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My friend just started jerking me off even though he knows I'm a hetrosexual male!

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 May 2007) 18 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2013)
A male age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I stayed around a mates house the other week and we all stopped in the same room and some of us shared a double bed but made sure we had our own space. Well not long after that the lad lying near me moved very close to me and decided to put his hand on my penis. I had an erection at the time but not because he was touching me. He didnt take his hand off and then I was very and thrusted my hand down my shorts to sort myself and well i was doing this his hand followed!!! I couldn't believe it but I didn't want to shout anything out and say stop so I didn't no what to do. He then started to wank me off. I still didn't know what to do and I thought he would stop but he didn't. we then had a quick interval when it all topped and then he got his phone and wrote on a text message do you want me to do it again?

I was like no your a lad and its not nice i'm not enjoying it. He stopped but he still had his hands near me. When I woke up in the morning i found him wanking me off like he was last night but i decided to pretend to stay asleep to see what would happen.

Even though I'm heterosexual I enjoyed it a little bit and when he did it I would put my leg over his but now I'm scared that he will tell everyone that I enjoyed it and asked him to do it even though I didn't and I can't bring the situation up in conversation because he pretends that he doesnt remember what happened.

What should I do now and what should I say if he asks me to sleep over again?

View related questions: erection, my penis, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013):

it is totally fine. when i was younger I used to give head ons and jerk off almost all friends of mine. i know i am very cute, and at that time i got really excited about hearing and knowing that i was wanted for those all str8 guys, and i used to laid with many women more than sexual issues with guys. there is a guy that responded is true, man known exactly what they are doing and you can't imagine what our or their skills can lead you to other worlds better than drugs. Anyway, today they're all my friends, sometime one or other comes to me, I get horny, they ask for a blowjob or something but I don't do that because of I don't want to screw my relationship with them, and if one more knows I began doing it, all of them will come again asking and I still don't know about my sexuality, I prefer laying down with women but I like very much to use my hands and mouth to give those straight dudes pleasure.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011):

Enjoy it whilst it lasts and give him the same pleasure. This is a male arena and has nothing to do with sexuality.

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A male reader, lenhud United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2011):

if that happened to me i would let him do it for a while then i would get hold of his and do him ,that way you will know if you like it or not . i have done it many times and enjoyed the experiance

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010):

Haha, the most important thing here is that you have done nothing out of order. Not sure of the exact stats, but I think its somthing like 80% of all men have at least one sexual expereince with another man. Not sure of the extent of that activity, was a long time ago I read somthing about it.

Youv'e been pretty cool about what sounds like a gay mate(not to assume for definate) thats perhaps pushed his luck a little. Also in general youve been pretty cool by just not taking things too seriously. Its really not that big of an issue. If you don't like it, just say no. If you do then say yes. You know who you are, you know what you like and what you dont.

I don't personally agree with the whole 'experiment' bull shit. Its not an experiment, its somthing you choose to do cos you want too or you don't because you dont.

Just enjoy life and if your not happy with somthing, say so. If your mate wants to sleep over again, and you dont want him too because of what possition he may put you in, then tell him. Don't do somthing you dont want to do.

But if he is gay, then be a good friend and tryunderstand

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A male reader, Orkcus United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2010):

This sort of spur of the moment action can be off-putting if it happens to you for the first time. You need to act according to your instinct and decide what you want to do or not to do.

Sometimes it is best to talk about it though that in itself needs a certain amount of courage and understanding.

If it feels nice then try it; if it creates uncertainty for you then stop it.

From my own experience, the first time does create uncertainty but later, when you have had time to think about it, you may see it differently and use the situation as part of your growing up identity and experience.

Wanking with another boy does not make you gay but it does help to create an understanding of male sexuality.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009):

just kick back and enjoy it buddy - I am a gay male and I gave hand jobs and oral to nearly every straight buddy I had at one time or another - they have all moved on and got married or what not - and if anything it just cemented the intimacy of our long standing friendships - its never going to get out to the public - and chances are that if you just kick back and give access you will probably never get a better oral in your life - gay guys know the equipment - they know what they are doing - and they are getting just as much enjoyment out of giving as you are receiving...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009):

Dude. Your friend may be gay and secretely in love with you. Talk to him and find out if that is the case, If it is and you are as hetrosexual as you say you are then don't put yourself in that situation again. It would be unfair to him. If it isn't the case then enjoy doing whatever you both want to do with each other. No one else ever needs to know. I have heaps of mates that have done the same at one time in there lives. Some still do occationally and they are married. Totally normal and a beautifull thing beetween two close mates as far as i'm concerned.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009):

right if your gay den its fine but if ur not i dnt fink u should let him do that because he must be gay and if he asks you to sleep round his just so no and stay clear from him but if u enjoyed it that much den sleep agen and explore

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

look mate this happened to me and i let it carry on im 15 now and my mate still does it wiv me every cuple of months ya not gay just enjoy it.

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A male reader, nixt United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2008):

it you don't like it, stop it! you must have liked it a bit, straight men still feel pleasure.

stand up 4 urself!

or just experiment

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008):

Mate, don't ever let him do this again. If you prefer it more with women stick to women, makes sense to me. Anyway, why didn't one of you sleep on the floor like normal lads do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

nothing mate enjoy it or dont enjoy it your choice

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007):

Don't worry about it, honestly it's called experimenting! It can be a lot of fun. I'm heterosexual and my mate has done the same, and hey...a hndjob is a handjob haha, it feels good either way - boy or girl doing it! Just relax, but jesus he sounds horny! Maybe you should speak to him about it properly rather than him tearing your underpants off and grabbing away at your family jewels...

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A female reader, Just a Girl... United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2007):

Just a Girl... agony aunthunni dnt panic. feelings can screw you about but its all about experimenting. The thing is, if you enjoyed it, you enjoyed it you know. Its not like youre goin to get into a full time gay relaionship with him is it?? even if that was the case, its your life huni. Do what you feel comfortable with, not what you feel you have to do xxx

take care

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A male reader, lboy United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2007):

lboy agony auntdear reader,

i really dont think that you should be worried about this all it means is that you are open minded and if you turn out to be gay then you need to keep telling yourself that there is nothing wrong with that, it's who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. just see this thing through and make sure that you tell this guy that you dont want a relationship.

good luck

lboy

xxx

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (5 May 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntIt's okay that you pretended to be asleep and actually sort of enjoyed yourself. As everyone else said, it's TOTALLY normal to experiment. It doesn't mean that you're gay just because you had a little late night fun. There is nothing wrong with trying out everything... experimenting is lots of fun and well worth it.

I doubt he'll tell your friends, since he claims that he doesn't remember. He's probably a little embarressed as well for being so forward. Sounds like he just wanted to experiment a little bit too.

If you're really uncomfortable, next time when you sleep over, you sleep on the couch in a different room. If you really value your friendship, maybe you should talk about it with him at the next sleepover. Keep it just between the two of you.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007):

Ok, well, even if you are totally straight, you're obviously intrigued by this (you liked it a little bit, you put your leg over his, you pretended to be asleep to see "what would happen"). You might as well see this through until you get bored of it and then you can stop. This doesn't make you gay, by the way. Merely openminded. Just make sure your friend understands you don't want to be boyfriends before you do it again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007):

it's normal for teenage boys to experiment and it's hard not to enjoy that kind of thing. if he's saying he doesn't remember it then i don't think he'll tell anyone, so don't worry about that, is he gay? if he isn't gay then he's in the same situation as you, and if he asks you to stay over again and you're worried about it, just tell him no and make excuses. but i do think you really need to talk about it with him, even though it might be embarrasing.

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