AND A YOUNGER BF!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006):

Possible problems:

(1) Sex life - I can think of a few potential issues there!

(2) Things in common - music, movies, hobbies, types of holidays they like, food, friends, sport etc

(3) Children - does she want kids? Will he (a) be able to physically give her children (b) how long will he have with them once they are born - 5 years, 10 years - what happens after that, who supports her and the kids

(4) Support - he no longer works I assume - does he have enough money to support a new wife and potentially children

(5) Values - different age groups, different values - does she want to work, study etc - will he support that - some men of that age don't agree with a woman working or working in certain industries ie engineering. What are her dreams and goals?

(6) Love - is there a true love there or are they both searching for something else - a father figure, a fun fling etc etc

(7) Goals - travel, meeting new people - will he be open to this if this is waht she wants or will he be looking to relax at that age

(8) Aged Care - this may seem silly but from now he should be thinking about issues such as his health and what happens if he has a heart attack, stroke etc and his care. Does he have enough money to potentially pay for an aged care place or a nurse. Whilst we don't know how healthy he is - he could have a health complication that could result in him needing higher care. Is your friend prepared for this type of thing? It could be a big responsibility if something happens to him which the risk increases for people once they start getting into their 70's.

Hope this helps your friend consider some of the issues surrounding in dating someone who is at a considerably different life stage to her partner.

Good luck, hope things turn out well for everyone involved.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006):

I might add, she met this guy at the pub's karaoke contest. She didn't know he had money until today.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 February 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntWell she must like her beer or he must be rich. Can't think of any other reasons a 20 yr old would even consider marrying someone 48 years older! I know God has a sense of humor but I doubt if His hand is in this. Your friend's soulmate is destined to wander the planet searching for her (or else finding a rich granny for himself). As far as the problems she might face...well they won't have all that much time together, so why worry about it?

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A female reader, PornStarKitty +, writes (1 February 2006):

PornStarKitty agony auntwell... you have probably already said this but the only ones i can think of are she might get called a gold digger! or she might have problems with sex, she might have problems with each others attitudes! because of such a huge age gap! im sure she will still want to go out quite alot and he might not ( also with othe issues!!) hope that helps!!

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